Whhhhhiiiiiinnnniiiiing

amother

Sun, Jul 06 2014, 1:08 am

I restart the request in a more pleasant way.
If ds says "it's not faaaaaaair. He got more than me", I say "Mommy, I would really like" and ds know to begin the request using those words in a pleasant tone. I am very firm about not responding to a whiny request.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jul 06 2014, 7:00 am

If DD is toddler or preschool age, it's totally normal, and of course it will drive you crazy. This too shall pass. If she's 11 or 12, it's probably hormones combined with a growing sense of wanting to be an individual and not knowing how to express it.

Next time the whining starts, go down the "natural causes" checklist. Not enough sleep? Too hot? Hungry? Growth spurt? Need to use the bathroom? Kids often get their body cues confused.

The one whine I never give into is "I'm bored!" I tell DD "Your boredom is not my problem. You need to solve that one for yourself." I do NOT go down a list of things to do. If I just let her sit there and be bored, within 5 to 10 minutes she'll be off playing some incredible game or have her nose buried in a book.

Same thing with "I'm hungry!" Do NOT list everything in the house that there is to eat. If your child is capable of looking in the fridge and pantry, let them figure it out. I tell DD "Think about what sounds good to you. When you decide, just let me know and I'll be happy to make it for you."

Playing any kind of guessing games will only reward the whining, and make things 100x worse. It also keeps your child feeling like they are not capable of coming up with their own solutions. If she figures out a solution that you can agree to, praise her A LOT for her smart thinking and independence.

Give me some real life examples about what the whining is about, and I'll see if I can come up with some answers for you. Hang in there!

amother

Sun, Jul 06 2014, 9:20 am

She is 3. Here is an example:
We walk into grandma and grandpas house and I tell her to give them a hug or a kiss and she starts that whining voice and says nooo. Or she constantly wants to be picked up but the minute she is picked up she wants to be put down. Or she will ask for a food but the minute she gets it she starts kvetching that she doesn't want it anymore. When my husband and I embrace in any way she starts whining and pulling at our legs. When we don't put on her favorite video. The list goes on. It's worse then the terrible 2's.

freidasima

Sun, Jul 06 2014, 9:34 am

whine right back at her. I used to do this and the whining stopped them in their tracks. They realizing it is put on behavior, at three they aren't dumb, and after they get worse, scream and you just give them a drop dead look and say straight - no more whining. I do not listen to whining - they get it.