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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
DD miserable at summer camp WWYD?



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amother


 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 1:01 pm
So 11y.o. DD texed me that she's having a miserable time in the week 2 of the summer camp. This is the first time she's going to this specific camp, however she has been going to sleepaway camp for some years already. We moved to a different city so she doesn't know that many girls there, we spoke with counsellors and madrichot who said they'll keep an eye on her and make sure she's ok. We have a visiting day this coming week--should I offer to pick her up? The same camp runs a separate boys camp on the same site, and I'm worried how 9yo DS reacts if I only pick up his sister, because he seems to be having a reasonably good time.
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SRS




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 1:15 pm
I can't imagine going away to sleepaway camp for a few years already, so I might be out of my league, but what exactly is bothering her? I think your decision should hinge on what it is that is happening that is making her miserable. She might need to just make the best of it or it might be something actually damaging in which case you pull her home.
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Barbara




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 1:20 pm
amother wrote:
So 11y.o. DD texed me that she's having a miserable time in the week 2 of the summer camp. This is the first time she's going to this specific camp, however she has been going to sleepaway camp for some years already. We moved to a different city so she doesn't know that many girls there, we spoke with counsellors and madrichot who said they'll keep an eye on her and make sure she's ok. We have a visiting day this coming week--should I offer to pick her up? The same camp runs a separate boys camp on the same site, and I'm worried how 9yo DS reacts if I only pick up his sister, because he seems to be having a reasonably good time.


Did she start mid-summer (that is, after most of the kids were already there a month)? That, combined with the fact that its been the 9 days -- never the most exciting time -- may have affected her.

If you're going to visit her this week anyway, play it by ear. If she's really unhappy, you can pack her up and go home. But see how the week goes first. Once you tell her that she can leave, she'll give up.
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Greenbelle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 1:22 pm
11 is old enough to know if she is miserable or not.
when my daughter was 8, I made her stay for the full 3 weeks in camp and now years later, she still remembers it... I would find out why she is miserable. if other children are being mean to her or some other issue that is not easily fixable, I would bring her home. camp is not mandatory as school is. You might want to see if you can bribe the counselor to take a strong interest in making her camp experience a good one. its work 25 dollars/week to make her happy. probably the counselor is only 16 or 17 herself. good luck. this is not fun after you worked so hard and paid so much to get her there....
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 1:23 pm
Is there a camp mother on staff who you can contact and see if she can check up on your daughter.

If it was a single text I would wait to see what comes next because it could've just been a bad moment or day.

[Gosh, I must be getting old, I can't imagine having a phone in camp to use for texting]
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bookworm10




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 1:32 pm
I was miserable in camp. My parents never let me come home. I think it forced to work through it.

I was miserable just because I was homesick. I would see how she is doing on visiting day in person, and then make a judgement. Like a previous poster said, if she just started camp and it was the 9 days, etc, that could be why.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 1:44 pm
I was miserable in camp one year because I was being bullied. I begged to come home but my parents made me "stick it out" and stay there. It was horrible. I had flashbacks/PTSD for years.
Find out what exactly is going on PLEASE. I didn't verbalize what was happening to my parents so they assumed it was homesickness. :-(
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monseychick




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 1:56 pm
Dont get me started.. An incompetent family therapist convinced my parents to send me at 12, "so she'll become independent" .

I kept writing letters, I hate your guts, take me home you reshoyim. And my mother kept writing back, dont be a pill, you're such a drama queen...

I resent my mother to this day.. Over 20 years later... Exploding anger
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amother


 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 2:06 pm
It depends on how miserable. When I was that age I went to camp and I would write letters hhome saying how how much I hated it, I would sneak phone calls and cry to my mother. One day I got called to the main office. My mother had called the camp with her concerns and offered to take me home. I said no way I want to stay!!!!!
On the other hand my brother went to camp, made himself physically sick so my mother took him home. I guess it depends on what it is. Good luck!
Another bc ppl know this irl
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tweek




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 2:08 pm
My parents took me home when I was miserable. Two years later I went back and was fine. I am forever grateful that they listened to me and trusted me. I would have been traumatized to have been just left there in my misery.
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Bruria




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 2:25 pm
Talk to her and find out why she is miserable. Could be that she is homesick, but could be that the girls are not so nice, who knows. Maybe she just rather be at home, talk to her and see if it's better to pick her up or not.
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Barbara




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 2:45 pm
I stand corrected.

I figured since OP was going to see her this week, that was soon enough. But I've been convinced now that the others here are correct. Try to find out why she's so unhappy. If its general homesickness or not yet meshing with the other kids, leave it until visiting day to see if things get better. But there might be other issues that would make you want to get her out sooner.
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momX4




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 3:47 pm
call the camp any find out if there was a trigger to unhappiness. Was there a situation where she had to be disciplined and she sent you a text because she was mad?
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monseychick




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 3:48 pm
amother wrote:
It depends on how miserable. When I was that age I went to camp and I would write letters hhome saying how how much I hated it, I would sneak phone calls and cry to my mother. One day I got called to the main office. My mother had called the camp with her concerns and offered to take me home. I said no way I want to stay!!!!!
On the other hand my brother went to camp, made himself physically sick so my mother took him home. I guess it depends on what it is. Good luck!
Another bc ppl know this irl



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZxmWosG2iU
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invisiblecircus




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 5:31 pm
Is this misery out of character for her or is she the type or at an age where she is complaining about everything in general?

If she is generally happy in character, I would find out exactly what's bothering her. Is she being bullied or finding it hard to fit in?
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agreer




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 5:51 pm
To all those who said that it depends how miserable DD is:

Banging head Shame on you Puke At wits end

NO! Why is any degree of miserableness tolerated?!?!?!

Homesickness - more understandable; it usually goes away when you start to have fun.

But "miserable"?!?! NO! Take her home.

Ask her: "Do you want to come home?" If she says yes, don't second guess her. Her happiness should be your priority.
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amother


 

Post Mon, Aug 04 2014, 8:21 pm
I would find out what the issue is, a lot of times it's fixable. But I wouldn't ask her if she wants to come home unless she has brought it up herself. Once u give her the idea she will definitely give up
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