Until What Age is a Woman Attractive and Desirable

CatLady

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 4:15 pm

Yeah, my mom rocked! And we're only disagreeing about the need for lotions & potions. I'd rather see people work on themselves through attitude than through makeup although I have worked in hospitals long enough to know the value of the placebo effect. LOL

A corollary of this is that aging is not a disease requiring quasi-medical treatment. Take a look at Joan Rivers as an object lesson - she used to be pretty and now her skin is as taut and smooth as my 18-year-old niece's, but at what cost?

33055

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 4:27 pm

I like getting older. There is less jealousy from other women and less competition. I am seen as ME and not someone threatening a marriage. I can socialize in situations that I avoided in the past.

If you are pretty with a nice figure and dress unstated, you can be the nicest sweetest person and still threaten someone insecure. I like being a woman of a certain age. This phase is fun.

Dolly Welsh

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 4:29 pm

Miss Rivers is Miss Rivers. Her way of life has particular requirements that do not apply to people who are not Miss Rivers. I don't know her work in general but I was aware of a recent tape in which she looked mahvelous, dahling. That Chanel thing with the little black sweater and looong pearls and oh my.

As for lotions and potions, that kind of thing is details, and is decided on a case by case basis. Taste and knowledge will decide what is useful and what is not.

We all know the difference between attractive and attracting; we are not gunning for anybody's heart, here, usually, although some of us are not married at the moment, and might indeed mean business.

We are discussing managing a mentality here, perhaps. I was making a point about how one can be adorable at any age, within what's appropriate at that age. As Ruchel observed, the one whom one is impressing is older too, but that doesn't mean he's dead. One needs to meet him where he is holding.

Lady Godiva

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 6:07 pm

OPINIONATED wrote:

Quote:

Until What Age is a Woman Attractive and Desirable

My answer: 21

I hope you don't really believe that!

OP, attractive and desirable by whom? By younger men or by men in your age group? By other women?
There's beauty in every age, and attractiveness lays on a lot more than superficial beauty.

Take care of yourself, eat healthy foods, keep your body toned, dress nicely, put on age appropriate makeup that accentuates your natural beauty and you will be a beautiful woman.
Do all that and have a good attitude that sends positive vibes to others, a sense of humor, and joy at the happy moments of life and you will be attractive as well.

lk1234

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 6:27 pm

Opinionated- do you really think until 21 or were you joking.

Just wondering because I think my late twenties was when I had my peak "beauty". When I was 21 my face was still filling into itself.

Also my style has developed over the years so at 21 I knew nothing about makeup and hair and clothing and now I know so much more so although I feel like I used to be prettier I have developed my style much more so it sort of evens out.

Imogen

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 6:28 pm

Op I totally understand what you are saying. I feel shy to admit it, being a person who always says personality and intellect matter most, certainly not appearances, but I too want to be considered attractive, it matters to me to be nicely dressed and well groomed, not too much, but yes I like a certain image for myself. I wish I was not like this as I have had a great education, business opportunities and should by now as I am well over 40 stop being vain and superficial. BUT I like to try my best to look good, and guess what I feel it most when I am confident and happy.

I find confidence and contentment are incredibly attractive to both sexes and a woman who smiles, seems comfortable in her own skin and is at ease with the world around her is both attractive and desirable. Ask any guy on a shidduch date what he thinks if his date is smiling and welcoming. Think of public figures that are most desirable, it is not just a great figure or perfect skin, but a good smile, a warm and poised manner.

I know attractive sensual women in their fifties and plain dull girls in their twenties. I am not talking hot chanis who sometimes to me can look like a man in drag when over made up with excessively coiffured sheitels and too tight clothes, no I mean stylish women of any age who have expressive faces and graceful body language. I thought at 30 I was getting old, it bothered me but in fact extra years give you extra confidence and an understanding of your own style, so I think any age can be attractive for a woman. An older woman will be older, but that does not negate her desirability or appeal unless you are in some kind of competition with the younger generation, no need for that.

amother

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 6:55 pm

sabich wrote:

Maybe not so much in our world, but of course the older ones are in competition with the younger ones, they might lose their husbands to them (I'm thinking Holywood right now). And the fact that you're saying that as long as the older ones are not in competition with the younger ones, they can be beautiful, does show that beauty has very much to do with age :-(

debsey

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 7:07 pm

Desirable to whom? I agree that there is a certain power to being female and attractive - both men and women are often nicer to pretty people (research shows this), but the tradeoff is that as we age, we get the power of wisdom. I think it's a reasonable trade-off.
Of course, if we are nothing but a pretty face, when that pretty face fades, what's left?
I was in Baltimore this week. We stayed in a hotel on the harbor (with what felt like HALF of lakewood)
anyway, there was a huge party on a cruise ship for former Playboy bunnies (apparently, the first "playboy social club" which was a restaurant with waitresses in Playboy Bunny costumes. It was around from like the 50s to the 70s)
Well, my daughter and I were strolling on the harbor, and we saw this huge commotion, so we wandered by. All the former "bunnies" were lining up in their costumes for a picture.
I've never seen such a sad sight. The costumes may have been flattering when these women were 16 or 22, but it doesn't work on an 80 year old.
How sad that these women were trying to recapture old "glory days". I HOPE some of them went on to do something meaningful with her life, because otherwise, this is all that's left..........

Maya

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 7:09 pm

Squishy wrote:

That's interesting. I never feel like I'm in competition with anyone, or that other women think I'm threatening their marriage. Do you think it's your responsibility to stay out of situations just because some wives are insecure?

amother

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 7:25 pm

I realize that vanity and materialism are 2 different things, but I believe vanity is a spinoff of materialism or somewhat related. Had my issues stemmed from vanity or materialism I wouldn't have pointed either one out.

I agree the thirites is not an issue so much with attractiveness. The twenty and thirty somethings are same in attractiveness and beauty. My issue is more with embracing the idea of getting older especially after the twenties and thirties.

Is this why there's the saying of "life begins at forty".

33055

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 7:52 pm

Maya wrote:

I never felt in competition with anyone. Other ladies perceived me as the threat. I stay out of situations I am uncomfortable with. I am uncomfortable making others uncomfortable. I do think we have a responsibility to not flaunt what Hashem gave us especially if others get jealous.

When I was younger I inadvertently did a terrible thing to my sister and I feel bad about it even today. I was out with her and I told her to watch how men turn their heads when I walk by. It wasn't a power thing with me. It was more like whats with the swivel heads? It never occurred to me that they weren't doing this to every female. At that point I didn't realize I was especially pretty or had a nice body. I thought it was funny. I wasn't thinking of her POV.

When my friends' husbands would make a fuss over me, you can bet I stayed far away after that. I became the focus at several mixed weddings having men crowd around me talking about me. BH this doesn't happen anymore. I am still the same me.

A lady can still draw attention even if she is not dressed like a HC without doing anything to attract that attention.

Lady Godiva

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 8:06 pm

Squishy wrote:

I've been to plenty of mixed weddings and I'm trying to think if I've ever noticed crowds of men staring at and talking about a woman because she's so exceptionally irresistible and I just can't picture that scenario. Are you sure it's not in your head? The majority of men hang out, enjoy the food and drinks (sometimes dance) and socialize without making one woman the focus of their collective attention. Few men in this world are that desperate.

amother

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 8:16 pm

Some of the hottest women in Hollywood right now are in their 40s: jlo, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Anniston, Cameron Diaz, plus less hot but super successful and pretty Tina fey and amy poeler. 30s isn't even considered old there anymore it seems.

There is something alluring about youth but since you're not trying to catch a man it's good to be a classy and beautiful woman in her 30s

33055

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 8:35 pm

Lady Godiva wrote:

I've been to plenty of mixed weddings and I'm trying to think if I've ever noticed crowds of men staring at and talking about a woman because she's so exceptionally irresistible and I just can't picture that scenario. Are you sure it's not in your head? The majority of men hang out, enjoy the food and drinks (sometimes dance) and socialize without making one woman the focus of their attention. Few men in this world are that desperate.

I am not psychotic in the least.
*Freshman year in college I had 7 guys show up in my room at once with candy flowers cards, etc on Valentine's Day. I ended up walking out of the room because it was a nutty situation. I thought these guys were friends. I sent a different friend in to shoo them out. I got more Valentine's Day Cards than I got holiday greeting cards.
*A bride did a double take at a non frum wedding I attended while walking down the isle. She actually stopped mid walk. At the same wedding her father in law asked me to dance with him before the bride. I was sitting there minding my business. Another friend overheard some men talking about me saying they wanted my dirty laundry. BTW I wore makeup for the wedding which I never did and a pretty party dress.
*Another Scarlet moment I had was when I was on a bow of a boat minding my own business waiting for my friend and her husband to show up and after a while I was surrounded by a crowd of young men. Granted boating is more of a man's activity, but they came into my space.
The boating incident was in my late 20s. The wedding was my late 30s. I was in my late teens as a college Freshman.

My affect is that of an absent minded professor. I rarely made eye contact in those days.

As I feel I am a different person and certainly in a different league in looks, I will say that I don't think the men were desperate. I think they were average.

Boy, do I wish I started this conversation as amother.

amother

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 8:39 pm

Squishy wrote:

Gosh, I really want to meet you!

(I'm sure this sounds really creepy now lol. It just sounds like you're quite the beauty.)