Where are you from?

amother

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 5:28 pm

Born in Toronto. Made Aliyah when I was 2.5 yrs old (with my parents of course! ) to Moshav Matityahu.. Grew up in a "chareidi BT" home, but my mom was adancer and so we listened to Little Richard, lot's of jazz music, Israeli folk dancing and south-african zulu music..

growing up, went to Bais Yaakov in Kiryat Sefer, and though I had many friends, I always knew we were " different" at home. For high school, attended an American style Bais Yaakov high school that was supposedly less rigid than the usual Israel Bais Yaakov. I got kicked out from there in 10th grade for having a boyfriend (we were always shomer negia, and I think that if my environment would have allowed it, we would have been considered just "friends").

At the age of 16, went to New Gateshead seminary in UK. Got married to an Israeli, modern chariedi guy. Modern meaning- he worked as well as learning in yeshiva from the age of 17, owned a car at 17, didn't wear a black hat till we got married, and even nw, only wears it on shabbos...

We live in Brachfeld, Kiryat Sefer in a chassidish neighborhood, cause it's what we can afford now. I stand out with my custom made wig and my denim skirts and short ankle socks.. and unlike my neighbors, I enjoy wearing the "settler" style head coverings..

As for pot, never smoked any, though most of my close childhood friends did.

rednavy

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 5:36 pm

amother wrote:

My dh and I grew up mo in nj went to secular colleges and never smoked weed or did any drugs. Fine with a drink but not into doing anything illegal.

Rednavy, not trying to be judgemental but can you explain why you and your friends were ok doing something illegal once married? I more get high schoolers or young college kids trying it to be cool or wild.

We were young college kids, as were our dhs. But we didn't try weed to be cool or wild. After hearing so much about it and because some girls' new dhs had already tried it, we wanted the experience once!

amother

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 5:54 pm

I'm from Brooklyn, grew up litvish/JPF, went to a BY HS and seminary. Married a guy from the NY area as well who grew up in a Heimish home and then switched to a Chafetz Chaim Yeshiva derech. I identify as chareidi but have internet ( filtered) and will occasionally watch a show to relax, no TV. professionally educated, My husband is in chinuch. never tried weed, me and my husband like to joke that when are kids are all grown and it will presumably be legal we would love to try it together. this thread is so interesting Very Happy

amother

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 6:08 pm

rednavy wrote:

It's just interesting to me that none of my rw mo (stern) friends did any drugs and you say all of your more chareidi friends and their dhs did. I'm surprised.

rednavy

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 8:08 pm

amother wrote:

It's just interesting to me that none of my rw mo (stern) friends did any drugs and you say all of your more chareidi friends and their dhs did. I'm surprised.

My wording must have been confusing.

Most of my friends never tried weed.

The ones who did, tried it after they married men who smoked.

amother

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 8:25 pm

I grew up in a bubble (apparently) in Queens, NY.
WEnt to to BY my whole life and my brothers went to the local cheders...
my father wears a black hat, my mother covers hear, but they have no problem going to the movies.
and they watch a ton of TV. (as did I, growing up)

I married a regular Yeshiva guy, with chassidish schooling, whos parents are professors. and my dh is now a dr, after being in yeshiva for 6 years.

amother

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 8:28 pm

Wow, its so interesting to hear about all of your backrounds? Im from new england and was raised with strong chassidic values but am not chassidic. Im not sure how the topic of smoking weed got into this thread, but why the negative stigma? Maybe we should be rexamining our own communities, and the question should not be " omg youve done that!?. But " why havent you done that?" Just sayin... ( dont get me wrong im not promoting drug use, just the idea of a more open minded people, makes for a better understanding of ourselves and the world we live in )

mommy3b2c

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 9:35 pm

Born and raised in Brooklyn. I do not consider myself chassidish, litvish, yeshivish, mo, charedi. If I had to pick a label it would be heimish with no levush (for the men). Grew up in a very open minded, chilled home. I hate extremes and I'm quick to defend any group that is being put down. I have never smoked weed but really I would like to try it once.

amother

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 9:43 pm

amother wrote:

Raised Lubavitch somewhere in the midwest. BT parents. Now live in CH.

Oh, and I never tried cigarettes, drugs or controlled substances of any kind, never had any interest.
I like wine and I've tried beer once or twice, didn't like the taste.

amother

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 10:07 pm

grew up JPF/MO in NJ. became yeshivish in my JPF/MO high school. went to bais yaakov sem.

married a guy from the same background who 'flipped out' in israel.

we live in lakewood, he is in kollel for 6 years and counting b"H (and just put out a sefer! so proud of him!) we are quite yeshivish, no TV, very filtered internet for parnassah. but I still consider myself open minded. proud to consider all of you friends!

eschaya

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 10:08 pm

Grew up on Los Angeles, JPF. Went to very frum seminary and kind of joined the yeshivish world. Now I'm back to JPF, though dh has elements of both. We live in a tiny OOT community.
The home I grew up in is straighter than a ruler; we didn't drink wine on Shabbos or even Purim, would not purchase anything unnecessary even though money was not tight, did not eat butter because it would clog our arteries, did not raise our voices in anger, did not go to amusement parks b/c the natural world is so much more wholesome (you get the drift), and considered smoking and drinking and any vice a weakness and a negative reflection on character, so the use of recreational drugs never even entered my consciousness. This was obviously a result of my home upbringing, and not my community or my Jewish affiliation.

amother

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 10:11 pm

amother wrote:

I am this amother- drugs never crossed my mind. maybe I will ask DH if he ever tried. he will think I am out of my mind Smile

I think my superintendent smokes something, because the hall near his apartment sometimes smells funky. sometimes its a sweet smell- reminds my of my grandfather a"h's pipe, and sometimes it smells yucky, like an earthy asparagus-gone-wrong kind of smell...

mysunshine

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 10:26 pm

I am a Bucharian, Sefardi Jew, from Uzbikistan. Raised in traditional home. Came here when I was 11. Went to public school for two years. I became friends with religious girls since lived in Boro Park and then switched to Yeshiva. Loved jewish learning. Married BT guy. Our kids go to frum bais yakov schools, b'h. I thought it would be nice to add to such a diverse group.

amother

Sun, Sep 07 2014, 10:34 pm

I grew up in NYC, went to private non Jewish schools. My parents were super strict and did not understand the permissive mindset among my parents' friends. I had the earliest curfew, no allowance, always had to work, etc and even so I got myself into a fair amount of trouble in high school.

I became frum just after college, met my DH, who is from a very traditional background and was also becoming more religious and we got married. We understand each other because we both had rebellious teen years, despite both coming from strict households. Our parents worried a lot about us and are relieved that we are so "boring" now.

We both smoked a LOT of pot from high school through college and then got bored of it. We both excelled academically anyway. We don't smoke anymore but I do miss it sometimes. I never liked drinking very much nor did I ever get into "real" drugs - too icky.

For what it's worth, I know quite a few people in my MO community and several other MO communities who still smoke sometimes motzei Shabbos or after the kids are asleep. There are a lot of people like that, but it's really not discussed unless they think you might be like that too Wink

I don't give out that vibe anymore (I come off as much more aidel maidel than I am, which is fine with me), but maybe my DH does, so sometimes we hear about it. I don't judge anyone who still smokes because frankly life is stressful and it does take the edge off...its just not for me anymore.