Leaving baby in car when dropping off older child

mandr

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 1:13 pm

amother wrote:

I always wonder if the same parents who are okay with leaving their baby/toddler in the car for just a minute or two would also feel comfortable leaving their car unattended with cash and jewelry spread all over the dashboard in plain sight of anyone who passes by. Well, I wouldn't and my children are far more valuable to me then all that stuff.

To you. But to the thief on the street, your jewelry has more market value, sorry!

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 1:14 pm

amother wrote:

My children are more valuable to me than cash and jewelry. But when was the last time you heard about someone being mugged because she was walking with an adorable baby and some thug wanted the opportunity of waking up at night for him or her?!

Would you leave a siddur or chumash in plain sight in your car while you go into the supermarket? Because according to your line of reasoning, since that is also more valuable than money, we should never leave a chumash unattended. Obviously, there is some flaw in that logic.

amother

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 1:15 pm

for now the morah is in the backyard with the kids till ~9:30 so I just have to walk him to the yard, open the gate, wave to her, close the gate and head back to the car. ALSO when there are vans parked in the little lot I CAN see the tops of the vans, just I have a sedan. even with the bushes I can see if the car would move back out of the parking spot.

but you are right, come the winter I dont expect her to be waiting outside in the mornings anymore. hmmmmm

amother

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 1:17 pm

mandr wrote:

To you. But to the thief on the street, your jewelry has more market value, sorry!

What, you think there are no sickos out there who want to take or harm children? Not to mention the child could be hurt without a weirdo coming around. They could get tangled up in something, choke, whatever... The point, I thought was clear, is that we should be treating our children with far more concern then "stuff".

amother

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 1:17 pm

amother wrote:

OP here. I do leave my purse in my car (on the front seat not the dashboard tho) and FOR SURE would if I had to carry my baby too!

I can see people standing in the lot too... just not my car.

amother

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 1:21 pm

kb wrote:

Since one can replace their siddur and chumash a lot more easily than their kids, I'd say YOUR reasoning is flawed.

asp40

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 1:34 pm

No, I would never leave my baby in a car. And this is form a mother who used to shlep in twin babies to her 2 yr olds preschool class. and then shlep another baby, and 3 toddlers into preschool. Plenty of mothers left their one kid in the car. I even complained to the director of the school and she said, well, people have babies. I said, well, none of them have more babies than I do, and here I am shlepping. No one seemed to care. Yes, it was a pain and yes it would have been easier to leave them in the car. But it is just not safe.

SRS

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 1:47 pm

amother wrote:

The problem is that its a very small playgroup so there is no assistant (yeah and its not legal)

Personally I think THIS is your bigger problem! If I was concentrating on child safety, I'd be looking for a daycare that has at least 2 staff members. Surely the staff member will need to leave the children for this or that or step into the bathroom herself.

I don't think there is that much real risk of your child being hurt being left in a car for a few minutes. But one caregiver with a number of children who lacks another set of eyes would be a risk in my view.

ora_43

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 2:02 pm

SRS -

I was also thinking that the daycare setup sounds more dangerous than the whole drop-off issue.

OP, I'd probably take the baby if he's awake. The baby(/toddler) probably wouldn't like to be left alone.

If it's really just 1-2 minutes, you could probably get away without putting him in a coat every time. Just bring a warm blankie in the car and wrap him up in it.

If he's asleep - it's a tough call, IMO. My main concern would be the possibility of car theft. I can't say how I'd weigh that against waking a baby - depends on the neighborhood, depends on the baby (IME some babies hate to be woken up with the burning passion of a thousand suns, some don't seem to care).

Mama Bear

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 2:40 pm

No need to unbuckle the child from the seat - maybe you can get one of those snap n go car seats that you can put the whole car seat onto a chassis and wheel the stroller? or how about unbuckling the whole car seat and taking the car seat with you to the sidewalk and then letting your dd run in to the backyard? or can you leavfe your baby with a neighbor for those few minutes?

amother

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 2:42 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

my baby is closer to a toddler and no longer in an infant seat.
I cannot leave the baby with a neighbor, as my next stop is the sitter and then on to work.

bookworm10

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 4:46 pm

Last year,I would drop my 2 yo at playgroup and have to walk him inside. I parked one spot away from Morah's house, and took out my keys. My 4 yo was in the car and she didnt want to come. I would never leave the car on, but I was afraid of locking the car in case I dropped the keys in the grate or something. Many times I left the door open on her side so I could watch her the whole time.

And in an entire year,I never left the car for more than 30 seconds. If the spot was taken for some reason, then I forced her to come out with me.

LiLIsraeli

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 4:49 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

A snap n go is not necessarily more convenient - you have to walk around to the trunk, open the trunk, get it out, unfold it, get out the car seat, put the car seat into the snap n go, secure the carseat, close the trunk. Then you have to do the same in reverse when it's time to go again (a minute later)! I have a snap n go and much prefer to just shlep the baby inside. When the baby was really little and it was colder, I would lift out the whole car seat and shlep the car seat with the baby inside.

I have this same issue - I drop off all the kids one at a time and then head to work. I occasionally leave baby or toddler in the car but only if I am in sight of the car the entire time. When I have to walk around to the back of the house, I take everybody with. That's why I appreciate so much playgroup morahs who have the kids waiting outside at the end of the day!

Right now I have arranged my schedule that the 3-year-old gets dropped off first and can walk from the car to the morah's front door with me supervising from the car. Then I drop off the baby, leaving 2-year-old in the car. I leave the baby with the babysitter at the front door, and I am in sight of the car the whole time. Said 2-year-old can also unbuckle self and come out if necessary, so I always make sure to park either in the driveway or with the side door facing the sidewalk and not the street. 2-year-old gets dropped off last and then it's off to work for me.

OP, if you can rearrange your dropoffs, it might be much easier for you, especially if you can take a different route to work.

amother

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 6:13 pm

A mom left her kids in the car to run into my office for one minute to drop off a piece of paper. The car was parked right out in front of a big plate glass window. The cops took the babies with their carseats.

Mothers you are idiots if you leave your children alone in the car for a moment.

Anonymous because this story is well known among my friends

chocolate chips

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 7:19 pm

There seem to be a lot of pure perfect moms out there who never do one thing slightly out of the book.

Kudos to you all.

Realistically op I think you have to do what YOU feel is right for YOU. We have all done things we are not proud of or wish we didn't have to do but life sucks and sometimes we have to just get things done. Leaving a kid in an airconditioned/heated car in view for 2 minutes is not ideal but it will not kill you or the child.

And btw, re:a car hitting a parked one, I was in a car with both my kids at a traffic light and someone hit me from behind. My kids were fine and I was hurt. They are usually safer than us since car seats are the safest way to travel. Seatbelts don't protect as much as a proper safe car seat does.

I mean realistically we should all just stay at home in bed with our eyes closed we would be so much safer (and get much needed sleep!)

MaBelleVie

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 7:26 pm

amother wrote:

Would not feel comfortable doing that.
Just lately I.needed to leave the baby in the car, and it had happened in the snow or rain/when baby is asleep. I will always ask another mother to watch my baby while dropping off older dc.

This is a great idea. Sorry if someone already mentioned it- it sounds like there are lots of mothers there doing the same as you. Can you ask someone familiar to keep an eye on your baby while you run the older one in?