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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
amother
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 Sat, Oct 04 2014, 9:35 pm
| amother wrote: | Bank fraud and real estate schemes
I'll enjoy the money till he's caught and goes to jail
Then I'll move on |
Not sure if your serious or not.
We're in a situation now where we can't make ends meet, and I daven for Parnassa.
But after reading a post like this, I have more to thank Hashem for: thank you Hashem for an honest husband.
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catonmylap
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Sat, Oct 04 2014, 10:05 pm
| amother wrote: | Is it worth it? Yes. His work is very meaningful and he has great job security. He will not earn this much in ten years the way the health care system is going though.
We have minimal school debt we are paying off, slowly just because the interest rate is so low. If he had to take it all out in loans? Not sure we would have done it.
I think there are very few fields that pay so high without a lot of hard work, long hours, higher schooling. Unless you just get lucky (business takes off etc) |
wouldn't it be best to pay off the loans ASAP even if it means living more frugally for a while?
(I admit I have listened to the Dave Ramsey a few times)..
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m in Israel
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Sat, Oct 04 2014, 11:17 pm
| catonmylap wrote: | wouldn't it be best to pay off the loans ASAP even if it means living more frugally for a while?
(I admit I have listened to the Dave Ramsey a few times).. |
Actually, from a purely financial perspective it is often worth paying down loans with low interest slowly, if you can be investing that money in the meantime and earning greater returns then the interest rate. But that takes discipline and good financial sense, and if you don't keep to it you can end up a lot worse off -- without the money and still with the debt. The reason Dave Ramsey is so vehemently into paying off "all debt except the mortgage" is more of a practical/psychological angle -- will you actually pay your investment account as carefully as you pay your debt, will you manage that money well -- then a purely financial one.
Personally debt gets me very nervous, so I DO go with the Dave Ramsey approach, but it is very possible that amother's decision to pay of her low interest student rates slowly is quite sound financially.
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amother
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Sat, Oct 04 2014, 11:19 pm
| amother wrote: | Ok, I am absolutely flabbergasted at the number of women who post about total family income over 200k being "tight". I don't understand. We've been living off of 55k a year (that's before taxes, btw. After taxes it's 45k a year) and have several kids and B"H we are fine. We can't afford a dime for tuition so don't send our kids to private schools, which yes, is a downside. But other than that, we live fine. Have a nice house. Nice clothes. Even get to make "frivolous" purchases from time to time. AND we live in the NY/NJ area.
So why do people act like 250k is practically in the poorhouse? |
Today there generally is no middle class. The low Income get government aid - such as Medicaid, food stamps, section 8 etc etc, while those earning a slightly better wage are in the dumps- Between insurance, over the roof taxes etc. I can relate to sweating to pay the bills with a comfortable Income.
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m in Israel
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Sat, Oct 04 2014, 11:27 pm
| amother wrote: | Do you think that its fair to ask that others pay your children's tuition (via scholarship) when you are able to do so, but have chosen not to?
Would you consider it appropriate for the school to say that it is taking into account your earning potential, and refusing to give you financial assistance? Or taking into account your greater earning potential, and basing financial need on a $200,000 income, since you could have the same impact on your family by your husband staying home?
Do you feel that another family in which both parents are working full time in order to earn the income generates $140,000, should be entitled to more assistance than you are?
Do you think that another family where both parents work and make what you used to make should get financial assistance, since the only difference between you and them is that you decided not to work?
Not suggesting the answers, simply posing the question.
By they way, though, you're not living on 1/3 of the income that you used to live on, you're just taking a chunk of the money from someone else, through scholarship.
ETA that I know of at least one school that would take your prior income into account, and deny financial aid. |
Where does this type of questioning end? Maybe we should give everyone requesting financial aid an IQ and aptitude test, and if in fact they could have gone into a higher paying field then they are in, we should assess tuition according to that "earning potential"?
Does it sound fair that someone who could have been a surgeon making 200,000 + a year and CHOSE to become a teacher should get more of a tuition break than the one who actually went to medical school and now works crazy long hours to make a much higher salary?
How about a lawyer who CHOSE to take a job at a firm that he liked better even though he had an offer at a higher paying practice? Perhaps we should assess tuition based on the job he COULD have had? What if he didn't actually get an offer for a higher paying job, but he didn't look hard enough?
What about all those people who CHOSE not to go to college altogether? Assuming there are no serious learning issues, they probably could be making more money with a degree.
The bottom line is I truly don't understand why the amother who had a degree and worked (paying full tuition) for many years and then choose to be a SAHM is less deserving of the financial aid then someone who never went to school to begin with and was a SAHM all along. Because if you take into account "prior income" that is in essence what you are saying.
edited to correct spelling mistake
Last edited by m in Israel on Sun, Oct 05 2014, 4:19 am; edited 1 time in total
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mommy3b2c
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 4:46 am
| eema of 3 wrote: | | It does....you just have to know how to get the most out of it. Eating meat and chicken every day is an expense, one that many people don't enjoy. If you live a high lifestyle, then you will probably feel more strapped. I don't make much and my husband definitely doesn't make $200,000 or $250,000 but for the most part we don't really feel strapped. We send our kids (with the exception of the oldest) to less expensive camps, I get their clothing at less expensive stores (target, children's place on sale + coupons) and we don't have meat or chicken every day. Some months are tighter than others, but bh we have always been able to pay our bills. |
Is meat and chicken everyday really considered a luxury?
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amother
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 5:10 am
| m in Israel wrote: | Where does this type of questioning end? Maybe we should give everyone requesting financial aid an IQ and aptitude test, and if in fact they could have gone into a higher paying field then they are in, we should assess tuition according to that "earning potential"?
Does it sound fair that someone who could have been a surgeon making 200,000 + a year and CHOSE to become a teacher should get more of a tuition break than the one who actually went to medical school and now works crazy long hours to make a much higher salary?
How about a lawyer who CHOSE to take a job at a firm that he liked better even though he had an offer at a higher paying practice? Perhaps we should assess tuition based on the job he COULD have had? What if he didn't actually get an offer for a higher paying job, but he didn't look hard enough?
What about all those people who CHOSE not to go to college altogether? Assuming there are no serious learning issues, they probably could be making more money with a degree.
The bottom line is I truly don't understand why the amother who had a degree and worked (paying full tuition) for many years and then choose to be a SAHM is less deserving of the financial aid then someone who never went to school to begin with and was a SAHM all along. Because if you take into account "prior income" that is in essence what you are saying.
edited to correct spelling mistake |
The difference is that she actually earned that money rather than she was a contender.
What the first poster wanted to do was imput the income which is a settled legal principle. The courts can and do imput income in certain cases like child support cases because it is unfair for one spouse to work less than they are capable causing the other spouse a bigger burden.
There appears to be something in Halacha that doesn't allow this. I actually agree morally with the first poster. Lawyer mom could work part time from home rather than have her children be the school's burden is the school can't afford it. There are plenty of options.
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Ema of 5
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 6:06 am
| mommy2b2c wrote: | | Is meat and chicken everyday really considered a luxury? |
bh for us we can afford it if we wanted to, but when someone (not specifically the person I quoted) is crying poverty, it is definitely an added expense which can be minimized.
also, I said expense, not luxury. there is a difference. an expense is anything which costs money. a luxury is something you can afford after all other expenses are taken care of.
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imaima
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 6:28 am
| amother wrote: | The difference is that she actually earned that money rather than she was a contender.
What the first poster wanted to do was imput the income which is a settled legal principle. The courts can and do imput income in certain cases like child support cases because it is unfair for one spouse to work less than they are capable causing the other spouse a bigger burden.
There appears to be something in Halacha that doesn't allow this. I actually agree morally with the first poster. Lawyer mom could work part time from home rather than have her children be the school's burden is the school can't afford it. There are plenty of options. |
Why is emotional health different than physical? Had she said, she developed some kind of hormonal disorder or fatigue, and had to stop working full-time and received scholarship, no one would have blamed her for doing it. Now that there is an emotional problem, everyone thinks she should have worked.
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mommy3b2c
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 6:34 am
| eema of 3 wrote: | bh for us we can afford it if we wanted to, but when someone (not specifically the person I quoted) is crying poverty, it is definitely an added expense which can be minimized.
also, I said expense, not luxury. there is a difference. an expense is anything which costs money. a luxury is something you can afford after all other expenses are taken care of. |
I agree. But the other poster didn't say she's poverty stricken, just that she's far from rich and does not have a ton of luxuries. When you answered with the meat example, I thought you were saying it was a luxury. Not the first time I saw that idea on this board, and I was curious to know if that is really a commonly held belief. Based on what you wrote above, I think that we probably believe the same about meat/chicken. It is a normal expense but one that people can do without if struggling to make ends meet.
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amother
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 6:36 am
My husband's secular education ended after 9th grade, and it wasn't a very high-level education at that.
I don't know how much he earns, but we have enough to cover our expenses and put away about $100,000 a year. But my husband has a very frugal wife 
Dh is self-employed. He has two businesses and does lots of stuff on the side, like toiveling people's dishes, that most people in his position wouldn't bother with.
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chatouli
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 7:05 am
| amother wrote: | | Lawyer mom could work part time from home rather than have her children be the school's burden is the school can't afford it. There are plenty of options. |
Please feel free to post links to some of those work from home, part time legal options that pays enough to be worthwhile - I've been trying to find one for a year and a half with no luck. Thanks!
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granolamom
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 7:18 am
| chatouli wrote: | | Please feel free to post links to some of those work from home, part time legal options that pays enough to be worthwhile - I've been trying to find one for a year and a half with no luck. Thanks! |
I'm not a lawyer but a friend of mine is and she has a small side business fighting traffic tickets and such for people. I have no idea how much she makes or if she's doing it for the fun or for the money, but maybe its an idea?
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amother
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 7:48 am
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Dh couldn't speak English when we got married. I would sit with him every night and teach him. He went to a chassidish yeshiva and no other degree or education. Today he is a successful medical computer programmer and bh makes 5x that amount. He is an extremely hard worker and a go getter. He credits his success to Sayta deshmaiya and only earning honest money.
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Jeanette
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 7:48 am
| mommy2b2c wrote: | | I agree. But the other poster didn't say she's poverty stricken, just that she's far from rich and does not have a ton of luxuries. When you answered with the meat example, I thought you were saying it was a luxury. Not the first time I saw that idea on this board, and I was curious to know if that is really a commonly held belief. Based on what you wrote above, I think that we probably believe the same about meat/chicken. It is a normal expense but one that people can do without if struggling to make ends meet. |
As suppers go, chicken is not necessarily the most expensive option, nor is it the cheapest option.
What most families I know do is have a mix of cheaper and more expensive suppers which they alternate throughout the week. People like variety anyway.
You can make a chicken stir fry or other chicken dishes that actually use only 1-2 pieces of chicken for the whole family and the rest is rice/vegetables. That's actually a healthier way to eat than to have a full piece of chicken per person.
What really kills the food budget in my experience is things like takeout, ready made foods, spreads, etc.
A milchig meal can end up costing a lot more than a chicken dish if you pay a high price for CY.
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amother
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 7:59 am
| amother wrote: | | Nope, no government assistance, no wic, and no insurance, we pay out of pocket for anything that comes up, including births. My babies have to have formula and we pay for all that too. Plus other expenses that most people don't have to pay. |
You're not paying your whole salary to tuition. That's the difference. Try having a tuition bill of 55K and then you'll see why some people with a salary of 200K pre tax are living in the poorhouse.
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MaBelleVie
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 8:04 am
| amother wrote: | | You're not paying your whole salary to tuition. That's the difference. Try having a tuition bill of 55K and then you'll see why some people with a salary of 200K pre tax are living in the poorhouse. |
And she's not paying for insurance. That's nice, but not an option for people who have more involved medical needs. Also, the stress of huge medical bills would kill me. What if chvs someone was in an accident? What if chvs someone developed a chronic or serious illness? What happens when there's an unplanned pregnancy?
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ectomorph
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 8:47 am
My husband works at a lawyer job, comparable to what this woman used to do, and it is completely incompatible with being a good mother.
All of you mothers who are judging this woman for leaving her job, are you working from 7am to 12am, and on call 24/6??? If you have any spare time at all maybe you should be working as a cleaning lady at night, or do babysitting, so you have to take fewer scholarships?
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amother
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Sun, Oct 05 2014, 8:57 am
| chatouli wrote: | | Please feel free to post links to some of those work from home, part time legal options that pays enough to be worthwhile - I've been trying to find one for a year and a half with no luck. Thanks! |
You have to make your own. Why would you wait a year and half and not create your own opportunities? The ones with no education and are making it are go getters. There are so many things you can do, but if you have to ask then you won't do them. I will list some ideas anyway.
You can do transaction based legal work from home such as closings, wills, bankruptcies. You can also do per diem work for other attorneys. You can use the local bar association offices to meet clients. I have done this without a staff or office. Charge slightly less and you will need an assistant quickly. Word gets out fast if you are prompt. When you first meet clients tell them your schedule.
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