just caught my son calling a 1800 s&x number help!

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Just caught my son calling a 1800 s&x number help!

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amother

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 8:51 pm

I just picked up the phone and hear a women in a husky voice saying.... do you want to be spanked by babes... etc.. and some other ridiculous things....my son hung up when she said to enter your credit card number... he is 12 years old! he claims a boy in his class told him about this.....
help!
how should I proceed?
Is this normal?????

amother

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 8:54 pm

deleted

Last edited by amother on Wed, Dec 03 2014, 9:14 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 8:57 pm

excuse me! I am most definitely not a troll, I was horrified and really don't know how to proceed
(for the record I am a long time poster here but for obvious reasons don't want to post under my screen name)

Pooh

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 8:59 pm

Wow that sounds horrible! I have no experience w this but if I was in ur shoes my first step would be calling his rebbe and deciding together how to handle the situation. Hugs! And hatzlacha

squirrel

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 9:03 pm

Why was op called a troll, these things do happen in real life unfortunately.
Op please DO NOT call his Rebbe and Please do call a therapist.

causemommysaid

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 9:09 pm

Do NOT NOT NOT call the Rebbi.

other than that I have no good ideas

PAMOM

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 9:10 pm

A boy doesn't need a therapist because he calls an 800 number once . He needs you or his father to have a talk with him about respecting women , about zxual urges at this point in his life, etc. if he starts using your credit card to pay , you can reconsider your options.

mummiedearest

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 9:12 pm

squirrel wrote:

Why was op called a troll, these things do happen in real life unfortunately.
Op please DO NOT call his Rebbe and Please do call a therapist.

I don't think a therapist is necessary. you can certainly call his rebbe and let him know that this number has been passed around the class. you do not have to let the rebbe know that your son actually called.

now is a time to have a frank talk with your son about what is ok and what is not. he is curious, and you should address that. let him know that you love him no matter what, that you hope he wasn't too upset by the experience, and that you are there to answer any questions he may have.

amother

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 9:17 pm

2'nd poster here:

You're right, and I'm sorry. I have (tried to) removed the post.
Hope there's no hard feelings!

belovedaz

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 9:18 pm

talk to ur rav or ur son's Hug

Rebbe

sweetpotato

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 9:18 pm

Sounds like curiosity got the best of him . . . I hope you won't have any scary charges on your phone bill! (When I was around 12, a friend and I called a psychic hotline, not realizing that they charge. At the end of the month we both got in huge trouble when her mom saw the phone bill!)

amother

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 10:01 pm

The poor kid might have no clue what he just tried to do. Why talk more than necessary? Ask calm questions, and listen, and encourage him to come to you with any questions he has.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 10:07 pm

amother wrote:

The poor kid might have no clue what he just tried to do. Why talk more than necessary? Ask calm questions, and listen, and encourage him to come to you with any questions he has.

Best advice yet! For all you know, the friend might have told him that it was a funny "Joke a Day" phone number to prank the poor kid.

Ask open ended questions, and leave lots of room to let DS tell you what happened. React as calmly as possible, and keep your facial expression neutral. This is not the time to attach an emotional charge to a situation that might be completely innocent and naive (or at worst, just plain curious.)

Clarissa

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 11:09 pm

He was curious. Sit down and ask him what’s going on, tell him he can be completely honest with you, ask if there’s anything he wants to know about s*x. If it was a one time thing tell him it’s an expensive waste of time and energy but you understand his curiosity. If he’s been going it a lot, find out how he’s been paying for it and discuss. But don’t humiliate him by going to a rabbi or something. Seriously. Twelve is a delicate age, humiliating and shaming a kid for s*xual curiosity is really damaging.

The 1-900 number thing is expensive and not really the best outlet for budding s*xual feelings, obviously, so I’d get him to stop if he’s been doing it. But don’t get on his case for the curiosity. He’s twelve. A normal 12 year old boy.

Last edited by Clarissa on Thu, Dec 04 2014, 7:58 am; edited 1 time in total

Hatemywig

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 11:30 pm

At the age of 12 my DS came home from school and told me that a boy was telling other kids 'bad websites addresses'. He was curious and tried to type it in during his computer time except that the filter blocked him. I think it was pure curiosity. He never brought it up again in that context.

A year later, he was the one to tell me that a classmate brought [filth] magazines to school and had offered to show it to him and some other classmates. DS told me he wasn't interested. He may have looked and been interested, he may have looked and decided it's wrong, he may have peeked and turned away - there are so many options, bottom line, he came to tell me - his mother as he knew it was wrong, possibly because he was concerned for himself and possibly out of concern for his classmates and as he knew that this is not the right thing to do.

I had 'The talk' with him not long after, he asks me questions when he has them.

My point is OP: It is entirely possible as other amothers have said that a kid played a prank on him or that he was just curious. A 12 year old calling a s-x line is not an addiction unless your phone bill shows multiple phone calls to the number.

I suggest open dialogue and answering questions as they come. This is your opportunity to have 'the talk' and open yourself up to right and wrong.

Good Luck!

amother

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 11:37 pm

block those numbers

amother

Wed, Dec 03 2014, 11:42 pm

When I was a kid those numbers circled my class at some point.
We all tried to call at home. I did too.
It was new info and exploring too me.
And I turned out fine, I'm not a sx addict or something.

I would tell you to have a talk with him as other posters mentioned above.

amother

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 12:38 am

It sounds pretty normal. Don't call the Rebbe. It will stick in his head. Why make your son out to be a problem kid? Do open the lines of communication. And perhaps have your husband (or male relative he is close to) have one of those "frum birds and bees" conversations with him. Teach him what's appropriate and what's not. And be observant and check to make sure nothing more than that is going on.

gold21

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 1:36 am

Don't tell the Rebbe, that's mortifying for a kid

Maybe you can encourage him to start hanging out with a male mentor-type person that u trust who is like 17-22 age range.... your younger brother? nephew? Neighbor? And ask this guy to hint at these types of s#x hotlines to your son so if ur son needs to talk about it.... he has an opening.

amother

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 1:44 am

Do NOT call his teacher. Do you tattle on your kid for every thing he does? Do you really want to embarrass him? Unbelievable.
Talk with him, see how much he knows and work from there.
No therapist necessary unless he is addicted.

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