just caught my son calling a 1800 s&x number help!

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

Just caught my son calling a 1800 s&x number help!

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Sanguine

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 2:08 am

I once called one of those numbers when I was a teen (don't remember if 12 or 15) - Am I the only one on imamother who did (or the only one admitting it)? Never did again cause one phone call didn't turn me into a s@x addict. I heard it but didn't "need" more. " The line they say really doesn't mean anything to a kid (unless your son is already s@xually active Wink

). I never called again cause I realized it would be on the phone bill and I was afraid my mother would notice the charge and ask me what it was.

That was it. Ignore it unless your next phone bill has 100 charges for that number. Do you think lines like "do you want to be spanked by babes..." means anything to your son? (means nothing to me even now).

If you want to tell his rebbe that the number is being passed around like someone suggested, do it anonymously. Don't have your son's name attached to this for one phone call. (Just send the rebbe the phone # and see how he handles it shock

). If the number is going around the class maybe the rebbe should speak to the boys just in general about things like this, but let him decide. One phone call is really nothing.

Learning

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 2:13 am

Get someone to check your computer history and your phone record. Just in case it's bigger than you think. You have to be careful that he is not lying and he actually searched for this number. Just to be safe.

Ruchel

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 7:34 am

Maybe it just made him laugh or he didn't understand what it was. 12 is not 14 and definitely not 16. Especially frum kids.

Do intervene on the phone (take away, block, wtv).
Do tell the rebbe it's going aroud (no need to say he called, you can say he was given the number and told you).
If you see he caught on that it's s-xual (spanking is more ridiculous to a teen and frankly to many imo....) have a male talk about shmiras eyinaim & habris. Not you. Too mortifying...

Last thing sorry if he's mature enough to get it, do say these girls are someone's mom/sis/dd, and terribly exploited by worthless people.

momX4

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 8:51 am

I had fun as a child calling whatever 1800 number I can think of. when I got an inappropriate line I would listen for a minute and laugh. I did it out of boredom. today there are great programs on the phone geared to kids.
I would just have a talk that you dont call unkown numbers for safety reasons.

Talya

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 9:04 am

The only reason I'd talk to the rebbe is so he can know these things are going on in his class and try to address them. In this case though I'd probably send an anonymous letter so as not to embarrass my kid or make him out to be a problem child.

rosenbal

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 9:09 am

Hatemywig wrote:

At the age of 12 my DS came home from school and told me that a boy was telling other kids 'bad websites addresses'. He was curious and tried to type it in during his computer time except that the filter blocked him. I think it was pure curiosity. He never brought it up again in that context.

A year later, he was the one to tell me that a classmate brought [filth] magazines to school and had offered to show it to him and some other classmates. DS told me he wasn't interested. He may have looked and been interested, he may have looked and decided it's wrong, he may have peeked and turned away - there are so many options, bottom line, he came to tell me - his mother as he knew it was wrong, possibly because he was concerned for himself and possibly out of concern for his classmates and as he knew that this is not the right thing to do.

I had 'The talk' with him not long after, he asks me questions when he has them.

My point is OP: It is entirely possible as other amothers have said that a kid played a prank on him or that he was just curious. A 12 year old calling a s-x line is not an addiction unless your phone bill shows multiple phone calls to the number.

I suggest open dialogue and answering questions as they come. This is your opportunity to have 'the talk' and open yourself up to right and wrong.

Good Luck!

I'm so impressed with your relationship! You're clearly doing a lot of things right! This is what I hope for me and my kids too.

amother

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 12:03 pm

You will have your answer as to whether or not your son has a real problem when the phone bill comes in. Most likely it was a one time thing, and now that he knows how easy it is to get caught, he won't do it again.

That being said, not to scare you because I don't think this is usual at all, but - I once knew a man who made over $1,000 in 1-900 calls from his yeshiva dorm! Of course, the yeshiva called his parents to let them know what their kid was up to and to be compensated. While he never made that mistake again, he grew up to be a [filth] addict. As soon as he had his own money and no one to check up on him, he kept up this kind of addiction.

So, if there are one or two calls on the bill, chalk it up to curiosity. If there is an outrageous amount of charges racked up, get him to a therapist!

amother

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 1:25 pm

op here,
thank you everyone for your replies, when I calmed down a bit, my husband and I had a shmooze with him. I think he genuinely didnt understand what he was calling.
He went swimming one night with a group of classmates and one of the boys told the group about the number so they called it on the payphone and all listened. last night he was bored and wanted to call it again.
My husband does feel he should call the rebbe, being that a different boy introduced the whole class basically to this.
It just showed me, how I think my son is innocent and naive, but as much as we try to shelter, there is a big bad world out there, and even though, I speak to him all the time, and think we communicate greatly, I don't know everything thats going on....and that scares the heck out of me!

Think1st

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 1:45 pm

Call Ezer Bachurim 9143842627

Clarissa

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 5:41 pm

Think1st wrote:

Call Ezer Bachurim 9143842627

For a second I thought that was a number for a 900 s*x line and I was going to say, “Huh?”

"Feeling lonely, fellas? Want some s*xy female companionship? Call Ezer Bachurim at 1-900-PASSION. We’ll keep you company tonight! Have your credit card handy..."

Clarissa

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 5:48 pm

OP, I’m so glad you and your son were able to talk this out. Just keep telling your son he can tell you anything, anything at all. Kids need to know that they have a safe place to go to talk about these things.

rainbow dash

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 6:05 pm

momX4 wrote:

I used to do the same thing when I was 12 . I even called once to america from Australia and was talking to a operator about the weather.

amother

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 6:49 pm

Don't believe everything your son is telling you. First check it out. Research every computer and phone. If it's all clear than you can believe his story.

mummiedearest

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 7:00 pm

amother, why are you advocating a complete lack of trust in the kid? that sounds really sad.

ckk

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 7:27 pm

As a teacher I say please DO DO DO call his teacher.
For the sake of all your sons classmates its essential that you pass on this info.
Explain that your son told you that this number is being passed around. Who did or didnt actually call is irrelaevant to him.
He just needs to deal with it, talk to the boys, etc
Sooooooo important!

cbsp

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 8:09 pm

Just want to add that there may be a way for you to check you phone records online NOW rather than waiting for the bill to come.

Clarissa

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 8:25 pm

amother wrote:

Don't believe everything your son is telling you. First check it out. Research every computer and phone. If it's all clear than you can believe his story.

Thank you, amother. I think it was really nice for you to make this phone call into the crime of the century and stress out the OP, amother.

amother

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 8:26 pm

amother wrote:

Don't believe everything your son is telling you. First check it out. Research every computer and phone. If it's all clear than you can believe his story.

Imogen

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 9:18 pm

Please do not criminalise a child of 12!

Curiosity, adolesence, puberty, boredom, hormones etc etc

OP this is so normal and happens in many many homes, no one talks about, we all rather talk about our ds's 99% exam results.

Therapists are important for those with struggles, questions and challenging experiences/lives, not soon to be teenagers dialing a " naughty number " recommended by a chum at school. If men are taught to hide, over analyze their s-ual interests that is a great way to cause both repression and foster a hidden [filth] addiction to be. Forbidden fruit is sweet and too much of it can make you sick, but a whiff of the dark side is something many kids have come across, usually without their parents knowing, it helps to shape them and can also make them grow up as they realise that which is forbidden can actually be boring and uninspiring in itself. Play it cool Op, no need to take fingerprints wherever your ds has been. Talk with him calmly, let him explain himself and you explain yourself, keep an eye on things discreetly but the boy is only 12, ladies it is natural for boys to be curious about the big wide grown up world of s-x. I write this as a tutor at university, where often young men from repressed backgrounds arriving in the UK go a bit crazy with what is on offer in the city of London, open frank discussion and room for childish mistakes are not in their parents vocab

Hatemywig

Thu, Dec 04 2014, 10:11 pm

rosenbal wrote:

I'm so impressed with your relationship! You're clearly doing a lot of things right! This is what I hope for me and my kids too.

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