Purim day and the stress it involves

acemom

Wed, Feb 25 2015, 10:01 pm

Unless you work on other days, visiting all great-grandmothers etc etc does NOT have to be on Purim itself.

It is such an overwhelming and busy days for the elderly too, with everyone coming and going.

If you can swing it, take the kids to grandparents on another day. You can show off their costumes with pictures you took of them on Purim.

BTDT

As far as meals, feed the kids something before you go to the seuda(s) so you'll be sure they ate something you approve of.

Try to go to an early morning Megillah reading, before the kids and your husband are up and about. _{(It has been my goal each year but it never materializes as we go to sleep VERY late. Oh well...)}

Napping the little ones (and yourself) should be a priority. As long as you fulfill the minimum mitzva of MM, don't feel guilty about not handing out so many. Same with the kids (or arrange that they take it to school before or after if it is that important to them)

No advice about drunk husband issue right now, but most of the year I do bedtime on my own anyway. It is a bit harder though when the kids are on a sugar high. Purim is only once a year though.

Most importantly, don't stress over the small details. Try to enjoy yourself too!

zaq

Wed, Feb 25 2015, 10:24 pm

Tablepoetry wrote:

I'll answer, even though I'm not kvetching that purim is stressful for me.

Yes, I hate crowded malls. I do my best not to go there on big sale days unless I really need something. Going to a mall on a 'Black Friday' with kids sounds like torture to me.

Barring an emergency, the only store I walk into between late October through mid-January is the supermarket.

amother

Wed, Feb 25 2015, 10:29 pm

Sammy375 wrote:

Last year my daughter made a "Haman" by stuffing old clothes and a pillow case head with newspaper, and hung him from her window on a rope. I think she saved it in the basement, we'll see if she remembers it. I can't imagine doing that in the States...

One year the boys in the local mesivta here hung a haman effigy from the ceiling of the school entryway. It seems a man was walking down the street, observed this hanging figure through the window, and called the police. Police arrived in due time, investigated the report, and fortunately chose to be amused rather than irate.

amother

Wed, Feb 25 2015, 10:35 pm

Barbara wrote:

We donate about $5 per teacher we want to send MM to, and the PTA puts together a lovely basket, with a list of people its from. (All teachers get the same basket, even if fewer people donate for them.) Are we the only school that does that?

.

Nope. our school does that as well, though some parents would send private packages. Ours is a commuter school and many kids as well as most of the rebbeim commute, so there is no such thing as going to deliver MM and show your costumes to the teachers. THANK G-D.

amother

Wed, Feb 25 2015, 10:45 pm

Out of sheer curiosity, amothers who find Purim stressful, how do you feel about Pesach? Asking because of all the Jewish holidays including Shabbos and excepting Chanuka, I would rank Purim as the least, in fact I would call it not stressful at all, and I think most people would rank Pesach as the most stressful.

etky

Thu, Feb 26 2015, 12:58 am

amother wrote:

In a nutshell, Pessach is all about planning, following rules and control. Purim is intense, loud and chaotic.
Different things stress different people. I love being in control and therefore Pessach does not stress me out.

amother

Thu, Feb 26 2015, 1:08 am

I find the physical work for both yomim tovim unappealing and burdensome. Pesach itself is nice, though the weeks before are a nightmare. It all starts with the chaotic exhaustion of Purim and continues with weeks of hard work till when the kitchen is turned over.

It's nonstop physical work.

amother

Thu, Feb 26 2015, 2:30 am

Last year I felt bad to ask DH to lain the megillah for me in the morning (was too tired to get to shul) so I borrowed his megillah & did it myself! I have heard it enough times to do a pretty good job. This year I may ask him to listen to me practice beforehand, and may invite my girls (but I doubt they'll be interested).

m in Israel

Thu, Feb 26 2015, 3:16 am

amother wrote:

When I was growing up a similar thing happened in the local yeshiva high school -- the boys actually hung their Haman out of a second floor window! A neighbor across the street called the police who came down and found it really funny. One of the local TV news stations actually ran a segment on it with a quick explanation of what Purim is all about. . .

JAWSCIENCE

Thu, Feb 26 2015, 9:38 am

amother wrote:

I think everyone has something they find difficult and stressful. I know many ladies who would say Yom Kippur!

Mon, Mar 02 2015, 12:22 am

Chanee says
"So I calculated all things bringing the hecticness on purim. 1- megilla, the shull is not too far but I can't leave kids unfed undressed for babysitter. 2- then rushing suada because we must have the time to go to all bubbies and teachers. Yes, this is the way we do it. 3-then the turning point, there's no napping for the toddlers, no time to feed younger kids and at last 4- shleping home by myself with all kids.
So tell me. Should we not go to all grandparents? Not go to all teachers? How can the toddlers be napped and fed normally?"
The point is not to do it this correct way or the other. The point people are bringing about is to do whatever it takes for you to have this special Yomtov as easy and enjoyable as possible. There is no one correct way. You can see everyone finds a different way to make it work for themselves. I don't think you can do it my way and I can't do it your way. As I usually say, listen to a hundred people's ideas and find idea #101.