How does the small fish in the Jewish pond survive?

amother

Mon, Mar 16 2015, 3:10 pm

I'm not sure where to begin but let's start with were evicted. I'm driving around with 4 kids in my car and therapy animal. Short story.

I was religious yet not frum and I raised my kids in this manner. Horrible illness and every kind of tzuris but we soldiered on. My son was a abused by a rabbi while in hosp fighting for his life. Pled guilty so for anyone who wonders if the story is fictional there are facts to support it. Having made many mistakes in a prior marriage deciding to live 10 years learning to grow and become a better woman led me to choose a very religious chassid to marry.

Therein begins the problems. Those problems aren't on my part or on DH part. The problems are with inner workings I have no ability to affect. I can't openly discuss it here as Jewish community is just too small and close. Where do I go to have someone hear me. To tell my story and have it heard as if I'm a Jewish Neshama needing to be helped and heard not as a second class citizen with long hair and a long skirt.

Davening and tefillos are not showing me my path. I want to continue to live a life of Shomer mitzvot but HaShem has gone quiet on me. I know he is there but he is quiet and turned away for now. I'm supposed to be learning but what? He provides for the birds of the air am I not higher than an animal? Are my children the great grand Shoah survivors not the future of our people?

I'm lost and I'm clueless. I realize a therapy animal that was bought for a sick child is on the level of an avairah to many but to take it away would crush the soul of my child and she would hate judaism as an adult. She is close enough to grown as it is. Why do I struggle so much when I'm climbing up? I asked my gd this morning?

" don't you want me? You say you want us. I'm here. Take me , mould me and make me as you would desire. It appears you don't want me. It appears im as the non jews. My needs are metered out as you will it without consideration of the agreement between us on har Sinai? What am I doing wrong?"

I've no where else to talk, no one to confide in. We're a funny ppl. Baseless hatred costs us our dwelling w HaShem yet we continue this path. I don't hate anyone. I'm frustrated and tired and exhausted . What in the world do I do now? The room is dark but there is no light nor a window. The room feels hot yet there is no cool air to find its way in. We have the spark of HaShem within us so somehow I should find that light and light the room right? I don't know how.

I guess this post is about faith and what do you do when you're not letting go of faith but not sure where to go with it anymore because I can't find up. At least underwater air bubbles point the way. I'm so lost

naturalmom5

Mon, Mar 16 2015, 6:07 pm

I wish I had words of chizuk and wisdom for you
I'm in a worse matzav

:hugs

Frumdoc

Mon, Mar 16 2015, 7:39 pm

Why is a therapy animal an aveirah?

I hope you find a sympathetic ear and emotional and spiritual home.

amother

Mon, Mar 16 2015, 7:49 pm

Thank you natural mom. I appreciate that where you are at. Hugs.

Animals are too problematic for Jews because of shabbes and yt. They are tumah and they should be left to non jews unless you earn a living from something regarding animals. Animals do not belong on a Jews home yada yada yada ( not my words just what I hear all the time with intense disdain )

When a child is very ill and a therapist has insight that an animal would make a huge difference then you do it. You do anything to save a life. Once the kid is better then what? Put it down? Give it away? Tell me how that's hashems way? I don't believe in it. I don't follow it. I don't buy it. I am no less Jewish than the next Jew and my child and this animal thrive together. We follow the laws on how to feed them ect ect on shabbes and yt and yes it's a bit of work but I'm not so lazy a little extra work for my child on chemo is a big deal.

It's just the usual mishegas and I'm used to it. I just want moshiach to hurry gd please! This generation like every new generation is just so ugly. I'm ready so ready. May we merit quickly because im afraid of what will happen if it lingers much longer.

mommy3b2c

Mon, Mar 16 2015, 7:55 pm

Anyone who tells you these crazy things about owning animals is ignorant and most probably a moron. Ignore them, they are obviously a nebech person with no brains to call their own. You do what's best for your child, and do it proudly.

Ruchel

Tue, Mar 17 2015, 2:06 pm

There are charedi rabbanim with animals. YOUR animal is not necessarily muktze for YOU on shabbes, either. And tumah wise, just abstain from eating them.

abby1776

Tue, Mar 17 2015, 2:44 pm

I know so many "frum" jewish people with pets. All kinds of animals, dogs, cats, hamsters, mice, ferrets, gerbils, snakes, lizards, etc.

I am sorry you have tzuris. There must be a rav or an organization that can help. There are so many chessed organizations out there - if the yeshivish, chasidish, MO, DL, pick a flavor of jewishness, organization that you identify with didnt want to help you because of the animal, then find another Jewish flavor and try that organization.

amother

Tue, Mar 17 2015, 3:41 pm

I don't really have anything to add but wish OP only the best.
We are frum and have a pet hamster.
Never heard or been told any of this nonsense about not being allowed pets.
Plenty of my childs friends have pets eg. gerbils/hamsters/fish/lizards/rabbits even chickens!
Please do whats best for your child and don't let anyone make you feel bad about it.
As a side note, and I hope you dont mind me mentioning this but perhaps if you have a spare 15 mins in your day you could say Perek Shira. It's a beautiful tefillah all about the wonderful animals, and the lessons we can learn from them. I also know a few people who have said it 40 days in a row and seen a personal yeshua.

Maya

Tue, Mar 17 2015, 3:44 pm

You say in your post that you married a very religious Chassid. I'm sure you realize by now that Chassidish communities and societies are very rigid in what is/is not allowed, and they don't do very well with accepting people who have not grown up exactly like them. I also know that owning a pet (besides fish) is not looked well upon. Do you live in such a community?

abby1776

Tue, Mar 17 2015, 3:56 pm

You said your child is on Chemo have you contacted Chai Lifeline - they specialize in helping families with children who undergo Chemo and other therapies - http://www.chailifeline.org/