Are Shabbos robes "shabbosdik"? Spin off

bigsis144

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:24 am

imaima wrote:

it is not the first time that this idea is expressed, but...
... WHY ARE YOUR CLOTHES NOT MACHINE WASHABLE?

You can buy machine washable for shabes and simchas and anything else, and have no shabbes robes at all. Where does this idea come into play that everything has to be dry cleaned?

As I said, my home and work clothes ARE machine washable.

However, the clothes that are socially acceptable to wear to shul on Shabbos in my circles tend to be dry-clean-only type clothes, so I can't wear them at home on Shabbos.

spring13

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:27 am

amother wrote:

Anon because people have heard me say this.

What kind of message are you sending to your children when you announce that you can't be bothered to dress for shabbos?

And what is it that robes are worn mostly by people who think there's a religious value in dressing formally all the time? You wouldn't wear a velour hoodie and jean skirt during the week even if they make sense for running around with kids, but on shabbos you suddenly value comfort over proper dress.

I think it's bizarre, but absolutely none of my business.

Have a good shabbos whatever you are wearing.

I wear a jean skirt and a velour hoodie during the week whenever I can manage it. Even out of the house, to shop at the local Jewish supermarket. So then I'm allowed to wear a Shabbos robe, right?

The message I send to my kids is, your home is your palace and you can be yourself here. And if your true self does not wear control top pantyhose and a sheitel all the time, then that's a true self I want to hang out with.

Kitten

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:40 am

bigsis144 wrote:

Just as a side note, many dry clean only types of clothes you can actually hand wash. You probably even could wash them in the machine on a gentle cycle. I've made the experience myself.

pause

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:45 am

amother wrote:

I dress for Shabbas. I actually look very pretty in my sheitel, makeup, beautiful robe (whether one piece, two-piece or three), socks, and slippers. At one point I even had special Shabbas slippers that were prettier than my regular weekday ones but a bit less comfortable.

pause

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:48 am

imaima wrote:

This is the same type of crowd who eat all sorts of food all week long, but on Shabbes they grace their table with a beans and potato stew (sometimes even meatless!!) and on pessach they get by with potatoes, carrots, beets and eggs...

I've never seen a meatless cholent anywhere!!!

Shabbas foods are Shabbosdik because we only eat them on Shabbas. These are foods that I make especially l'kovod Shabbas.

And that's besides for their being traditional, and there's a lot to be said about honoring long-time family traditions.

Chayalle

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:48 am

Raisin wrote:

that actually bugs me more. I think it is so disrespectful to shabbos that people think gefilta fish and salad and maybe a bowl of chicken soup is a kavodik meal. Its not. Especially if the rest of the week you are eating steak and grilled chicken.

Steak is rather rare in my house, but grilled chicken is an easy dinner.

For Shabbos, I serve my family a special meal - the same one served by my mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, etc....for generations. It consists of homemade Challah with dips, gefilte fish (or other fish, when I'm in the mood), Salad, Chicken soup with noodles, roast chicken, potato kugel, farfel, and apple crisp.

Now, what's disrespectful to Shabbos about a traditional Shabbos meal?

ETA: All served in an elegant Shabbos robe, of course. Or sometimes a long black skirt with a dressy sweater/top.

Notsobusy

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:09 am

amother wrote:

My kids see me get dressed on Shabbos, in my beautiful Shabbos robe. I also wear more makeup, such as I don't wear eye shadow during the week, but I always do on Shabbos. I always wear jewelry on Shabbos, but rarely during the week. So, no, they don't see that on Shabbos I value comfort over proper dress. They see me get dressed for Shabbos before I light candles every week. Maybe not how you get dressed, but how I get dressed.

Quote:

Yes, we sometimes have a meatless cholent, but only when money is really tight. Then again, we hardly ever have meat during the week. We buy chopped meat, but steak is once a year for a special Chanukah treat (and I keep an eye out for specials for weeks before) and I make pepper steak once or twice a year for special occasions.

mille

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:16 am

I don't get any of this, but I don't think I'm meant to. I have never seen a shabbos robe 'in the wild', and I can't even think of a person I know back in the recesses of my brain that owns one. When I think of 'shabbos robe' I think of those black crushed velvet things with maybe some lace detail around the neck and sleeves (it reminds me of Ron Weasley's dress robes...). I just think they are not attractive in general, but that's just me, and that's why I choose not to wear them. Surely others think what I wear on Shabbos is ugly, so they choose to wear something else.

But I don't get what this kerfuffle is about. Who cares what someone else wears? Who cares if you don't think someone else's dress or meal is "kavodik" enough? I am sure they certainly don't care what you think, so why bother judging other people?

I think the important thing is that each individual person designates, in their head, what is different between shabbat and the rest of the week. Something small, something big, it doesn't matter. Something that innately changes when you light Shabbat candles. Something that reminds you it's Shabbat, in a meaningful way. If that's your shabbos robe, fine. If it's the smell of the chicken soup that you make every single week, even when its 90 degrees out, fine. If it's the beautiful tablecloth you use on Shabbat instead of the good ol' square pattern one from bed bath & beyond that everyone has, fine. If it's that you let your kids have "shabbos soda" and "shabbos cereal" instead of water and plain cheerios, fine.

As an example, I read books on my kindle all week. I have a specific book or series that I read only on Shabbat, in the paper version of course, so it's essentially a "Shabbat book". Even when it's getting really good late Saturday afternoon, I put it away for next Shabbat, even if I really really want to keep reading. This reminds me more that it's Shabbat (and gives me something to look forward to) and gets me into a Shabbat mood more than a robe or a maxi dress or dressing up or eating cholent ever would.

I think it's so much more important that we make Shabbat personally meaningful rather than getting caught up in the little details of others' lives.

Raisin

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:39 am

Chayalle wrote:

sounds yum. But I've heard a lot of people say their family is full after the fish and soup so they stop there. (it does not seem to occur to lots of people to cut out the fish or soup instead)

Notsobusy

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:44 am

Raisin wrote:

sounds yum. But I've heard a lot of people say their family is full after the fish and soup so they stop there. (it does not seem to occur to lots of people to cut out the fish or soup instead)

My husband always complains that he gets too full after the soup, so he asked me to serve it after the main course. It took me a while to get used to it, it just feels wrong somehow. I would skip the soup altogether, but some of my kids get really upset if I don't make soup.

imaima

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:49 am

pause wrote:

I am sorry, but they are traditional because Jews couldn't afford any better food in shtetl. the traditional food of sefardim is much more diverse. So why would we want to hold back to the days when we lived in utter poverty and often illiteracy? Why not thank Hashem and honor his day with things that we, thank G-d, CAN afford?

Frumdoc

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 11:08 am

I consider a simple but well presented and nutritious meal to be the ideal.

If that is a meze of salads and fish followed by homemade chicken soup, with a fruit salad for desert, and is enjoyed by the participants, with dibur Torah and pleasant intercourse, why on earth would anyone find that not shabbosdik?

We usually have grilled chicken on shabbos, but we don't eat red meat and only eat fish, no chicken except for leftovers, the rest of the week. And we certainly never have two courses during the week - a normal meal is a hearty bowl of soup. I guess we live a "poorer" lifestyle than all the rich people eating steak every day.

I don't really understand why people are so focused on the external appearances as their only definition of shabbosdik and not appreciating the spiritual or concept of withdrawing from the incessant cycle of activity.

A five course meal which leaves you uncomfortably full and a marathon of preparations and clearing up is not my idea of shabbos bliss. A simple but delicious meal with some fancy styling, accompanied by good conversation and singing, then followed by a stroll and a hot mint tea is my idea of Friday night heaven.

greenfire

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 11:14 am

so we went from fashion to food ... I rarely cook all that stuff ... if it's soup - it's soup ... if it's chicken it has a side ... we eat fish & salad during the day ... jews should be aware that there is no mitzva to waste food - in fact it's quite the opposite

I don't stick to the same menu week in & week out for however many weeks of the year there are [is it 52 or 53 - I guess it's age related Cool

] - cause that would just be boring

Chayalle

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 11:28 am

imaima wrote:

My family LOVES the Shabbos food. If I would switch the menu, there would be trouble. I would have to blame it on you, imaima.....

That being said, I gotta hand it to the Sephardim....my DD went to camp with a large Sephardic presence, and she LOVES their food. We tease her that she will marry a Sephardi. She said every Friday their mothers would bring them pans of Mazza. Kibbeh is her personal favorite. But I've heard it's really hard to make (ETA: and let's not discuss the calories...), so I have no plans of doing so.....

The closest we get is with the dips....

Chayalle

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 11:31 am

Raisin wrote:

sounds yum. But I've heard a lot of people say their family is full after the fish and soup so they stop there. (it does not seem to occur to lots of people to cut out the fish or soup instead)

If they prefer fish and soup to Grilled chicken, then that's their way of honoring the Shabbos.

My sister doesn't make soup in the summer....but my family would raise the roof if I did that. The soup is the highlight of their meal.