Does "EVERYONE" have an iPhone?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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FranticFrummie

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 6:11 am

DD, 11, insists that "everyone has an iPhone". She feels like a real neb because her phone only does calls, pictures, and texts.

I don't think she's ready for one, and I don't like her having such easy access to the internet. She's already getting into a lot of video games and wasting time she should be spending studying.

She has plenty of access to the home computer when I'm around and can supervise her, so it's not like she's being deprived of screen time. Right now, I think it's more that she wants to look cool in front of her friends.

imasinger

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 6:45 am

Yeah, sure.

And in 5 years, everyone will have a Ferrari, too.

My line to outrageous demands: "You're not 'everyone else', you're my beloved and precious child, and this is something I do not permit (or, depending on the demand, cannot afford)."

On some level, she already gets the concept. You posted elsewhere that she is willing to dress in a tzanua enough way. She keeps kosher and Shabbos. She gets that certain things that her public school friends have or do are gonna be off limits. This is one of them. The end.

tiredmommy

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 6:57 am

My kids dont. My son wants one but I am not giving in. I completely agree that it would be a big time waster and distraction!

the world's best mom

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 7:08 am

Nobody in my house has an iphone.

I even know a teenager who recently got an iphone as a birthday gift, and she was very nervous about accepting it and all the responsibility that comes along with it. I was happy that she was mature enough to see the dangers.

Basically, I see the internet as a Yetzer Hara. Yes, there is the potential to use it for good or neutral things, which is why I have it on my computer. Anything good or useful I need to do on the internet can be done while I am at my computer. However, the Yetzer Hara is always there telling me to use it to waste time. It often tells people to turn on things that are inappropriate. I have no desire to take that Yetzer Hara and stick it in my pocket so it can follow me everywhere I go.

chaya35

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 7:12 am

My sons principle once told my husband that if your kid comes home saying that "everyone" has it you should know that it is usually just one or two kids.

imaima

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 7:14 am

the world's best mom wrote:

I thought that was the responsibility oh owning a $500 device.

Iphone is not the only source of internet out there. There are also other smartphones, you know..

imasoftov

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 7:36 am

No, some of the phones in my family are Androids.

greenfire

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 7:46 am

not everyone has a cell phone ...

aquarius1

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 8:39 am

[quote="chaya35"]My sons principle once told my husband that if your kid comes home saying that "everyone" has it you should know that it is usually just one or two kids.[/quote

This is so true! Wink

Chayalle

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:24 am

It depends. With grade school kids, it's usually a handful that defines "everyone". Like "everyone is going to camp this summer" ended up being 5 kids out of 26.....

But as they get to their teen years, they tend to be more accurate, and it behooves you to find out if your child is the only neb, or if their statements are close to reality.

Notsobusy

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 9:58 am

Chayalle wrote:

So true. When my daughter first asked for a cell phone I was really surprised to hear that a lot of her classmates had them. But then I asked other mothers in her class and I was told they definitely do.

Chayalle

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:06 am

glutenless wrote:

Same experience.

MamaBear

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:12 am

I didn't notice the section this was in and thought you meant adults, and still my answer would have been no. But for an 11 yr old it's laughable. Of course not....not sure where you live but in my 5th grader's class only one kid even has a phone and it's not an iPhone! hello, the cost?!?

Last edited by MamaBear on Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:20 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:19 am

The answer is simply no, no one in my family has an iphone.

ValleyMom

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:33 am

YES- All inhabitants of planet Earth are required to stay connected via iPhone.
LOL

ValleyMom

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 10:36 am

Although my children receive their first phone when they attend high school.
I teach so they have always been in my vicinity in case of emergencies.
As teens I felt I needed a way for us to stay connected.

Our youngest received a very basic, no bells & whistles, disposable phone when he started attending summer classes on a college campus. There was NO way he was going to be at a HUGE college campus without a way for us to find each other.

Scrabble123

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 11:00 am

Well, there are some areas where "everyone has an iPhone," but I have no idea if that's the case where you are. (Also, I'm not saying that it's the best idea for young children to have them or any phone FTM, just stating that there are areas where most children have iPhones.)

amother

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 12:14 pm

I teach in junior high. I also do carpool for one of my students. We have a 30-45 minute commute. When we when she was in the 6th grade she started bringing an ipod into the car to listen to music (mainly non-jewish) so she didnt need to hear the other kids fight, scream, uncle moishy, etc. She is the oldest child in the carpool.

The ipod changed from ipod to ipod later generation and then to an ipod touch then to an iphone this year.

When it first started I was okay with it because I get the music thing, if it was a walkman no one would bat an eye. I warned her that I wont tell anyone in school about it as long as I dont see it in school. Right now I feel like someone pulled a bag over my eyes. I am so uncomfortable with her using it in my car. She calls her friends who she just left 5 minutes ago from school.

I am upset at them for putting me in this situation where I probably should be telling the school on her but I wont because I had given her my word.

In our house we have a computer, laptop, kindle, ipad, and 2 iphones. My son asked if he could get an ipod touch or his own ipad for his birthday. I asked him why the house ipad isnt enough and he said cause its not mind. I asked him if he thinks he would have complete access to his ipod/ipad. He said yes. I said you wouldnt it would be kept in my possession and you would have to ask permission to use it.

I dont believe children have the ability to know when enough is enough or where the line is.

edited to add: I do think that at least another 5 kids in the grade of the girl have an iphone, and that at least another 15 have ipod type products

little_mage

Fri, Mar 20 2015, 12:17 pm

My phone only does calls, text and pictures. And I'm twice her age.

Hadassah231

Mon, Apr 06 2015, 4:59 pm

If you do decide to allow an iphone (or any other type of smartphone), I'm pretty sure you can put a coded access restriction on the browsers via the settings. I know you can do it on other programmes since I had to block the apple store when my credit card bill arrived and I found my 4 1/2 year old had bought a slew of Care Bear games. I didn't mind the games, but the unfettered access to my iTunes account funding was a little disconcerting.

This doesn't mean I'm necessarily advocating all children should have iphones, but it's somewhat of a concession. That said, why bother with an iphone if you can't use it for browsing. Without google maps I'd be lost 24/7. It is good for pictures though, if you have a shutterbug.

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