If you didnt have to, would you still work?

morah

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 10:42 am

I would continue to work, but only part time.

amother

Babypink

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 10:53 am

I know that I do really little amounts of chessed because I am working and because I have little kids. I think I would probably not work but help out the community through chessed programs.

I am more productive if I have a full plate so I would have to fill my time with things other than work but I dont think I would WORK if I didnt have to.

I would exercise everyday, make good meals for my family, and help the community.

iluvjerusalem

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 11:06 am

No, I don't think I would. My job is challenging and I'm good at it, but its also very high pressure and a lot of hours, and there's no way to do it and get around that. Maybe I'd try switching gears though, I paint as a hobby, maybe I'd work on making that into a business.

Lilibet

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 11:19 am

DH and I faced that choice, twice. First time, when the second baby came, we decided that I would stay home and we would live on a very small income. We had student loans to repay, and were trying to save downpayment money. I worked free-lance, mornings only. Paid a friend (kollel-wife) to watch my babies mornings (with the agreement that if hers or mine were sick, I'd take the mornign off) Earned bubkas for years. No real expectation of doing much better financially (for either DH or me) but I was able to be a full-time Mom.

Second time we faced this choice, Kids were teens and we had each been able to achieved a degree of success and a more than comfortable income. I could have taken a regular job with regular demands. But we looked at each other and thought, why? We had the privilege of my being able not only to make Shabbos and yom tov lovely, but to take advantage of travel opportunities as a couple and as a family. Why ditch that for a demanding job.

Downside is, without financial need, I am often less productive than I was when on a tight budget. (here I am enjoying writing this post when I could be, you know, earning money) Turned down an attractive gig last week, it didn't seem worth the effort. At 22, I would have leapt at it, even though it was hard to work while tending babies.

Got a phone call from one of my kids last week. Just out of grad school and into full-time employment, as spouse already was. 3 little ones. Good professions, good incomes. And because we were able to help them, our kids to started life free of student debt and with substantial funds of downpayment money for houses. (A far cry form how their father and I began - and I do think it is good that the older ones remember how very modestly we lived when they were small)

The twenty-something who phoned, facing the reality of juggling 2 jobs & 3 kids for the first time (kids were born while still in school) was phoning to thank me for having given the gift of full-time parenting. Confronted with a realization of how little face time kids have with their 2-job parents, it became clear for the first time how much they had benefited from stay-at-home mothering.

Every choice, every situation is different, of course. Just thought I'd share.

rising hero

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 11:26 am

I would. If I had a job that I like it wouldn't be work...and of course I'd be able to have help at home.

Shani88

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 11:33 am

I would not work if I didn't have to but I would participate in chessed programs like partners and torah and go to weekly shiurim and Tehillim groups to force me to get dressed and socialize with other adults. I would also host guests more than I do now. Oh what a dream that would be.

Fox

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 12:05 pm

Definitely, though I might do more pro bono work and/or cut back my hours. I'd also probably spend more time on hobbies, classes, etc.

Or I might tell myself I was going to do all that and really just fritter away all my time on Imamother.

amother

Azure

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 12:30 pm

Probably something VERY part time but I doubt I'll be in that position. I also mean in a case where I have a house, comfortably take care of all family needs and have retirement taken care of and enough for plenty of charity. If I found something I absolutely loved may do it a little more full time. I don't see myself as a stay at home mother at all. I need structure to my day and haven't figured out how to do things with my kid yet.

Stars

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 1:04 pm

Very part time and only if my youngest was ready for school.

Chayalle

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 1:07 pm

I wouldn't. I actually love keeping house, and if I had spare time beyond that I would volunteer at my kids' schools or other community functions.

musicmom

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 1:07 pm

No!!!

causemommysaid

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 1:28 pm

If I were wealthy I would hire amazing help to clean, cook, nanny, and run all my errands, shopping, and other odds and ends jobs . Then I would work from 10-3 Monday through Thursday in a field that I love and hang out with my kids and go to the spa and on vacation the rest of the time. It would be a very nice life.

eschaya

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 1:41 pm

I would without a doubt, but only part time. And I'd be able to afford cleaning help so that would help make things effortless. I've found that I'm a much better mother when I take time to be a successful adult first. Still, with enough money I could afford to wait for the perfect job with hours that allow me to be mostly home when my kids are.

spring13

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 2:20 pm

I'd have to do something. My dream would be to work in a living history museum, they usually pay very little - or are nowhere near frum communities. I'd probably end up looking for something part-time in a library or museum, and spend a lot of my non-work time gardening and making/preserving homemade food.

cs1

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 3:19 pm

Yes!!!
I need to get out of the house and feel a sense of accomplishment in something other than raising my kids, making dinner and cleaning my house. I do work part time and can take off whenever I need to so im very lucky. I am home to pick up my kids from school and can always arrange my own hours. This is one perk about being the boss.

if I had a lot of money I would open up a school - but till that happens I will continue to direct our summer camp Smile

zaq

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 4:59 pm

For sure. Probably part time, possibly as a volunteer, definitely on my own terms, but work I would. Otherwise I would spend all day eating junk food in front of the new idiot box aka computer screen, and putter my plants to death.

mille

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 5:34 pm

Even if we were billionaires, I would still work. Not for money, but because I pride myself in what I do, and it's very important to me.

smss

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 5:52 pm

I've thought about this a lot, and my current answer is: no, I would homeschool.

MrsMarmite

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 6:43 pm

Yes, probably - but I wouldn't call it 'work' b/c it would be doing something fun that gets me out of the house. I'd also love to do courses on graphology or other fun topics that have no use in the real world (at least in my current not-rich life~!)

Fave

Wed, Mar 25 2015, 7:46 pm

Yes - but I would get more housekeeping help. I'll also be more liberal with taking vacation days- not having to worry about using up my paid personal days.