Being asked to take your shoes off

imasinger

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 7:06 am

amother wrote:

This has nothing to do with shoes and everything to do with rudeness. Yelling and insults are never acceptablef. But having a no shoes policy is perfectly reasonable. I am part Asian and in that side of my family's country of origin, everyone takes off their shoes as soon as they enter a home. A host provides guests with slippers so no one is walking around barefoot. I grew up this way (in America, but my family keeps this tradition) and do it in my own home. A lot of people find it interesting, but respect my rules because it is my house.

This, especially the bolded.

It's a cultural thing, but no culture allows for rudeness to guests.

I have plantar fasciitis, and need inserts for my feet, or at least well padded slippers. When someone has a no shoes rule, I apologize and tell them of my condition, and offer to wipe down and dry off my soles if they don't have guest slippers.

In my own house, it's laissez faire. My kids hate shoes and socks, and ditch them ASAP. I and DH prefer to always wear shoes, and slippers or crocs at night.

My policy is, if you have snowy or muddy stuff, please take it off. Otherwise, make yourself at home.

Raisin

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 7:10 am

Op, you do realise you give a lot of identifying information. Anyone who lives in your brothers city (which you mention) and knows they just bought a house, plus the other details you give about them, could put two and two together.

Maybe take out the name of the city.

amother

Forestgreen

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 7:22 am

sequoia wrote:

Um, that's not why. It's because it's gross to wear shoes indoors.

I find it infinitely more gross to be asked to wear a pair of communal slippers. And the thought of random men's sweaty socks in my carpet is horrifying.

My neighbor makes people do this and they've ended up with not many people entering their house. Although I'm fairly certain that's part of the point.

imaima

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 7:34 am

the world's best mom wrote:

I would not be comfortable taking off my shoes. I never walk around barefoot, because the floor is disgusting, even in homes where no shoes are allowed. People remove their shoes and walk around in sweaty socks, leaving wet footprints. I don't want their sweat on my feet or my socks. And then I would put my shoes back on and get their sweat into my shoes. And I certainly wouldn't wear slippers that have been worn by others before.

I guess if I knew I was going to a shoe-less home, I would try to bring along my own slippers to wear there. But luckily I have never had this experience in my neighborhood.

I find it much morw disgusting to have sand and dirt from the outside that people bring on their shoes. I have never seen anyone's socks leaving wet footprints on the floor, and anyway the floor is big enough for you to not step in other people's footprints. I think it is just bizarre, frankly speaking you handle casj and touch stuff in public places, and you worry about someone else's sweat on thw soles of your socks? Why would you assume they even have sweaty feet? And you don't eat off the soles of your socks too...

33055

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 8:13 am

Raisin wrote:

Raisin,

I think that is the point. OP is angry and I believe she hopes it gets back to her family that they were rude and controlling. There is way too much info here unless she is sending a message.

33055

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 8:17 am

Slip on covers for shoes similar to those Drs use in the OR solves everyone's concerns. I keep a box here for when workers come.

I don't ask grownups to take off their shoes. It is not done where I live.

staten islander

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 9:27 am

We have a no shoe policy and I offer a choice of either slippers(which I wash after people wear them) or going barefoot.We do this for hygienic reasons.Dogs pee outside, do I want that in my house? Incidentally, if you are an allergy sufferer, changing your clothing and shoes indoors will help reduce symptoms.
I also ask my kids to change when they get home.In school ,they sit on the floor in their uniforms,go on the playground,etc. I don't want them lounging on the beds in those clothes.

Barbara

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 9:30 am

Raisin wrote:

Why? Unless you eat your food off the floor. Do you never go outside, or have picnics outside? I might find it gross to wear someone else slippers to be honest. (I never have) I understand that some people don't want flooring to get ruined but there is nothing unhygenic about wearing shoes inside.

I dislike not wearing shoes, my feet feel cold.

What she said. Well, actually, I'm always barefoot at home, but I wouldn't feel comfortable walking around others's homes that way.

No way on earth I'm putting on a pair of slippers that someone else wore. I wouldn't even be thrilled with a pair of freshly laundered socks.

It's a FLOOR. Its intended to have people's shoes, or feet, on it. To be clean, of course, but not so clean that you'd actually eat off it.

In any case, whatever the cultural expectations, OP's brother and SIL were rude, telling OP that she doesn't know how to clean (ie, that her home is dirty) was just plain nasty. She was right to leave.

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 10:30 am

I don't wear shoes at home. I don't insist that my guest take off their shoes because I don't want to make them uncomfortable but I appreciate it when they do and when they don't I clean up after them. The people who leave their shoes by the door tend to have clean floors anyway, so it doesn't bother me and I would eat off my floor, it is pretty clean. My crawling baby does so it has to be very clean

MrsDash

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 11:23 am

As long as their home is clean, I wouldn't mind. I don't wear shoes in my house. It's not strictly for sanitary reasons, it's actually healthier for your feet to breathe, and not be confined to shoes all day. This only applies if I'm wearing socks or tights. I wouldn't feel comfortable walking around barefoot in an acquaintances home. If given fair warning, so that I can bring a pair of socks along, I'm okay with the idea.

amother

Pewter

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 12:00 pm

My son, the rabbi, was asked to take off his shoes when entering someone's home to read the megillah for them on Purim. And it wasn't even new carpeting. And the worst part of it is, that DH told my son afterwards you are not even permitted to read the megillah barefoot.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 1:09 pm

I have lousy circulation, so my feet are always freezing cold. I also need arch support, and without shoes my back would be killing me. Wearing someone else's slippers (how do I know if they've been washed or not without asking and seeming rude?) is just creepy to me. I don't want to get anyone's funky toe fungus, thank you.

What do you do if you get invited out on Shabbos, and you can't carry your own slippers or socks with you? Fortunately, everyone I go to wears shoes in the house, so this hasn't been a problem for me yet. I am always super careful to wipe my feet extra times before I come into anyone's home.

Another option would be to have a box of baby wipes and a waste basket in the entry hall. You could ask people to wipe down the bottoms of their shoes before they come in. I think that's a reasonable compromise.

Blessing1

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 1:24 pm

I would feel stupid asking people to take their shoes off & I would be uncomfortable if someone asks me to do it. I think it's quite rude. If the floor got dirty, wash it after the guests leave.

amother

Crimson

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 1:31 pm

Blessing1 wrote:

I would feel stupid asking people to take their shoes off & I would be uncomfortable if someone asks me to do it. I think it's quite rude. If the floor got dirty, wash it after the guests leave.

This

amother

Copper

Thu, Apr 23 2015, 1:31 pm

amother wrote:

He could've asked for slippers and mention that it's not permitted.. We had someone come for same reason and asked to them remove shoes cuz it was well snowing out side !! And there little babies crawling on the floor..