buying expensive clothes for kids that ruin it....

Bitachon101

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 2:21 am

I have boys.
I generally don't buy them expensive clothes except once or twice I'll be stuck when trying to get yom tov clothes.
But the price tags make me wonder... Isn't it insane to spend more than $10 on an outfit that your son might ruin in his first wearing. I finally found a pair of shabbos pants that fit ds just right for not even so expensive, in the 20s, and he skinned the knee on the first wearing. Boy was I glad it wasn't a $60 outfit.
But reality peeps.... My boys aren't the wildest of boys at all (tho they may get an A at klutziness tx to some coordination challenges here and there) but point is.... How do all u crazy moms spend money on nice clothes for ur kids... Don't they ruin them so fast???
I can't do it. It hurts when I do it! ( not just my bank account but my conscience!) Yet it seems to be the norm to spend through the roof on kids clothes in Jewish stores (and some non Jewish ones too!)
And I almost throw up when I see a 12 month shirt is $60. Especially cuz the material is so delicate I prob will never be able to get that first stain out!
And I know that he will outgrow it before the next yom tov.

I'm just rambling but I seriously don't get the society we live in.
Boys shabbos pants should be tops $10. I can't afford to keep buying new ones.
Nice outfits shouldn't be more than $40 ever! Its just not fair to us moms! And yet the crazy mommy world keeps on buying.
Hopeless I guess.
I'll never win.
I guess I'll just have to swallow it.

imaima

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 3:52 am

Don't try to find logic. I buy nice expensive clothes because I like it. They are allowed to ruin them, and I was fully prepared when I bought it.
I am not rich, but it gives me nachas to buy nice clothes for me kids regardless of costs. I know millionaires who dress their kids in h&m final sale and use cheapest buggies.

Raisin

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 4:32 am

I try and buy slightly more expensive trousers for boys, so they don't rip as easily. (I get cheaper tshirts, shirts, pjs etc)

I also enjoy buying nice clothes for my kids but obviously prefer to get them as cheaply as possible. I would get just as much nachas out of a $30 cute dress as out of a $80 dress. I am often forced to spend more on tznius girls clothing then I would like since there is so little choice. Especially shabbos clothing. I will definitely get darker more durable prints when I can. My daughter ripped the shabbos skirt I bought her first time wearing it, so I returned it. It was from an expensive store known for durable good quality childrens clothing and I would not expect that from their clothing. She was not doing anything out of the ordinary.

imaima

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 5:40 am

Raisin wrote:

Sure, this is something else. I would be more willing to spend 80$ on an item for an older child than for a younger, too.
I also invest in boys pants with knee pads and high quality snaps and buttons, so they really last.

saw50st8

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 7:34 am

I don't buy expensive clothing, but the better brands of clothing I have bought definitely last longer. I have 3 boys and 1 girl and so far everything is passing down from the oldest to the youngest with no problems (and then some things still on to my nephew).

I try to buy more durable shabbos clothing that washes and unwrinkles easily. I love Lands End pants and buy them on sale.

For my daughter, quality is not as important because shes the only one wearing it.

watergirl

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 7:40 am

Why shouldnyou have to "swallow it"? I buy my son the cheapest shabbos pants I can find. Hes 6 and he plays all day! Man and a truck pants are about $12 and wash and dry like a dream. I buy a bit more expensive ($15ish) for my older boys. Anyone who looking closely enough at my boys pants to see the difference in the quality should be locked up.

morah

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 7:53 am

I find the cheapest ones are the ones that rip the most easily. Boys abuse their pants, it's worth it(especially with more than one boy) to spend a little more on pants that will last. However, that only goes so far. Higher price means higher quality only to a certain point (like still under $30). Really, this is true of all clothes both children's and adults- it is worthwhile to spend a little more for quality, but after a certain point, you are paying for prestige and a status symbol.

33055

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 10:24 am

amother wrote:

Why do you have to swallow what other people buy? How does it affect you?

It affects us because it becomes the standards of the community. In my community there is more disposable income than there otherwise would be because of government benefits so $80 baby Shabbos pants can be the norm.

Ones status becomes a function of what they spend on clothing. I wore a new Shabbos outfit last week. I was asked multiple times how much I paid for my skirt. This is not normal nor is it the way I want to live. I don't discuss money on Shabbos. What does what I paid for my skirt have anything at all to do with Shabbos?

This obsession with conspicuous consumption is ridiculous. Comments have been made to me when I do dress my kids (and myself) in H & M. First came the compliments. Next came the inevitable question as to which brand? Then next came the comments like I could do better. Excuse me you liked until you found out it was $15.95.

Notsobusy

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 10:35 am

tigerwife wrote:

You can also be like a friend of mine who yelled at her daughter for jumping in her Shabbos shoes. Actually, please don't.

A couple of years ago the frum shoe stores in Lakewood put out a joint ad in the local publications, stating that they take no responsibility for any issues with the shoes they sell and that they are not meant as play shoes. Except that these are the shoes they're selling as school shoes, kids play by recess. Besides, in 2015, how many kids come home and change into play clothing and shoes? If you're selling shoes for over $100, you better stand behind it. Or else offer cheaper brands for the kids to actually wear, not just look at.

I almost never buy shoes in frum stores, the few times I did, they fell apart much faster then the shoes we buy for $20-40 in the non Jewish stores.

OOTforlife

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 10:48 am

I don't buy expensive baby clothes. But if I did, I would take pictures of the baby in each new outfit immediately after dressing it. Then, I would be much less nervous about it getting ruined afterward. I do this with the outfits I think are really cute already, even though they're not expensive. Unless it's Shabbos or YT obviously.

PinkFridge

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 10:50 am

amother wrote:

Why do you have to swallow what other people buy? How does it affect you?

That's a good question. And let me start off by saying that it seems easier to buy boys' clothes than girls'.
Here's an answer to your question: kids can't be totally different than their peers. It was a LOT easier when my kids were younger. I could get away with buying them a few of the weekday "it" skirts per year. There reached a point where we would also get the occasional Shabbos outfit from the local vendor.
Weekday is still somewhat easier, though shoes are becoming an issue. But as for Shabbos, even if you can find Children's Place or H&M stuff, and when they get older add Marshalls et al to the mix, there's still the accessories. The situation has changed greatly. I'm glad that the wives of some bnei Torah are making an honorable parnasa, and for all I know they do a fair amount of chesed too with their businesses, but the standards they are a'changing.

As for the little kids who still ruin clothes, there's no way I would spend big bucks.

Simple1

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 11:29 am

glutenless wrote:

Shabbos shoes I always buy cheaper and the quality is fine.

But every time I tried to do that with weekday shoes, I was buying shoes a few times a year besides for the shoes being what they called "nebby". When I finally gave in and bought Venettinnis, and the shoes lasted very nicely, as long as I stayed away from shoes that have embellishments that break, such as bows and ankle bands, or those bands that can get dirty.

Simple1

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 11:32 am

With clothing, I try as much as possible to get better quality clothing at sale or closeout prices. You can for sure even do that in Jewish stores half way through the season - like now- there are great sales.

I think also it's not about the price - you can look at the item and try to see if it looks like it will wear well. Some expensive stuff end up being junk, and some cheap stuff end up being great.

Bitachon101

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 1:32 pm

How does it affect me??
Because everyone willing to pay crazy prices so the stores sell at crazy prices!!
And mind you, my point is that the price isn't necessarily indicative of the quality. The store wants you to think it is but its often not.
I've bought a few more expensive stuff that got ruined so fast with threads coming out.
But even so a basics shabbos pants.... Costs in $20 range but literally first wear the knee got skinned. A $10 pair would have made me a lot less annoyed. Someone mentioned she gets cheaper boys pants somewhere.... Please tell me where... It seems basics in the Jewish stores start in the $20 range.

And to those who know its ridiculous but buy cuz they like to.... That's insanity at its best. Hope u don't remind me referring to u guys as the crazy moms that make us all stuck having to deal with ridiculous kids clothes prices.

To the mom who said she hopes I let my kids play in shabbos shoes.... I'm not insane (OK maybe I am but I'm practical for the most part) so yes of course I let them play but I don't let them go in the mud with them. I also don't buy them white shoes that would be killed in a second.

Though I was frustrates that the only shoes my 15 month old fit into were $90 (wide flat fat baby feet with instep) and of course his third wearing he made a hole in the toe while dragging his feet on a riding toy.... Go figure. So much for his expensive shoes. I let him wear them with the little toe hole cut he will just get a new one in five min if I buy another one!

Maya

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 1:45 pm

Every time a friend or neighbor of mine complains how their sons have ripped their $100 suit pants, I point out that my kids are wearing $10 shirts and pants from H&M. They never ruin anything anyway, but I'd still rather not buy expensive clothes even if I can afford it.