buying expensive clothes for kids that ruin it....

Bitachon101

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 1:53 am

I call it insane, cuz the store owners see the demand is there... And then sell almost all kids clothes at insane prices cuz they know you'll buy it. And those of us that are practical end up suffering and gawking.
I have plenty of stores around town and not much time to check them all out but most seem to carry basics never on sale and carry kids clothes at ridiculous prices.
I get all my kids weekday stuff online, or at Walmart Target for a few bucks a piece and they hold up much better than some of the shabbos stuff I've gotten in the expensive stores....
My cute little white shabbos shorts that stain and snag and couldn't find except for at a higher price than I would have liked lasted only a few wearings....
The cheap stuff held up through the mud.

I like to buy cute stuff too... Who doesn't love the oohs and aahs when ur babies look to kill but the prices just soar above my tiny little income and its greatly because the rest of the public falls for it and doesnt protest.

So yes, it does affect us when non-practical money spending moms go on the splurge... I'm not telling u what to do. I'm just urked by the concept of it all and hate the lack of practicality for the attention of whose kids are dressed best.

33055

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 8:25 am

mommy2b2c wrote:

First of all, you can think it's foolish just as long as long as you don't complain that others do it. I also think it's somewhat foolish. I admitted that from the start. I said that I do it because I enjoy it, and that it's just as foolish as any other luxury. Second if all, obviously if you have no money, then it's insane. But why is it insane if you can afford it?
And who says I don't have money in the bank and security?

The overwhelming majority of the people who talk about dressing their young kids in expensive clothes can't afford it. When you can afford things, they are a non event and not discussed.

I hate with a passion when someone will show me her "three thousand dollar necklace". I especially hate when her house is in foreclosure. Why not just show your pretty necklace?

BTW there is a strong correlation between financial difficulties and conspicuous consumption. If the whole community would stop with this nonsense, then people would stop loving in edge.

fmt4

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 8:31 am

It is insane to spend a lot of money on things that will not be appreciated or taken care of. If your husband bought you an expensive dress, and then made you wear it so that he could impress the neighbors even though you had zero interest and then you ran around in the dirt and puddles in it and dripped ices on it - wouldn't you say that it was pointless and odd for him to send so much money on something that would get ruined and was unappreciated just so that other people would think that you looked cute?

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 9:07 am

Squishy wrote:

But I said right away, that it is an insane thing to do if you have no money. If you can afford it, it's like any other luxury. People still called me insane.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 9:09 am

fmt4 wrote:

Who says it's it's unappreciated? When I dress up my children, I appreciate it very much. That's why I do it. It's Avery big enjoyment for me.

bnm

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 10:03 am

I typed a long response and walked away before posting and my kid replaced it with 250 Ls...

basically you don't put your kid on 80 dollar shoes to sit on a riding toy with or go on a scooter, thats what crocs are for. Same for 20+ dollar shabbos pants, they are meant to be worn for occasions and changed out of if the kid is going to be rolling in mud. I got my son a shabbos outfit in a local store, he put it on Friday night and refused to get out of it, its Sunday morning and I have to peel it off him soon. Dosn't look that bad. 1 or 2 grape juice stains, creased but thats it. He didn't roll in the mud. He went to the park and rode his scooter.

Iymnok

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 10:18 am

Children's clothes I consider disposable. A car, most furniture, a house, my clothes I consider investments. And I spend accordingly.
Children's clothes will be outgrown and often stained or ruined within a few months. What spend the money there? If I want a cute outfit I accessorize. The special accessories are stored out of reach.

amother

Beige

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 11:21 am

Bitachon101 wrote:

With some effort on your part you can get very stylish kids' clothes for good prices. H&M, Gap kids, Zara kids, even Crewcuts when they go on sale...there's no need to even look at those local stores!

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 12:20 pm

Iymnok wrote:

You're right. There is no reason to spend it there. Except if you actually want to! And you can afford to!

Notsobusy

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 12:29 pm

amother wrote:

I thought the same at first, but maybe OP doesn't have a car and there's only 1 store in her neighborhood...and she doesn't use credit cards so can't shop online. Then she is actually forced to pay the prices the mothers in her neighborhood set by demand

Case in point, my sister. She has a large family and not a lot of money. Her and her husband both work, so between the working and the large family, she doesn't have the time to shop around in the non-Jewish stores and hope she'll find something. She also doesn't have internet access because, she's in Lakewood and it's not allowed. She's pretty much stuck shopping in the local stores where she knows she'll find what she needs pretty quickly. She's not looking for her kids to fit a certain standard, she just wants clothes and shoes that fit and look decent and are not too expensive. Unfortunately the not too expensive doesn't really exist locally. Whenever possible she shops sales, but kids needs don't always go to according to sale schedules.

There are many, many people like her around, who are stuck paying the high prices because the stores feel they can get away with it.

fmt4

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 12:37 pm

mommy2b2c wrote:

Who says it's it's unappreciated? When I dress up my children, I appreciate it very much. That's why I do it. It's Avery big enjoyment for me.

You're missing the point. It's unappreciated by them. Just like if your husband got it for you cuz he likes u looking cute but you couldn't care less and got it dirty and outgrew it in a few months - eventually he would stop spending huge amounts of money on it.

amother

Beige

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 12:47 pm

mommy2b2c wrote:

You're right. There is no reason to spend it there. Except if you actually want to! And you can afford to!

I happen to like spending $ in other areas but ITA. I'm confused by this thread and why people are meddling into what other people spend on

amother

Beige

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 12:56 pm

fmt4 wrote:

We had a similar thread a while back. Most mothers who spend on their kids' clothes openly agreed that it was for them, not for the children who don't know the difference.
If you're saying every penny and all your belongings are accounted for and used to the fullest extent and the idea of waste personally offends you, ok. Teach me please Very Happy

But telling people what to waste their money on comes out jealous.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 3:12 pm

fmt4 wrote:

No. Your missing the point. I dont do it for them. I do it for ME.

amother

Ruby

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 3:38 pm

should I sum up the thread-some pple personally like how their kids look in those clothing, some pple are doing it to impress others, some pple do it because their community expects and their children will be viewed as nebach otherwise and some pple do it because that's what the local stores stock.

mommy2b2c-I often really enjoy your posts and you present as someone who is secure in herself irrespective of other people's opinions, unfortunately many are not- I think that is where the disconnect lies. When you (general you) feel like you always have to " fit in" and live in such a community, even people who can't afford to spend the money do and that's an issue. May be (definitely!) more focus should be spent on teaching pple that no not everyone is the same but no one asked me...

yes this applies to all luxuries not just expensive kids clothing...

not sure if I missed fox's expected post on wealth...

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 6:24 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks!

fmt4

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 8:39 pm

mommy2b2c wrote:

No. Your missing the point. I dont do it for them. I do it for ME.

I understand that. And I'm demonstrating how spending money on dressing up someone else for YOU is silly, and shouldn't be equated with spending money on other luxuries that you may get enjoyment out of. It's in a different category, because it's not logical.

5mom

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 8:59 pm

fmt4 wrote:

I disagree. How is it different from decorating your house? As it happens, I think it's wasteful to dress small children in expensive clothing. But I'm sure that there are things that I spend money on that other people don't think are valuable. Who cares?

It only matters when you start assigning value - as in, mothers who dress their children in expensive clothing are "classy" (whatever that means) and mothers who shop at Target are somehow inferior.

If I like to set a nice table and serve meals on fancy dishes all the time, that doesn't make a statement, it's just a personal preference.

Yes, I think that there is such a thing as conspicuous consumption, and it's not attractive. But we can rant about it or ignore it. If we ignore it, then people are less likely to try to impress the neighbors. There will always be people who value fancy clothing. If they are spending their own money, let them buy what they want. It's up to the rest of us to see it as a matter of taste, and not as a challenge.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 9:51 pm

fmt4 wrote:

And I think it's silly that you spend money on your sons tuba lessons. And I think it's silly that you redid your bathroom for the third time in four years. And I think it's silly that you send to a private school that charges $30,000 tuition. And I think it's silly that your husband drives a Porsche.

Realistically, all gashmius is silly and illogical. Who is fmt4 to decide which one is the silliest of them all?

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jun 07 2015, 9:54 pm

5mom wrote:

Btw, I buy plenty in target too. Pajamas, school clothes, bathing suits, beach towels... It's all adorable because I have good taste! Wink