Asking housekeeper to dress modestly

imamom7

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:03 pm

I had a housekeeper come last Friday- she was good and spoke English but she was wearing a low tank top with her cleavage showing...(trashy looking) ..I was not comfortable with it in my home. I want opinions can I text/call her and say "this is a religious home and I would really appreciate if you would dress more modestly - I don't care about pants or a tee but that was too much - should I specify a higher neckline etc- please give me input- I'm dreading this- but if not I can't keep her...

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:08 pm

I think it is really rude to tell someone how to to dress unless it is completely inappropriate. If she wore the tank to business meeting it wouldn't be rude to tell her, not okay. If she wore a bikini to your house, it wouldn't be rude to tell her not okay. A tank is appropriate attire to clean someone's home, so yes, it would be rude in my opinion.

amother

Pink

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:09 pm

I have DH tell them to dress more modestly. My friend has a uniform she has them put on. Another friend has them wear a smock.

octopus

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:13 pm

amother wrote:

I have DH tell them to dress more modestly. My friend has a uniform she has them put on. Another friend has them wear a smock.

you have your dh tell the cleaning woman to dress more modestly??? Talk about s-exsual harassment!

amother

Pink

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:22 pm

octopus wrote:

you have your dh tell the cleaning woman to dress more modestly??? Talk about s-exsual harassment!

You've got to be kidding me! He isn't telling them to take off their clothes. He is telling them that to work in our house, they must cover their breasts and their tush. No shorts or low tanks.

If he is s-exually harassing them, her is doing a bad job.

shoshana2

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:22 pm

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking a housekeeper to dress modestly.
Any fast food restaurant has a uniform and this is a job like any other.
Why would I want a immodestly dressed woman in my own home? I wouldn't bring in a magazine that had pictures of immodestly dressed women in my home.
Why would I let a live woman prance around my house in front of my sons and husband with cleavage showing?
It would not be fair to them and would not respect the sanctity of my home.
I provide my housekeeper with a modest button down apron that she is happy to wear while she is working and love the modest atmosphere in my home.

Ema of 5

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:25 pm

As an employer you definitely have a right to ask your employees to dress a certain way. Doesn't matter if you are a business or an individual hiring a cleaning lady. However there a re a few things.
1. As someone else said, getting your husband to do it can very well be misconstrued as harassment, and may also make her uncomfortable. It should really come from you.
2. You don't need to bring religion into it. All you need to say is "in the future I would appreciate it if you could wear clothing that is a little less revealing. T-shirts and jeans are ok, but please don't wear low cut shirts or tank tops."
3. Personally, if an employer was going to say something to me about the way I dress, I think I wuld rather it be face to face. That way there is no room for misunderstanding.

octopus

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:29 pm

amother wrote:

well then you are not familiar with what exactly encompasses se-zxual harassment. If a male tells a female employee to dress a certain way- even if it is to "cover up" more -yes, that is sesxual harassment.

Happy18

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:32 pm

octopus wrote:

This. It is a big problem in certain professions that women are dressing inappropriately and no one can tell them to cover up out of fear of being sued.

octopus

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:37 pm

Happy18 wrote:

This. It is a big problem in certain professions that women are dressing inappropriately and no one can tell them to cover up out of fear of being sued.

yes this is true. that is a separate topic. but I also think it is highly inappropriate for any male to tell any female how to dress. Telling ppl how to dress is an uncomfortable topic, so let it at least come from someone of the same gender.

sweetpotato

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:39 pm

amother wrote:

I have DH tell them to dress more modestly. My friend has a uniform she has them put on. Another friend has them wear a smock.

Why would you humiliate someone even further by having your husband tell her how to dress? (And if you're so concerned about modesty in your house, how on earth is it tznius for your husband to be talking to women?)

imamom7

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:39 pm

How's this? Hi I won't be home when you come but my husband will let you in and I'll come home in middle. I'll leave you a note on the table. Also I hope you don't mind, but being that this is a religious home, I would really appreciate if you would not wear shorts or tank tops. I don't mind if you bring something to change into here. Thank you so much!

sweetpotato

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:41 pm

shoshana2 wrote:

I wouldn't bring in a magazine that had pictures of immodestly dressed women in my home.
Why would I let a live woman prance around my house in front of my sons and husband with cleavage showing?
It would not be fair to them and would not respect the sanctity of my home.

Your cleaning woman prances around your house?

MagentaYenta

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:45 pm

imamom7 wrote:

Magenta- I never had this problem before

You cannot expect someone to meet your dress code without knowing about it. She's a cleaning lady not a mind reader.

mommy3b2c

Thu, Jul 09 2015, 9:49 pm

imamom7 wrote:

If you are going to do it, please don't bring religion into it! Maybe she is also very religous, and then you are really being insulting. Just say, I am very strict in regards to modesty. I would feel more comfortable if you wear long pants and sleeves.