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-> Parenting our children
happybeingamom
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 Thu, Aug 06 2015, 2:40 pm
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I love children, I always did
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amother
Lavender
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 3:20 pm
1a. my dh has a mitzvah of being fruitful and multiply. he cant do that on his own.
1b. this way yiddishkeit continues
2. children (and marriage) are a middos workshop which is why we were put into this world.
we are so entrenched in our way of life that we dont realize so many things. Before BC, a woman who didn't want kids, didn't get married (or didn't have relations). Having children is something natural, Hashem made it that way for many reasons - to populate the world to make a Kiddush Hashem, so their parents will become better people through the challenge of raising them and many other reasons. Years ago, they didn't have choice! We lost that understanding. That's why we have a thread like this.
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amother
Ivory
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 3:23 pm
Apparently some people are having children because foodstamps they can afford it
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amother
Mustard
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 3:24 pm
| amother wrote: | 1a. my dh has a mitzvah of being fruitful and multiply. he cant do that on his own.
1b. this way yiddishkeit continues
2. children (and marriage) are a middos workshop which is why we were put into this world.
we are so entrenched in our way of life that we dont realize so many things. Before BC, a woman who didn't want kids, didn't get married (or didn't have relations). Having children is something natural, Hashem made it that way for many reasons - to populate the world to make a Kiddush Hashem, so their parents will become better people through the challenge of raising them and many other reasons. Years ago, they didn't have choice! We lost that understanding. That's why we have a thread like this. |
Birth control is not new. Only in its current form. But women always had wAys.
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youngishbear
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 3:27 pm
| amother wrote: | 1a. my dh has a mitzvah of being fruitful and multiply. he cant do that on his own.
1b. this way yiddishkeit continues
2. children (and marriage) are a middos workshop which is why we were put into this world.
we are so entrenched in our way of life that we dont realize so many things. Before BC, a woman who didn't want kids, didn't get married (or didn't have relations). Having children is something natural, Hashem made it that way for many reasons - to populate the world to make a Kiddush Hashem, so their parents will become better people through the challenge of raising them and many other reasons. Years ago, they didn't have choice! We lost that understanding. That's why we have a thread like this. |
You can amend to "before modern effective methods of birth control... women's efforts at contraception were not that successful and they often got pregnant against their will and often died naturally in childbirth".
But do continue.
(I agree with what you write about the purpose of children and what good they bring.)
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amother
Emerald
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 4:25 pm
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To leave my imprint on this world. To leave a legacy behind after 120, a hemshech.
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amother
Amethyst
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 4:55 pm
| amother wrote: | 1a. my dh has a mitzvah of being fruitful and multiply. he cant do that on his own.
1b. this way yiddishkeit continues
2. children (and marriage) are a middos workshop which is why we were put into this world.
we are so entrenched in our way of life that we dont realize so many things. Before BC, a woman who didn't want kids, didn't get married (or didn't have relations). Having children is something natural, Hashem made it that way for many reasons - to populate the world to make a Kiddush Hashem, so their parents will become better people through the challenge of raising them and many other reasons. Years ago, they didn't have choice! We lost that understanding. That's why we have a thread like this. |
I agree with the first paragraph, I would say those are my reasons as well. Your second paragraph is ridiculous. BC (and also abortion) has existed for as long as pregnancy. From the beginning of existence, people have been coming up with ways to prevent or end pregnancies. Those methods were for the most part unreliable and often unsafe as well, but humankind has never stopped trying to improve on what they had. I've always hated the way frum society tries to paint the past as some mythical paradise. People faced the same pressures of having to support and care for their families- worse, even, because poverty was crushing and common, and simple things like childbirth were often deadly. You betcha not everyone wanted 15 kids!
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imaima
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 5:00 pm
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also, those who didnt want kids, didnt have sx?? really? just like that. I guess, those who had no money for food, also just didn't eat. That's how it used to work.
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gp2.0
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 5:20 pm
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Before the rise of feminism women had no choice about getting married and having s-x.
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mille
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 5:59 pm
I don't! Not yet at least! Why? Because we didn't want any kids yet. Because we can afford the luxury of birth control and enjoy a dual-income no-kids start to our wonderful marriage. Because you can never go back, once you have kids you'll always be parents, and we wanted to enjoy that time before it's gone forever.
And we'll have kids when we want them, and when we can bring them into the world with joy and happiness.
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Fiveboyz
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 6:04 pm
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Nice of all you but I hate hate hate my kids worst mistake of my life
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youngishbear
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 6:20 pm
| Fiveboyz wrote: | | Nice of all you but I hate hate hate my kids worst mistake of my life |
Please get help. You deserve to experience the joys of motherhood.
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Stars
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 6:23 pm
| Fiveboyz wrote: | | Nice of all you but I hate hate hate my kids worst mistake of my life |
Those poor kids 
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nywife
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 6:38 pm
| Fiveboyz wrote: | | Nice of all you but I hate hate hate my kids worst mistake of my life |
Why is that?
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amother
Plum
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 6:42 pm
| mille wrote: | I don't! Not yet at least! Why? Because we didn't want any kids yet. Because we can afford the luxury of birth control and enjoy a dual-income no-kids start to our wonderful marriage. Because you can never go back, once you have kids you'll always be parents, and we wanted to enjoy that time before it's gone forever.
And we'll have kids when we want them, and when we can bring them into the world with joy and happiness. |
Yay! I was beginning to think I was the only one 
We want kids, at some point. We want to first enjoy some time as just the two of us, put money in savings and I want to finish school. Also, I married young (I'm still young!) and I simply wasn't and still am not ready for the responsibilities of motherhood. With Gods help, at the right time, we will have kids but for right now we're content just us.
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Laiya
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 7:33 pm
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I've wanted to be a mommy for as long as I can remember. [shrugs]
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Fiveboyz
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 7:37 pm
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My situation is very complicated. I never thought I would find myself speaking these words. Each of my kids are destroying me and they purposely hurt me. Why did I have kids? Good questions my life is an experiment gone awry. It makes me so sad!
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MagentaYenta
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 7:41 pm
| gp2.0 wrote: | | Before the rise of feminism women had no choice about getting married and having s-x. |
Of course they had choices, they just had to pay the price for making those choices and swim against the stream if they survived.
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Barbara
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 7:59 pm
| amother wrote: | 1a. my dh has a mitzvah of being fruitful and multiply. he cant do that on his own.
1b. this way yiddishkeit continues
2. children (and marriage) are a middos workshop which is why we were put into this world.
we are so entrenched in our way of life that we dont realize so many things. Before BC, a woman who didn't want kids, didn't get married (or didn't have relations). Having children is something natural, Hashem made it that way for many reasons - to populate the world to make a Kiddush Hashem, so their parents will become better people through the challenge of raising them and many other reasons. Years ago, they didn't have choice! We lost that understanding. That's why we have a thread like this. |
Women always had a choice. There were always women who chose not to marry. There were always woman who at least tried not to have children.
I find it very sad that none of your reasons for having children relate to love and the joy of parenting. You talk about your husband. You talk about Judaism. You talk about yourself. Where do THEY come in the picture?
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tigerwife
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Thu, Aug 06 2015, 8:06 pm
What an interesting question. I really want to have children, and I simply cannot illustrate WHY. Can it be instinct?
You know what- I can't explain WHY I love my baby either. I loved her before I ever saw her. It's just innate.
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