What's a reasonable lunch for the cleaning lady?

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 1:52 pm

sky wrote:

I'm sorry, I thought it said she wanted fish because you had fish on your diet, I must have misunderstood.

If you really want you can buy the packages of pre-breaded tilapia or flounder and cook in the toaster oven.

Not sure were she would get the idea that would serve her sea bass.

That's my help. Different poster. Mine wants what I am eating. Today I am making ribs for supper and she wants them.

amother

Slategray

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 1:52 pm

If she was my lady I would fire her now. I don't believe I have to feed my cleaning lady. I tell her she is welcome to take food and drinks from my cabinet. I would not prepare her food.
Jobs come with a lunch break....if u r paid by the hour...u r NOT paid for that time usually.

Sometimes I will offer her something small if I am giving my kids anyway.

Where I live we have to pay for transportation. (Good 15 a way)
Most jobs don't. Come with paid transportation.
I would not give her lunch and let her know she may take a half hour or wtvr Amt if time u feel nessecary for her to eat her own lunch.

amother

Lawngreen

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 1:54 pm

LittleDucky wrote:

So don't eat it in front of her. Eat the salad part of your lunch with her. It might be a spin off But is there a reason your food budget is "out of control"? I found that when the people who wanted the fancier foods did the grocery shopping for or with me and saw the cost--- their minds suddenly changed. Discuss with him why you cannot spend that, especially when steak costs X a pound and each person eats Y amount so every dinner costs us Z. Is the fish medically necessary? Can you cook 2 dinners, one for you and one for DH and the rest? Sea bass is expensive. Can you substitute other fishes? If meat is medically needed, there is ground beef which is much cheaper (not cheap though...).

DH wants the food. I am the one who thinks it is ridiculous.

abaker

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 1:55 pm

I think she should be thankful you are providing her a nice healthy lunch and be thanking you every time, not demanding something else. Even if someone was offering something not super fancy I'd be sure to express thanks for her kind gesture.

It's a bit out of line if you ask me Smile

If she really is demanding you provide something else I'd say " you can feel free to take a lunch for 30 minutes and eat at (designated location in your home/outside/in her car) and bring your own food." As long as she still gets the work done you need and you have no other issues with her.

tichellady

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 1:56 pm

My parents had a similar issue so my mom bought our housekeeper her own microwave to use for her food and she was allowed to bring in food from home and heat in there and use disposables to eat with it= no kashrut issue and not forcing her to eat food she doesn't like. It worked out better for everyone.

Amarante

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 2:09 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks for the feedback. I am not eating fancy lunches while feeding her gruel, we eat the same thing. I always make myself salad and a sandwich, so on the days she comes, I just make the salad bigger and an extra sandwich. I suppose I could make another sandwich, but I'm not sure she's actually hungry, I think she just wants a fresh hot meal for whatever reason. FWIW, I'm pretty sure providing lunch is a frum thing, done for kashrus reasons. My parents aren't frum and their cleaning lady brings her own lunch, which is something that I (and most frum people) would have a problem with. I will offer an extra sandwich and if the lunch thing continues to be an issue, I guess I'll find someone new. The point of hiring help is to make less work for myself, not more.

I think it completely unreasonable for her to want a fancy lunch if you are not eating one LOL.

to the second poster who was eating a fancier lunch, I think it's a bit awkward but the woman is still very chutzpadick to demand fancy food. Food is an extra.

As for whether its the custom, I think it is not a frum thing only but more a matter of how long the woman works. If the woman is essentially working all day, most people do offer lunch, whether they are frum or not. It just seems to be part of the job here in the USA.

But many people now have services that clean the house or apartment in a few hours so they really aren't there all day so why would they feed them lunch. Coffee break things in terms of a nosh or a drink of course. But feeding them is not expected.

But OP seems to have a woman who is there all day so feeding her is normal. My non frum neighbor feeds her lady who works all day.

watergirl

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 2:21 pm

Op, I agree that what you are feeding her is fine. To the poster who said its a frum thing to feed your cleaning lady - no it isnt. My mom always did, and I didn't grow up frum.
However, to the amother who said she doesnt feed her help - I think its actually halacha that you do. Cleaning help, nannies... I cant quote a source, because I've never had help before so it never applied to me. But my friend who is a nanny has actually informed her boss that its halacha to provide lunch (after her pay was docked by her frum employer for making one daily sandwich). I have worked at a restaurant and the vaad required us all to get a paid meal break, including one free meal per break (from the menu).

tichellady

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 2:24 pm

Amarante wrote:

I disagree. I hate eating a cold lunch and don't think the tastes of my employer have to dictate what I eat for lunch. My boss eats ramen noodles for lunch- so I have to also? I bring my own lunch to work and have a microwave there. I don't think it's fair to deny her the right to bring her own food. Tell her she can eat what you eat or bring her own food and figure out a plan to make that work kashrut wise. It's not fair to be overly machmir on her expense.

Amarante

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 2:37 pm

tichellady wrote:

I don't think the cleaning lady wants to bring her own food. She wants better food to be served to her. The OP is eating a sandwich and salad but the cleaning lady wants a hot multi course lunch.

Nowhere was the issue of bringing in food from the outside raised except theoretically by subsequent posters.

I doubt whether the cleaning lady in question wants to bring in her own food that she would have to pay for lol

The only possible issue is whether you have a right to a different lunch than you offer your help. And I think you do but I also think most people would feel uncomfortable and so on the day the women came would eat a less expensive lunch or in some way be a bit discreet.

amother

Pumpkin

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 3:11 pm

Most cleaning ladies from central or South America expect a hot lunch.
This is because in those countries they were so poor that this was the only food they ate all day. Some also expect you to offer them toast and coffee for breakfast. Again, they didnt have anything to eat in their "homes". Now that they live in the US they are told from other cleaning ladies, that we are so desperate for their help, they should demand this from us.

That being said, I give my cleaning lady leftovers from dinner. I make 1 extra portion for this reason. I also ask her before she starts if she would like coffee, if I'm home. Mine always says no thank you.
I serve her a plate, labeled in the fridge, and she heats it herself in the microwave when she is ready to eat. I let her know that she can take fruit and cake that is already open from Shabbat, but she won't take unless I designate a plate for her.

FYI, in Brazil they expect the typical Brazilian dish which is a bean dish similar to a liquidy cholent served with rice. Even if you serve them steak with roasted potatoes, they will ask where the beans are.

notshanarishona

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 3:27 pm

A lot of this depends whether:
- The cleaning help has a car
- You give her long enough of a break to get somewhere to eat a normal meal
- you allow her to bring her own food (I.e. and have a microwave or some type of set up for her to heat it up)
- how much you are paying her
-how hard you are working her I.e. for intense physical labor I can see needing a more filling meal vs. washing dishes and doing laundry and some mopping
- what is accepted in your community

It's hard to say what to do with so many variables.
Personally, I think giving her whatever you eat is reasonable.Don't eat $50 meals in front her and give her P&J.

notshanarishona

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 3:33 pm

causemommysaid wrote:

Wow I wish my employer served me a sandwich and salad every day. I cant believe she is demanding you cook for her. Even my own kids know not to demand that of me. LOL

It's a little different if you don't allow her to bring treif into your house vs. a regular employment situation which would not require this.

causemommysaid

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 3:39 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

It's a little different if you don't allow her to bring treif into your house vs. a regular employment situation which would not require this.

My point is that she should appreciate the very decent lunch OP is providing and stop being a brat. Multi course hot meal!!! what in the world??

Miri7

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 3:51 pm

I had no idea that some people prepare lunches for cleaning ladies. I'd never heard of that. Mine have always brought their own lunches. They would keep hot things hot or cold things cold with thermoses or cold packs - just like the lunches my kids take.

If I was working from home and making myself lunch (usually heating leftovers) then I would offer to heat some for them. I did have one cleaning lady who was nearly full-time and she wanted to be able to heat things - she brought a little microwave and kept it in the garage. She would eat outside (we live in a very warm climate). That was fine by me.

For Pesach time I would tell her that she can't bring any food stuff into the house. I had lunch for her and bought her a good stash of snacks just for her - chips, chocolate, etc, so it felt nice rather than an imposition. She'd worked for years for frum families and knew the deal.

finallyamommy

Mon, Oct 26 2015, 4:25 pm

Might you be able to compromise? I think a sandwich with soup is a perfectly reasonable alternative to a sandwich with salad. Or you could make (for both of you, of course) grilled cheese or tuna melt or some such. Then you're not making fancy meals but she still gets her hot lunch. I do think her demands are ridiculous, but as long as you're willing to make it and eat it, and it's not difficult, then why not?