"I would never spend that much on an outfit" vent

Mitzvahmom

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 9:26 am

So this year, I treated myself to the first new outfit I have ever bought for myself.

Sometimes my Rebbitzen will give me things that do not fit her right, yes they are new but they do not fit me right really all the time. Sometimes my mother will buy me little outfits, and it's the similar thing u know?

This year, I had saved enough money to get a bed for myself, myv ery own bed with my very own money. EXTREMELY exciting for me Smile

It just so happens that when I went to the store, the bed was ON SALE!!

Now typically when I have extra money, spend it on the kids no?? This time I decided...why do that, I saved this money for me. It was just enough to spoil myself just a little, so my friend dragged me to cheap stores (resale, salvation army). To her it was the best way to get more for the money. Nothing fit, and I really wanted to SPOIL myself so to speak.

So I went to my fav store, talbots, as a petite woman it's the only store where everything fits me, without adjustments. I found the most perfect outfit, that just fits me like a glove!! So u know what?? I got it.

This past shabbos, this woman comes up to me (now I know she's going through financial issues, heck so am I). So she says, that outfit is beautiful!! I said thanks, this was my treat for myself (u know proud I could treat myself for ONCE). She says, "I would never spend that much on an outfit but it looks great on u." I almost fell over and cried, because I NEVER treat myself and where did she have a right to say that to me!?

I said firstly, it's none of your business, secondly it's shabbos and walked away. It still really hurt. I kn ow she's saying to everyone, oh she has no money for rent but she can buy this outfit for herself Crying

Mimisinger

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 9:30 am

Don't even worry about that woman. Unfortunately, being rude and making comments just make some people feel better about themselves - this was not about you at all - it's about her issues.

Enjoy your outfit - you deserve it and much more!

Tefila

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 9:30 am

Quote:

because I NEVER treat myself

Once in awhile when the going is rough we need to spoil ourselves Wink

Last edited by Tefila on Sun, Jul 08 2007, 7:40 pm; edited 1 time in total

greenfire

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 9:41 am

mitzvahmom - how does she know how much you spent ... talbots very often has things on sale ... and it is also none of her business ... what is important to some is unimportant ... treating yourself is one of the most important things - as a woman - especially as a single woman forget her ... and congratulations on your wonderful outfit ... wear it in good health and FUN!!!

chocolate moose

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 9:43 am

Two issues here.

First of all, MM and her new outfit. For that, wear it in good health and have a lot of simcha from it! Yagati Umatzati - you work hard for your $$$, and losing weight, and you succeeded in finding a good sale! It was bashert.

Secondly, is the lady and her situation. Let's just pity her...and hope when she needs something, she gets it too.

(Lastly - I only shop Talbot's with a big coupon or a huge sale, so I guess it's not so uncommon . . . . but it shouldn't take away from your simcha! I'm sure both she and I do spend money that you maybe wouldn't, so let's consider it even.)

Mitzvahmom

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 9:46 am

chocolate moose wrote:

(Lastly - I only shop Talbot's with a big coupon or a huge sale, so I guess it's not so uncommon . . . . but it shouldn't take away from your simcha! I'm sure both she and I do spend money that you maybe wouldn't, so let's consider it even.)

me too chocolate!! It was like 50% off... never shop unless it's a sale at talbots... so not worth it other wise

Cinderella

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 10:17 am

greenfire wrote:

Amen to all that!

I used to have a job where I worked three days (very, very long hours) a week, and this frum co-worker (she was the most obnoxoius thing ever and even the non jews hated her) of mine tells me, I see you in the same outfit all the time! Granted, I have several bottoms and tops in dark colors that I love to wear... but even so, I thought that was disgusting to say, especially infront of others.

Mrs. XYZ

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 10:53 am

Oh please MM, why do you feel bad or guilty? You dont have to justify yourself to anyone!! Some people just dont 'fargin' others.

Wear it and tear it in good health!

mimivan

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 10:55 am

When things like this happen, I thank Hashem for handing me a nisayon in the form of a rude remark that I know I don't deserve...it is so obvious you do not deserve it that it screams out what it is "NISAYON!" Food for the yetzer hara which wants to make you second guess giving yourself something you do deserve, which is a nice outfit.

Ignore it and be B'simcha...

I have some stories about how ignoring rude remarks brought me berachas...I wish I could always ignore such things..

wear it in good health!

chocolate moose

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 1:47 pm

Cinderella wrote:

I used to have a job .....and this frum co-worker (she was the most obnoxoius thing ever and even the non jews hated her) of mine tells me, I see you in the same outfit all the time! .

I had a coworker like that! Her clothes were all similar and very expensive and it looked like she had hardly any clothes!!!!! There's a "way" to say something . . .

happymom

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 4:41 pm

shes prob just jealous.

cindy324

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 9:26 pm

You know the saying "misery loves company"...she's jealous that you were able to get yourself something nice, and she can't, plus now she feels like she doesn't have a buddy to comiserate (sp?) with.

greenfire

Sun, Jul 08 2007, 10:57 pm

cindy324 wrote:

comiserate (sp?).

commiserate ...

southernbubby

Mon, Jul 09 2007, 10:42 am

Just because she wouldn't have bought the outfit doesn't mean that you shouldn't have. People spend their money in different ways and have different priorities. Sometimes when they think that they are spending less and being frugal, they actually are spending more.

happy2beme

Mon, Jul 09 2007, 10:50 am

Some people really have no brains....

You can't do anything about it.

Tischadesh! You really really deserved it!

cindy324

Mon, Jul 09 2007, 12:32 pm

Quote:

comiserate (sp?).

commiserate ...

Ah...Thanks greeny! Very Happy