She's not beautiful, she's gorgeous and cute

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Orange

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:00 pm

Someone sent me a video of her playing with her baby girl. I commented that the baby was beautiful because I really thought so. Her response, she's not beautiful, but gorgeous and cute. I asked her what's the difference between gorgeous and beautiful and she used gorgeous as an adverb as opposed as an adjective. Whatever her reasons and her answer was, is it me or is that weird she said she isn't when I gave a compliment? I know when someone compliments me and I disagree I say, thank you, but I don't think so, but this was to her baby. To me, the whole thing was strange. What do you think?

mommy3b2c

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:04 pm

I think she's a weirdo, lacking social skills.

Out of curiosity, what did she say is the difference?

And, unless her child is a verb, why would she want you to use an adverb to describe her?

Last edited by mommy3b2c on Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:05 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Babypink

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:04 pm

is she English? I think English people use gorgeous differently then Americans. In any case I agree that if someone gives you a complement you say thank you.

MiracleMama

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:04 pm

It's weird. Very. Don't waste another second rethinking what you said.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:07 pm

Totally weird, but, whatever. I'd just nod and let it go.

amother

Orange

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:49 pm

amother wrote:

is she English? I think English people use gorgeous differently then Americans. In any case I agree that if someone gives you a complement you say thank you.

That's what I was thinking, but still. I understood her reference because I know that's how the english use it. English is not her first language, but she learned english from her first husband who was english.

I did let it go. I just answered with, k. Smile

I only wanted to know if it was me that thought it was weird or I was the weird one.

finallyamommy

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:51 pm

Huh? Gorgeous IS an adjective, and as far as I know it's synonymous with beautiful.

sequoia

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 3:10 pm

None of them are adverbs.

sweetpotato

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 3:29 pm

Gorgeous isn't usually a word you use to describe a baby. It usually has a connotation of glamorous, stylish, etc. It's also definitely not an adverb.

Sadie

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 4:55 pm

Next time just tell her that her baby is "breathtaking".

zaq

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 5:08 pm

It's an adjective. In hifalutin' lingo it is used to describe things that are extremely vivid. "Gorgeous plumage" on a bird means brilliant, splashy color. A swan may have beautiful feathers, but gorgeous they are not. In ordinary just plain folks lingo, it means beautiful kicked up a notch, so a swan can be a gorgeous bird despite the lack of gorgeousness in its coloring.

I wouldn't hesitate to describe a baby as gorgeous if I thought she outstripped all other infants in beauty. Maybe your friend thinks "beautiful" is just too ordinary an accolade. Maybe she thinks she herself is beautiful, therefore the baby must be gorgeous.

But, persnickety pundits aside, OP, you are waaaay overthinking this whole matter. Was she rude to dismiss your compliment? Possibly. Then again, we can't really know. Your friend is not a native speaker of English, and the English she doesn't speak so well is British. There's no telling what she thinks the word beautiful OR the word gorgeous means.

In short, it does seem odd for your friend to have sloughed off your compliment to her baby, but hey. We all have moments of weirdness. She's a new mom--her head may have been thinking one thing while her lips glommed onto something else and spat it out. Get over it.

be good

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 7:45 pm

in the contexts that I have heard british people say gorgeous, it has always been an overall compliment (meaning wonderful in every way) rather than appearance based. It seems to me that what she was trying to say was that she doesn't appreciate superficial compliments, she values her baby's wonderful-ness and charm.

That being said, I don't think it is ever socially appropriate to correct/rephrase others' compliments!

amother

Orange

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 8:03 pm

Sadie wrote:

Next time just tell her that her baby is "breathtaking".

Ha, ha, but she might have seen Seinfeld Very Happy

zaq

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 8:06 pm

be good wrote:

Reread the OP. OP said the child was beautiful; the new MOM said she's gorgeous. Maybe when she claimed the word is an adverb, she thought she was describing the child's behavior. Or maybe she has no idea what an adverb is, English not being her native tongue. Maybe she doesn't know what "gorgeous" means, either. For all we know, a similar-sounding word in her mammaloshen means "well-behaved" or "healthy"--the way "embarazada" is Spanish, not for "embarrassed", but for "pregnant".

amother

Orange

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 8:13 pm

zaq wrote:

Maybe your friend thinks "beautiful" is just too ordinary an accolade. Maybe she thinks she herself is beautiful, therefore the baby must be gorgeous.

Get over it.

I just listened to what she said and she said, "but in the face, she's not so beautiful, she's cute". It doesn't make any difference anyway. I did get over it. I only mentioned it here, not anywhere else, so I did get over it and I didn't make any deal about it.

zaq

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 8:56 pm

Whoa, OP, that's a game-changer! Next time verify your facts before posting, please. Many, many people will deny or minimize compliments. Your friend was neither rude nor weird but 100% normal. Some people do this out of genuine fear of ayin hara, some out of a desire not to appear conceited, and some out of some other cultural taboo (having to negate a compliment is no weirder than the American custom that decrees one must not laugh at one's own joke).

BrachaBatya

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 9:23 pm

WEIRD!!!!!

HelloG

Fri, Dec 11 2015, 7:27 am

If it was by text you might have misunderstood due to not hearing her voice. She might have said it as a joke

amother

Orange

Fri, Dec 11 2015, 7:42 am

AmGold wrote:

If it was by text you might have misunderstood due to not hearing her voice. She might have said it as a joke

Forget it, it's not a big deal at all, but she doesn't text me because it's easier for her to talk than text in english.

amother

Wheat

Fri, Dec 11 2015, 7:47 am

amother wrote:

I only wanted to know if it was me that thought it was weird or I was the weird one.

No. Us English folk tend to accept gorgeous and beautiful in the same manner you Americans do.

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