Rechnitz wrote an apology letter

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Mevater

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:30 pm

Fox wrote:

I'm sorry that Mr. Rechnitz felt the need to apologize. I listened to the speech in its entirety, and I saw nothing for which an apology is needed.

I myself don't live in Lakewood, and I know Lakewooders who claim the problem isn't really what it seems and others who claim it's an epidemic.

What I do know is that the Lakewood community has developed a reputation partly as a result of this and similar issues -- one that significantly detracts from its incredible accomplishments in Torah.

Moreover, there was tochacha in Mr. Rechnitz's speech for every single one of us. Are any of us truly innocent of wanting to be "better" in one way or another. Are any of truly innocent of not looking down on other Jews for trivial reasons? When we talk about "standards" in various areas of life, are we actually using that as a code word to put down people who aren't quite as . . . whatever . . . as we are?

Was this the best forum for his message? I don't know. Gevirim aren't typically given the opportunity to speak to a large audience unless it's at these kind of events, and certainly such events are regularly used by Roshei Yeshiva and other Torah leaders to exhort people toward proper behavior. So I find that argument a little dubious, to be honest.

Ultimately, we can choose to accept this tochacha and take it upon ourselves, whether or not we live in Lakewood, to remind ourselves not to practice the kind of elitism Mr. Rechnitz described and with which we're all familiar.

Or, we can make endless excuses by nitpicking details of the speech, the selection of the forum, or the character and motives of the messenger.

Which option will impress Hashem more?

+100000000000000

naturalmom5

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:42 pm

I'm feel nauseous.. Sun night was the best speech I heard in 20 years

Now I just want to Puke

thunderstorm

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:47 pm

I began watching his speech yesterday, never got to finish due to technical reasons.
But I have to say this man truly spoke not only from his heart, but I felt like he was speaking my heart. I actually had tears in my eyes as he spoke, because he brought up my feelings that are so pent up. I went through the anguish he spoke about. It had permanent damage...TO ME! I hope my child forgot but when he was 5 he was pained too.
The pain at that time was unbearable...I never thought of myself as damaged goods until I had to get my own child into school. I was told by the menahel that we werent wanted and the only reason why we are there is because my boss pressured them. My boss is an askan and I finally plotzed and had to ba'avel myself and get him involved. I wont get into detail, but I dont live in Lakewood. This issue is rampant all around.
I could tell you that I have 3 nieces, all sisters who moved to our town and were rejected from EVERY girls school...these girls were home for 2 years with no school to go to, until multiple askanim banged down the doors of schools...at that point the two highschool aged kids felt like two cents and refused to even go to school anymore...the third one was sent to a very MO school (she is from a very chassidish home)....let us just say , shabbos is no longer kept, they wear pants and their lives were destroyed due to this rejection.
So the fact that he backed out on his speech really breaks my heart...Rechnitz is a good man, a tzaddik and it's sad he had to bow to the pressure.

Mevater

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:48 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

I'm feel nauseous.. Sun night was the best speech I heard in 20 years

Now I just want to Puke

I echo your sentiments. I can go a bit further though. My memory might be failing me, but I think it was the best speech Ive heard in my life.

thunderstorm

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:52 pm

Mevater wrote:

I echo your sentiments. I can go a bit further though. My memory might be failing me, but I think it was the best speech Ive heard in my life.

It was!!!!

Maya

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:52 pm

I don't understand what happened. This is a guy who is at THE top of the food chain, especially in a place like Lakewood. What could he have been "threatened" with to make him retract his words?!

abound

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:54 pm

He did not retract his words, just clarified that he respects lakewood and Rabbonim, but he still feels that this is an issue that must be confronted and taken care of.
I don't think he retracted or took back anything he said, but he asked that no one twist his words around or use it for their own anti Lakewood or anti Kollel agenda.

Last edited by abound on Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:57 pm; edited 1 time in total

naturalmom5

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:57 pm

Maya wrote:

I don't understand what happened. This is a guy who is at THE top of the food chain, especially in a place like Lakewood. What could he have been "threatened" with to make him retract his words?!

His life.. I am dead serious..

Edited..

Happy now ??

Last edited by naturalmom5 on Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:06 pm; edited 1 time in total

Maya

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:58 pm

abound wrote:

It seems me that at first he blamed the school administrations and the parents, and now he's retracting to it being ONLY the "elitist" parents, and took all the blame off the schools and Rabbonim.

happybeingamom

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 2:59 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

His life.. I am dead serious...

This is why threads get locked

I support the speech by the way

Last edited by happybeingamom on Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:38 pm; edited 1 time in total

agreer

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:01 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

His life.. I am dead serious...

I agree with happybeingamom...

For the poster wondering why Rechnitz is in Maimonidies - could be b/c his FIL, R' Belsky, is very ill.

Last edited by agreer on Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:16 pm; edited 1 time in total

PinkFridge

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:08 pm

Before this gets locked...
I don't buy the threat line. SYR could just make it known that his hit men could beat up their hit men Very Happy

Seriously, the poor guy is d'd if he does, d'd if he doesn't. So many people have said, right speech, wrong time and forum. Here he goes and says what he wishes he would have said to make it more palatable. I don't see this as backpedaling. Maybe he didn't fully clarify with his daas Torah before making the speech and this is the results of post-speech discussion.
And his absenting himself from the discussion might be a gracious act. I don't know but I can easily be dlkz.

abound

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:09 pm

Either way, his speech had an impact, even if some people feel like they "saved face" by his letter, they will not be able to continue calling schools or treating people the same way without feeling very stupid or maybe hopefully having repercussions for their actions.
I hope his speech had an impact, I pretty much think it did.

Mevater

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:27 pm

agreer wrote:

I agree with happybeingamom...

For the poster wondering why Rechnitz is in Maimonidies - could be b/c his FIL, R' Belsky, is very ill.

He clearly said his FIL is in Sloan Kettering. I hate to think why HE (Rechnitz) is in Maimonides.

May Hashem watch over him!

amother

Pearl

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:34 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

His life.. I am dead serious...

Many years ago one of my closest friends's husbands told my husband if you have to choose between the Gambino family and the (deleted) family, choose the former

Don't know if this is lashon hara or motzei Shem rah. But it's definitely assur because all it does is make me think badly of them for no reason. I am in no way protected because j wasn't planning to mess with them.

Seriously wherever you people get your information from.

I admit, I don't have positive things to say about people and I did write a nasty post on the thread that got deleted. But adding names to your post is a whole new level. Especially since it is a huge exaggeration that I'm not really sure how you could minimize it enoug to make it realistic.

And that the family you mentioned was never criticized and that I'm not sure how you could possibly be in on the secret that his life was threatened.

-Btw I'm not a Lakewood fan (I'm an ex yeshivish so my feelings of Lakewood are negative if anything) and I have zero connection to the family so I'm definitely not trying to protect them.

PinkFridge

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:38 pm

Amother pearl, thank you thank you thank you!
I'm sure that nasty post was an aberration and we'll see more of your classier side Tongue Out

gold21

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:39 pm

Mevater wrote:

He clearly said his FIL is in Sloan Kettering. I hate to think why HE (Rechnitz) is in Maimonides.

May Hashem watch over him!

I had heard they were trying to arrange a transfer out of Sloan Kettering (I believe it was to Maimonides). May this be the hospital and doctors that will help bring him a complete and quick refuah.

Heyaaa

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:41 pm

Maya wrote:

It seems me that at first he blamed the school administrations and the parents, and now he's retracting to it being ONLY the "elitist" parents, and took all the blame off the schools and Rabbonim.

In the original speech he said the same thing. He said that the rabbanim try to get the kids into schools and the schools are willing if not for these parents who call and say they will pull out their kid if the other kid comes. Also the school knows that if they accept certain kids then their reputation will be shot for next year and they won't have applicants. So accepting 'less worthy' kids is a death sentence for a school.

In this apology he didn't say anything different from the first one. All he said was the same exact thing in shorter words so you got his message better. He left out the poetry and the metaphors and instead said in bullet points exactly what he meant. But it wasn't anything new and it didn't leave anything out.

Miri7

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:45 pm

Appears to me that he sent the letter when he realized that all the discussion was about the delivery of his speech and not about his message. He wants people to focus on the problem and finding solutions.

He's told all the community leaders to find a solution and that he will fund it. Rarely is a community that's facing a big crisis given a blank check to solve it. This is a huge opportunity.

I found the speech to be really moving. I am not a softie but I was in tears as he described these kids's heartache. So I view this letter as trying to move the discussion away from his speech and toward his charge - to ensure that each kids has a place in school.

mummiedearest

Thu, Jan 28 2016, 3:48 pm

Miri7 wrote:

great! how do I get in touch with him? I found the solution. if he holds off donating anything to anyone in lakewood until all the kids have placements, they'll scramble to get it done. it's so simple...

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