S/thing to think abt re: "culture" costumes and racism

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Mar 06 2016, 12:59 pm

http://jnmagazine.com/2015/03/.....ning/

Please read this article. I'm not trying to start a kvetch-fest about political correctness and sensitivity (please don't bother replying if that's all you're going to do), but people should at least THINK about how they behave when it comes to the issues this author is raising. You can dress up in ways that are respectful, and you can dress up in ways that aren't. But is it really worth offending another Jew, or making someone feel unwelcome, for something unnecessary? I'm tired of all the justification of racism that goes on in frum communities in one way or another, and being mature about this issue and how you speak of it is a way of showing that you actually do care.

Quote:

When I sat down to write this, I admit that I was conflicted. So much in the world recently has been negative and damaging, especially for people of color. I was hoping that I could take refuge in my faith, and have a little fun with a glass of wine in one hand, and a grogger in the other. I wanted to be able to write about costumes and treats and the joy of seeing Purim through my convert’s eyes these last few years. I was hoping that I could lose myself in a lighthearted piece about good times and witty spiels.

I can’t.

I can’t because I dread that on Erev Purim, I will open Facebook to a sea of people, of Jews, who use the cultures of others as costumes. I dread the sorry excuses that come from calling people out on their racist choices, on being told that we are being too sensitive, too politically correct. I dread having to explain to my 11-year old child why people think it’s ok to engage in cultural appropriation, and frankly, I’m tired of doing so. I expected there to be challenges as a Jew of Color. I’d experienced racism in large synagogues before my conversion, both progressive and more conservative. I knew that as a family of mixed ethnicity, we would always be different, and that’s ok. What’s not ok is being made to feel that we aren’t Jewish enough. What’s not ok is people exclaiming “But you look SO Israeli! “ as if it is a compliment, when looking Latina is just fine, and I’m proud of it, thankyouverymuch. Asking me if I’m going to wear something “Puerto Rican” and give a dancing demo is not ok if you don’t want to hear about the history of those “costumes” called plantation clothing or dresses, which, together with bomba and plena, tell the history and story of enslaved people on the island, struggling to share their tales with one another under repressive masters.

I didn’t trade in my culture when I converted. I didn’t stop being a Latina. I brought all of me to the mikveh that day, and left with an addition to my soul. That is the person who prays for understand from on high when lives are lost to racism. My Judaism is translated through my own lens, wrought of folk tales filled with Caribbean breezes, of strong brewed coffee, rice and beans, and hand made lollipops from the kitchens of old Puerto Rican and Dominican women. My Purim may have rum instead of wine, my Pesach plantains and yucca, and sounds of Spanish as meals are prepared and we scramble to greet another holiday. This doesn’t make my faith any less authentic than yours, nor does it make it exotic. It simply is.

My prayer for this Purim is that people will think through their costume choices a little more carefully and skip the sleazy faux ethnic costumes. That, when they meet someone who doesn’t fit the Ashkenazi stereotype, they remember how out of place Esther must have felt, and treat people accordingly. To remember that Jews historically have struggled with being the “other” and the harm it had on our people throughout history. Dov Hikind is still an embarrassment to all of us with his blackface. Even more embarrassing were those rushing to explain why it really wasn’t racist.

If you can’t understand what all the fuss was about, consider yourself part of the problem. And feel free to explain to my 11 year old why it isn’t racist. We’ll be waiting.

Fox

Sun, Mar 06 2016, 2:28 pm

amother wrote:

I'm not trying to start a kvetch-fest about political correctness and sensitivity (please don't bother replying if that's all you're going to do), but people should at least THINK about how they behave when it comes to the issues this author is raising. You can dress up in ways that are respectful, and you can dress up in ways that aren't. But is it really worth offending another Jew, or making someone feel unwelcome, for something unnecessary? I'm tired of all the justification of racism that goes on in frum communities in one way or another, and being mature about this issue and how you speak of it is a way of showing that you actually do care.

I find myself writing about this when it comes up, and the irony is that I don't necessarily disagree with the premise that people living in multi-cultural environments have to exert a little more sensitivity.

What makes me take to my keyboard is the bad thinking and bad writing that goes unchallenged, and this op-ed piece is a perfect example.

Frankly, OP, I don't believe you want people to "at least THINK . . . " Thinking would require discussing a whole host of issues that arise when cultures meet. It would mean discussing how cultures share and learn from one another. It would mean defining "cultural appropriation" and when or why it's necessarily a bad thing. It would mean confronting our ignorance about the world, and educated, liberal people of all backgrounds are notoriously reluctant to do that. It would mean deciding whether we want to be actors or reactors when it comes to telling our stories.

Had I received this essay back in my days as a freshman writing teacher, it would have immediately been sent back for a re-write. I am frankly embarrassed for the author that this was published anywhere in this form.

The logical fallacies run amok. She declares ethnic or national costumes to be racist and drops the topic. She then digresses into her experiences as a Latina Jew and part of a multi-racial household, though her examples don't seem to be even tangentially related to the issue of costumes.

What comes through is that the author wants to wear her ethnic and cultural background proudly while simultaneously condemning anyone who notices or behaves awkwardly about that difference. Sorry, sweetie -- you can't have it both ways.

There are plenty of Jews who, as a result of conversion or simply convoluted family histories, stand out culturally or even physically within their communities. It's just not that uncommon. Do people make stupid remarks about it? Yes, and we need to call them out on that. But treating every innocently-meant question as a racist salvo isn't good for anyone in the long run.

In fact, it seems that it's very, very bad: There is evidence that in many work situations, whites will actively avoid encounters with other races (including hiring people) because they fear saying or doing something that will lead to their branding as racists.

Is it hard being a poster child for non-pink-skinned Jews? Is it annoying to be mistaken for something you're not. Absolutely. Should people avoid making assumptions about your background? Absolutely.

But be very, very careful about what you ask for; you may get it. Living in a world in which no one is allowed to notice differences lest they say the wrong thing or display ignorance of history doesn't lead to peace and understanding. It leads to avoidance.

And has nothing to do with costumes, be they respectful or disgraceful.

Sadie

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 5:53 am

amother wrote:

There is a big difference between dressing as a nazi storm trooper or a plantation overseer than as George Washington or a native American. What is annoying inconvenient is ignorant judgemental people who can't see the difference.

The difference is that the things you think are unacceptable are things that offend your sensibilities, and the things you think are acceptable are things that offend other people's sensibilities. Meaning the main difference is inability to empathize with others.

I'm not saying what costumes I personally think should be off limits. It's not my call and there are too many variables in play to make any blanket rules meaningful. Just saying that writing off people who explain how certain actions of yours make them feel shows a lack of empathy and compassion (basic middos for Jews).

amother

Oak

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 8:16 am

Sadie wrote:

Any costume is going to offend someone. I personally have no respect for Esther and think celebrating her using her beauty and femine wiles to manipulate her husband sends the wrong message to our daughters. Should all Esthers be banned because amother takes offense?

You can still be compassionate and have empathy while having common sense.

Sadie

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 8:55 am

amother wrote:

The problem with common sense is that it's actually pretty culturally specific; what seems obvious to you won't be understood the same way as it would be by someone from another culture. So when you butt up against another culture you're going to end up with some misunderstandings.

I don't think a frum person is bad for not knowing the history of Native American genocide, but if you have access to the information Native American people are trying to give over about their history and how these costumes make them feel, and you dismiss it as them just being over sensitive, that is a lack of compassion. Sometimes you refrain from doing something just because you know it's causing another person pain, even if you don't fully get it yourself. And with the Internet the way it is now, there is nothing you're doing in your communities that is actually fully private. Then you end up doing chillul hashem as well as onaas devarim.

There actually is plenty of discussion about women's costumes and how they contribute to objectification, more relating to Halloween and not Purim. I also think that that's a good thing. And to be fully transparent, I myself have dressed up both in objectifying sxy costumes and culture costumes in my life, including an Indian costume. They are things that I've done in my past that would reconsider doing today, now that I have more information. I think your Esther example is a little off though, because 1) it's just devil's advocate, it's not real. There aren't actually real groups of people who are saying they're hurt by Esther costumes and 2) Purim being a religious holiday, it would be odd for someone who objects to Esther as a costume to be celebrating Purim at all.

amother

Oak

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 9:07 am

Sadie wrote:

Wrong. As you say, we have the Internet and I Googled feminism and Ester and found she is not ubiquitously admired.

Why can Native Americans and groups sell their ethnic garb if it is so offensive for nonmembers to wear it?

Sadie

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 9:29 am

amother wrote:

Where did I say that there was no feminist critique of the Esther story? What I said was that little girls in Esther costumes aren't causing anguish to a group of people. That's not a thing. And even if it were, Esther costumes are a part of your cultural heritage and you have a right to them. It's not the same as slapping on a fake war bonnet without any knowledge of what it means.

Some native Americans sell replicas of their garb to tourists because of crushing poverty. In any case, I doubt that most costume wearers are ordering buckskin jackets and turquoise bracelets from a reservations' etsy shop.

amother

Oak

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 9:52 am

Sadie wrote:

Frum feminists have just as many rights as convert Puerto Ricans do. I bet there are a lot more frum feminists. I count myself as one, and I can't stand PC control freaks who try to tell me what to think and that if I don't think the way they do, I lack compassion and empathy. You don't have anymore right to tell me what to think then the men did who would not let women vote.

I also travel the world and enjoy wearing authentic clothing and jewelry. Jobs are created because of tourists like me. Would it be better if there was no tourism because people live in crushing poverty? How does that help the crushing poverty by not purchasing the goods and services sold by ethnic groups.

Your reasoning is faulty. What difference does it matter whether I know what war bonnets mean? FTR, I do know history. We are not oppressing ethnic groups because we wear their traditional clothes.

amother

Brown

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 9:56 am

Sadie wrote:

I think there are too many things.

Even as a card-carrying liberal, I feel the whole microaggression sensitivity culture has gotten so out of hand that it led to a certain megalomaniac becoming so popular in the polls that he may very well become our next president.

May God protect us all.

Dressing like an African slave in chains, blackface on stage, Achashveirosh wearing the cohen gadol clothes during his grand party - all legitimately offensive.

African tribal costume? A random American nonJew in a cohen gadol costume? A shtetl Jew? Native American costume? Not the same.

I hear what you're saying that it's not up to us to determine what someone else considers offensive. But it just irks me that every second thing has become a thing and it's getting impossible to keep track.

Someone on a thread a while back was saying that some Native Americans object to Thanksgiving as a holiday. Now what?? This is never ending.

Costumes are a sign of interest in a different culture. That's all. Unless you choose a deliberately degrading version of it, or act in a mocking manner.

Sadie

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 10:04 am

amother wrote:

Of course I don't have a right to tell what to wear. Wear whatever you want. It just means that doing whatever you want is more important to you than the way you make other people feel. Go for it, enjoy!

Sadie

Mon, Mar 07 2016, 10:22 am

amother wrote:

I agree with you that dressing in the clothes of another culture is not necessarily offensive and can be positive. I'm not trying to say where the line is. But certain people seem to think that being asked to listen to the feelings of people whose culture has been popularly mocked and degraded means they're being attacked by the PC police. They automatically get defensive and don't consider that they might have something to learn (I'm not referring to you here, btw)

I celebrate thanksgiving (or would, theoretically, if I moved back to America) but I don't believe that objection to thanksgiving is just a micro-aggression sensitivity. Most American school children don't get any in-depth education on native history and the only time they really hear about Indians is when they learn about how friendly Indians helped the white settlers and they all sat around the table together for a friendly meal. It's a really sanitized and inaccurate portrayal of colonial life, and the students miss out on learning important historical facts about their country.