Mishloach manot isn't a competition, people.

amother

Ivory

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 3:00 pm

Am I the only one who doesn't stress over this, puts some sweets and goodies in a bag with a cute bow, and gives them out to a few neighbors? With all the themes and the fancy packaging and the expensive stuff - you'd think your MM are all ending up on Pinterest. Why is everyone trying to one-up one another or freaking out over a creative theme? Seriously.

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 3:03 pm

Where I live, EVERYTHING is a competition.

So naturally, MM is a competition as well. Think of it like entries in a contest for most creative, most geshikt, most fancy, most cute, etc.

Yes, I live in town, in case that wasn't obvious. LOL

m in Israel

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 3:11 pm

amother wrote:

There are two separate factors in your post. Trying to "one-up" one another is not necessarily the same thing as trying to have a creative theme. Most of the people I know who do themes do it because they enjoy it -- it is a fun outlet for their creativity -- not because the are trying to out-do anyone. I have some relatives who are really creative and do the whole matching the family costumes to the MM theme down to the adorable poems -- and honesty none of them care what other people send or if theirs is nicer or more creative. I love getting emails of their poems and pictures (I live in EY while most of them live in the U.S. so I don't see it live) and it certainly doesn't create stress.

Of course if this is not your type of thing, then there is no reason to stress over it. But I don't know why you automatically assume that anyone who is trying to make a creative "Pinterest worthy" MM is automatically "freaking out" or being competitive.

notshanarishona

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 3:35 pm

amother wrote:

I am with you.
We go for simple , cheap, and nice looking and that is it.
If we work out a easy theme that doesn't take too much work, fine.
If not, also fine.

amother

Mauve

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 3:50 pm

I am not at all creative, so I don't do it. I live "in town" too, and I feel zero pressure. No one has ever noticed that I don't do the theme thing or anything fancy for that matter. And honestly, none of the people I know who do them are trying to outdo anyone, they genuinely enjoy doing it. Most of the pressure is self inflicted, IMO. Most theme doers are doing it because it's fun, not to be better than you. And people aren't thinking yours is nebby just because you kept it simple (in fact, most people are probably relieved because it's less junk to have to get rid of before Pesach).

glamourmom

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 3:56 pm

I think the OP is referring to the competition and pressure the not-so-creative pple feel that they need to live up to what others do/give. for the pple that enjoy it, go ahead have fun and enjoy. for those that are okay with not being creative and fancy (like me) kudos to you too. but for the pple that are stuck in my category and get stressed because they feel they need to do what their artistic friends and neigbors are doing, that's who she's addressing.

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 4:02 pm

A cute bow? Wow, you work harder than I do!

Sometimes we have a theme (just for the food, not matched to costumes) because it's fun to do. No poems.

We are fortunate to live in a community where MM is usually pretty low-key.

I have learned not to be embarrassed if I receive something grander than I gave, or if a neighbor delivers 50 and I only gave 10. Each family decides what works best for them.

imorethanamother

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 4:30 pm

I think MM in general is off the mark with what we are supposed to be doing - fostering love and care for each other. How is this principle being fostered if all we ever do is give to our family and close friends?

I've heard of Chabad types who just have a pesach style - anyone who wants to eat, let them join. That sounds amazing and so much more in line with what Purim should be.

m in Israel

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 4:40 pm

glamourmom wrote:

If OP is trying to say that people who don't want to do fancy MM shouldn't feel pressured to do them, then I agree. (I personally don't do the "themes" thing and feel no competition -- I pretty much give the same MM every year.)

That is not what she said.

She said "everyone" (except her) is "trying to one-up one another or freaking out over a creative theme". And that "seriously?" tacked on the end certainly sounds much more like she is being judgmental rather than saying "go ahead and have fun and enjoy if you enjoy it".

Ema of 5

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 4:49 pm

amother wrote:

That's so sad :-( no wonder they're are so many unhappy people out there....

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 4:52 pm

I got tired of trying to do amazing MM, so, this year we're just doing a few simple ones that will take less than an hour to put together.

But my kids have been working the past two weeks on putting together some nice gifts to give to some homeless people on Purim. They've stocked some backpacks with gift cards, hygiene items, non-perishable food supplies, warm socks, batteries, flashlights, first aid supplies, etc.

The kids have really put a lot of thought and effort into these and I am very very proud of them. I think that we could all benefit from putting more creative energy, time and effort into this mitzvah of Purim.

Faigy86

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 4:52 pm

amother wrote:

But why is it a competition? Who made it into a competition? Why do you need to participate?

Just feel confident in what you do/are/have and ignore everyone else.

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 5:13 pm

Faigy86 wrote:

But why is it a competition? Who made it into a competition? Why do you need to participate?

Just feel confident in what you do/are/have and ignore everyone else.

Personally, that is exactly what I do.

But others don't. It's a way of life. Living for the neighbors. Living for the shadchanim. Living for what everyone else will say.

How it happened? I wish it knew.

amother

Ivory

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 5:45 pm

amother wrote:

Op here. That's really nice and more in line with how it should be. And I certainly don't begrudge people that enjoy being creative and have lots of time to pull these together - what's annoying is the inappropriate pride in how "beautiful" or "fancy" something looks when that's not the point of the mitzvah at all.

gp2.0

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 6:20 pm

I compete with myself every year to make the simplest possible shalach manos that will still look beautiful. My strategy this year was making chocolate bark instead of mini bundt cakes and I drastically cut my prep time. Yay me! I win!

gp2.0

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 6:23 pm

amother wrote:

This is beautiful. Love it.

youngishbear

Mon, Mar 21 2016, 6:24 pm

My MM are always in closed containers so that the presentation does not require cellophane, glue, staples, or other supplies whose name I do not know. It's easy to put together and transport.

I try to get the liquor bottle to match the color scheme of the container. That's as far as my creativity goes.

BH my invitation to this competition got lost in the mail.