Protecting our kids- How to convey trust along with caution?

amother

Indigo

Tue, Mar 29 2016, 5:56 am

When your kids have adults in their lives that you would like them to be close to and they spend time alone with them, such as an uncle, rebbe, mentor, etc.... how do you convey to your child "we trust this man, but by the way tell me if he ever tries to touch you inappropriately"?

Laiya

Tue, Mar 29 2016, 8:10 am

I think it's important to teach children the rules. We adults know the rules. We understand normal boundaries. You may trust your uncle, but you also know that if the couch is empty, it's not "normal" for him to sit so close to you that your thighs are touching, for example.

As adults, we also know how to respond when someone violates a boundary: Step back, be cautious, don't put yourself into a situation of possible danger (ex. a closed-in aisle at the back of an empty store with one other shopper--possibly unsafe).

Iow, it's not about fear or trust, it's about teaching appropriate boundaries.

Btw I personally don't ever use the words "we trust this person". The only people I want my children to fully 100% trust to have their best interests always at heart are their parents (possibly grandparents too)