Adoption and being a levi or a kohen

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 3:03 pm

I was wondering if anyone knew of any rabbanim who did not hold that if one adopts a boy and the father is a kohen or a levi the boy will not get to carry on what the father is?
We are looking into adoption and I would love to be able to adopt a boy or girl and not only look at girls, but my husband does not want to adopt a boy as the lineage would not carry through.
Anyone know of rabbanim who hold that the adopted child does carry on what the father is? Or is that really not heard of at all?

amother

Slategray

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 3:34 pm

Dunno if this helps. I was divorced. My son is a levy. My new dh is a yisroel. We never have issues with it. Ds is oileh latoireh as a levy.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 4:04 pm

amother wrote:

Dunno if this helps. I was divorced. My son is a levy. My new dh is a yisroel. We never have issues with it. Ds is oileh latoireh as a levy.

Thanks, but no, I dont think that helps at all. I mean, your son was conceived from a levi, so he is a levi, a step father is not the same as an adopted father. Of course such a situation would call for the son to be a levi.

grace413

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 4:06 pm

I don't think you'll find any rabbi who will say that an adopted child can take on Kohen/Levi status.

Girls are nice.

My DH is a Kohen and we adopted a boy and a girl. Yes, it can be an issue but not insurmountable IMHO. My DH and DS are very close.

Wishing you hatzlacha.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 4:09 pm

grace413 wrote:

So your son doesnt feel bad, or weird, every time there is duchening?

amother

Emerald

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 4:15 pm

Someone we know is a Kohen & adopted several children. One son asked his father not to come to minyan at his school as then all the classmates would notice that father is a Kohen & son is not.

I suppose it's going to be an issue at bar mitzvah & thereafter son might opt not to daven w father on Shabbos. But it's just one factor to consider.

Girls have their issues with yichud, depending on your posek. I'd be shocked if any Rov would allow an adopted son to 'self-identify' as Kohen or Levi...

grace413

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 4:15 pm

amother wrote:

So your son doesnt feel bad, or weird, every time there is duchening?

When he was younger it was more difficult - because people who didn't know he was adopted would say things and he was put in an awkward position. At his elementary school they sometimes asked fathers to come to make a minyan and my DH specifically didn't go so as not to publicize it.

Now he just accepts it: he's adopted, his father is a Kohen, he isn't. Just another fact of life. Plenty of other things for them to identify and bond with.

heidi

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 4:15 pm

I have a close friend whose husband is a kohen who adopted twin boys. They researched this issue extensively and there is no way of " making" her sons kohanim.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 4:29 pm

OP, if it makes your DH feel better, it is super hard to adopt a boy, even in the US. My parents specifically wanted a boy, and they had to wait 4 years for one to become available.

When DD's birth mother was expecting, she went to several adoption agencies to look at potential family profiles, and almost every single one of them said that they only wanted a boy. Not me. I was thrilled to pieces when I found out that we were going to have a girl! Lady

My DH is her step father, and he keeps very strict yichud with her, mainly out of respect for her privacy and dignity (no out of misplaced yiddishkeit or worrying about any weirdness happening.) He's always there for her if she wants to talk about anything.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 4:35 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

we are in israel, not the USA. I have no idea if it is hard to adopt a boy over a girl here, but I was hoping Sad

Raisin

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 5:51 pm

I don't think there is any way to make an adopted child a cohen or levi. Unless of course the baby's biological father is a cohen or levi. (and the mother was Jewish)

I don't think its a big deal since presumably you are not planning to keep the fact of adoption secret. (does anyone do that nowadays?) Also I'm a girl so not really involved with the whole aliya business...so I don't really get it.

Yichud could be an issue with a boy or girl. Girl is from a younger age but since mothers spend more time at home it could be more problematic with a boy. Ask your rav about this. Some hold yichud doesn't apply, some hold it does.

Hatzlacha!!! What an amazing opportunity to do such a special mitzva. I don't think your husband should give up on having a son because of this.

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 6:05 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

I'm just curious, why would people rather want boys?

If I were to adopt, I would most definitely want a girl.

doctorima

Sun, Jun 19 2016, 6:11 pm

There are major halachic ramifications of being a Levi or Yisrael, so even if some will hold that an adopted parent can become like a parent for certain leniencies such as touching and yichud, there would be no way to make a non-Kohen into a Kohen just by adopting them.

grace413

Mon, Jun 20 2016, 2:55 am

amother wrote:

we are in israel, not the USA. I have no idea if it is hard to adopt a boy over a girl here, but I was hoping Sad

Don't be sad. As I'm sure you know it is difficult to adopt in Israel. The people at sherut lmaan hayeled may or may not be sympathetic to your wanting a girl over a boy due to this issue.

I don't pretend to have nevua but I've found that a lot of things that people worry about before adopting wind up being non-issues. Things look very different once you have a longed for baby in your arms. And then other issues that you never thought of come up. Such is life.

The moment my children were put into my arms I became their mother and it didn't matter that I didn't birth them. They are young adults now and, as any parents, we have had our ups and downs. Some were related to adoption but most were not.

My advice (which obviously you can take or leave Very Happy

) is not to miss out on parenthood due to this issue.

Hatzlacha.

m in Israel

Mon, Jun 20 2016, 7:27 am

mommy3b2c wrote:

I'm just curious, why would people rather want boys?

If I were to adopt, I would most definitely want a girl.

It sounded like OP said she wanted the option of "boy or girl" rather than being limited to only a girl -- I.e. it's not that she davka preferred a boy but wanted to keep her options open (which will probably make it easier to find a child more quickly).

5mom

Mon, Jun 20 2016, 7:34 am

No, an adopted son cannot take on the Kohen or Levi status of his adoptive father. So what? It's only a problem if you think there's a stigma attached to adoption. I think adoptive parents are amazing baalei chesed and I imagine that so do lots of people. If someone asks why the father is a Kohen but the son is not, just say that he's adopted. End of story.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 11:25 am

Remember that an adopted girl (non Jewish) cannot marry a Kohen, either. That's another reason why it's important to tell kids about their history. Even if the girl is converted and confirms at bat mitzvah, she is still considered a giuress.

Miri7

Tue, Jun 21 2016, 1:16 pm

grace413 wrote:

I don't pretend to have nevua but I've found that a lot of things that people worry about before adopting wind up being non-issues. Things look very different once you have a longed for baby in your arms. And then other issues that you never thought of come up. Such is life.

The moment my children were put into my arms I became their mother and it didn't matter that I didn't birth them. They are young adults now and, as any parents, we have had our ups and downs. Some were related to adoption but most were not.

My advice (which obviously you can take or leave Very Happy

) is not to miss out on parenthood due to this issue.

Hatzlacha.

Yes, this!!