Aveil this year. Am I allowed to go out for Shabbos lunch

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amother

Azure

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 8:17 am

Is it allowed to be a guest or to have guests during the year if aveilus on my mother?

Chayalle

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 8:40 am

We definitely hosted guests during my year of Aveilus, since on Shabbos there is no public aveilus....DH was allowed to host, so were my kids, and I was there by default.

I was also told that if DH wants to be a guest at someone else, I can go along with him.

For all of these questions, ask your LOR.

PinkFridge

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 8:44 am

So sorry for you loss. It's not so b/w. Don't be embarrassed to ask a rav, repeatedly, as needed.
Essentially, no. But there are so many factors:
- Do you need help? Or do your guests need a place?
- Is this for kiruv purposes?
- Would your husband be very uncomfortable going somewhere without you?
- Is this family or regular guests?

HaMakom yenacheim eschem b'soch she'ar aveilei Tziyon vYrushalayim.

Rubber Ducky

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 8:51 am

Please ask your LOR because individual circumstances will affect the answer you get.

vicki

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 9:26 am

Definitely ask your LOR, but I have heard that you should limit your circle to two families: yours and one other, whether hosting or being entertained. That keeps it from being a party-like atmosphere.
Of course, if it is not something you are comfortable with, don't feel obligated.

5mom

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 9:53 am

Some do, some don't. As Chayalle said, there's no public availus on shabbos. How that's understood differs from place to place, so ask your rabbi.

amother

Babypink

Thu, Sep 15 2016, 9:59 am

definitely ask your rav. I was told not to go out(but I can host) while my sister was told she can go if there arent other guests there.
this is all a zchus for your mother. and good luck,its tough. but manageable

lech lecha08

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 1:02 am

Definitely ask your rav. When DH was in aveilut, he got a psak that the Purim seuda could be with guests. His brother who asked someone else was told no.

grace413

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 1:18 am

Just as an example of how personal circumstances are important here, I was single and living alone when my father died.

Nobody expected me eat alone on Shabbat for an entire year.

essie14

Fri, Sep 16 2016, 1:27 am

Literally every single person I know observes aveilut differently. You need to ask your LOR all your questions. There are no clear cut answers. It depends on many many factors and circumstances.

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