The girls who struggled most in class- what r they up to?

amother

Green

Sat, Oct 15 2016, 9:14 pm

Obviously a spinoff on the question about what the brightest girls in school are doing now... just wondering about the girls who struggled most in school. Did the ones in your class go on to be successes in other areas?? Did they surprise people, pursue a further education?

amother

Rose

Sat, Oct 15 2016, 9:28 pm

Yes I did. I was the only sibling in my family who struggled in school. I tried not to let it bother me bec I had friends and was popular either way but it hurt. Now I have my own business that I started on my own plus I am very good with making money on the side and just in general more street smart. I am able to handle bills and always coming up with another idea... I am able to do this all on my own with my husband in kollel.

kelsorino

Sat, Oct 15 2016, 9:52 pm

That was me!!! I would brag when I got over a 50 on a test BC it meant I got more than half right! I am now a proud owner of my own buissness and a SAHM. My best friend who was the brightest in the grade, and won cross country science contests and went to college to be an engineer is a SAHM and blogger. School is not real life and has does not show a realistic picture of how successful one will be in the real world.

amother

Lavender

Sat, Oct 15 2016, 10:58 pm

kelsorino wrote:

I disagree with you completely. Just because you and the other girl you mention seemed to end up the opposite of what would be expected doesn't mean that school isn't realistic or real world. You and the other girl were the exception. Usually the brightest girls (and guys) get the best grades and go on to college and have the better jobs. I'm sure statistically, people who graduate college earn more than non college grads.

mommy3b2c

Sat, Oct 15 2016, 11:12 pm

octopus wrote:

Why is being a sahm not considered successful? Some of the best and brightest people I know are sahms and they are outstanding mothers.

I keep wondering the same thing. Maybe I should start a spinoff.

amother

Turquoise

Sat, Oct 15 2016, 11:16 pm

amother wrote:

Intellectuals and college grads don't necessarily earn more. Doctors and lawyers may potentially earn more, but I know smart people who graduated with degrees like sociology, art history, economics, or literature for instance and do not use their degrees or when they do make very little. I'm one of the few people in my family with my Master's degree and I make the least. My cousin who dropped out of school in 6th grade and never went back makes the most money. It's ironic, but it does happen.

amother

Lavender

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 12:42 am

amother wrote:

And again, you're the exception, not the rule. OVERALL, college graduates make around 35% more than non college graduates.

amother

Lavender

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 12:50 am

octopus wrote:

Why is being a sahm not considered successful? Some of the best and brightest people I know are sahms and they are outstanding mothers.

Measuring the success of a sahm is very difficult. To be truly honest about it, sahm can range from lazy people who don't want to work, to woman that expertly manage the many aspects of running a family. If I meet 10 woman who I don't know at all, and each tells me they are a sahm, I have no idea which catagory they are in, the lazy one or the do it all one. If a woman tells me she is a doctor, a nurse, an engineer, or any type of professional that required a significant amount of time and effort, I immediately know she worked hard and earned something. Not so with sahm.

amother

Coffee

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 12:51 am

That was me! Struggled through school and today am confident, successful, raising a beautiful family and earning a lot more than my friends with degrees. Ok not a lot more but in the 225k range per year. Not every thing in life is about your grades in school.

octopus

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 1:59 am

amother wrote:

You can be a doctor, lawyer, scientist and that is certainly an accomplishment. However, sometimes ppl who are accomplished in their career life, can make poor marriage/parenting/relationship decisions. They can be lousy in that department. So how truly successful is the top lawyer who is, let's say, estranged from her children? I'm not saying that is the case for every successful person, but for ppl to say "oh the smartest girl in the class is a sahm, and I'm an accomplished xyz..." well, that is not really saying much in my book. I think the threads are very interesting, but it's really more about ambitions versus accomplishments. And the threads also reflect a real life sentiment that sahms are really not appreciated by society.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 2:17 am

When people say successful they usually mean professionally. Nobody can know how successful you are on the personal level. You may be married with 4 beautiful children, but your husband hasnt spoken to you for 2 years and your kids hate you, and you are miserable. While you can be a single 50 yr old and happy with life.
So success is usually measured by how far you got professionally. Could be financial or academic or status. But it's more objective than personal family happiness.

gold21

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 2:35 am

octopus wrote:

Wise words.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 3:02 am

octopus wrote:

Why is being a sahm not considered successful? Some of the best and brightest people I know are sahms and they are outstanding mothers.

I think it's not regarded as successful in the same way as a doctor, say, because you can be an amazing SAHM with just a solid high school education.
As others have stated, it's also really hard to judge who is a successful SAHM and who just stays home.
Most importantly, how can we judge if they are more successful moms than other moms????

It's true SAHMs are doing important work, but so are nurses and preschool teachers or even teachers in general.

I say this as someone who works in one of the above professions myself. I feel I am doing something important, but someone with half the SAT scores I got could do the same.

amother

Blonde

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 7:32 am

I did not do well in school at all. I did very poorly until 9th grade when my comprehension and grades improved slightly.

Surprisingly I and another very weak student decided to take some programming courses and both did well. I'm a sr software engineer and she has a great programming job. Personally I take jobs that aren't heavy in difficult math (like calculus).
Plus I work from my home so I'm also a WAHM and my babies stay home with me b'h.

amother

Sapphire

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 10:09 am

I heard this recently and it really resonated:

The former A students are tutoring the children of the former B students in the buildings owned by the C student...

IOW, because you were smart in school, does NOT mean you are smart in business. I am very intellectual, but I am not business-savvy. I cannot earn a lot of money because I am afraid of risk to open my own business (too much logic getting in the way), cannot sell myself well to companies (I don't do well socially), and lack the ambition to get a degree (can't even decide in which field, I narrowed it down to 2 choices but the technicalities are hindering me such as childcare arrangements, paying tuition etc. OTOH, when DH was in college, I thrived on helping him understand his lessons, helped him with his homework and could have passed all his tests with better marks than he ...

sequoia

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 10:38 am

amother wrote:

Exactly.

OOTBubby

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 10:45 am

Not me, but a DS of mine had a friend in his class, who first of all was a year older because they'd kept him back at some point, and second of all barely functioned educationally and was by far at the bottom (this is elementary school). He was a nice boy, but general regarded as a lo yitzlach type. Well, today he is a tremendously successful businessman and one of the major askonim in his age group. All of my boys who grew up with him have commented, that X is the last one we'd have expected to be in this position today.

amother

Lavender

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 11:01 am

amother wrote:

It's a nice story, but factually inaccurate. Why is it so hard to accept that in general terms, overall, the students that did well in high school probably went to better colleges and probably have better paying jobs? Do you really believe there is no correlation between doing well in high school and getting a better job? Even more so, you're trying to argue that there is a correlation between doing poorly and then becoming financially successful. Ridiculous!

dancingqueen

Sun, Oct 16 2016, 11:09 am

amother wrote:

It's a very popular trope on imamother. You don't need to do well in school/go to college since you can just start a business and get rich. Sure, some people can. But my upper middle class/upper class neighborhood is filled with people with high level degrees.