How much did you tip your sons rebbe?

amother

Mint

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 4:57 pm

amother wrote:

Yes I will probably also give $100 for purim. Also already gave $100 in begining of school year and an $80 baby gift. Not rich at all but feel it's important to be thankful to the Rebbe. It also helps that he will be more responsive if I ever need anything.

Also a related question should be, what the school's tuition is, and whether this is typical in your school. Just curious if people who tip so generously also have tuitions just under the $10,000 per year mark.

amother

Mauve

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 5:01 pm

amother wrote:

Tuition is about 8k a year. I tipped $250 in the beginning of the year to rebbe and $200 to therapist (10 hours a week) because my son is amazing but is a bit difficult in the classroom because of ADHD etc.. nothing for Morah bec she is there about 2 hours a day and she had been in vacation for a while and he hadn't really had her much by yomim tovim time.

I plan to tip again now. Probably around $200/$250 for rebbe and $180 for morah and therapist

I also give for Purim. Bh we are comfortable and we are big believers in not skimping on education and educators

amother

Rose

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 5:10 pm

OMG I am floored! I could never afford such gifts!!

between all my kids and all the teachers, giving 100-150 each would means thousands for Chanukah and for purim. That's nuttso!

When my husband taught -he got a sefer, cookies and like 3 kids (out of a lot of kids) gave a monetary gift of maybe 20-25.

I am therapist in public schools. last year I got chachkies and lots of treif cookies. This year - nothing.

This is crazy, my friends. We are setting yet another standard that many ppl can't live up to -or will go into debt keeping with everyone else.

Thank you cards work very well. This has to stop.

amother

Indigo

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 5:10 pm

I'm giving $150 to my sons rebbi. My son has never been so happy by another rebbi so I really feel that this rebbi deserves it. Other years I gave $100 or skipped a Chanuka tip and gave $100 Purim.

amother

Seashell

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 5:19 pm

I also give same for purim as chanukah and also in the beginning of the year. I don't think it should stop. Noone needs to give more then their means, rebbeim are making peanuts and have families to support. I'd rather give money to those who spend time with my children every day then random organizations.
Morahs are different. Many are significantly younger then rebbeim and don't have full families or may even be single girls. I do the chip in of $18 & send along a small gift. They spend less time with my girls (shorter school day for girls in lakewood) and don't work on Sundays.

Simple1

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 5:21 pm

amother wrote:

Yes. I am also in Lakewood and regular middle class. I am a school based therapist and see how important it is to show appreciation. I know that I subconsciously put in more effort with students that have given even a nice card. The rabbeim work really hard and I feel that it is money well spent. It is an investment for my sons.

It's always nice to give/get appreciation. But it's not fair to give less to a child who's mother didn't have it together enough to give something. If you are getting paid (either from them or the government), you should do your job.

Don't have boys with a Rebbe at this time. But $100 seems like . . .A LOT.

thunderstorm

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 5:59 pm

I only have boys and we give either $50 on Chanukah and $50 on Purim or I give $100 just on Purim. At a certain age the boys have multiple rebbeim and it becomes a huge challenge. I give the bus driver $20. One of my boys schools has a Purim program where the school sends a big Shalach manos to each staff member other than the rebbes and you can chip in about $3.00 per package and they put your. And that you contributed. But they expect you to give the rebbes privately. It seems very customary. There are people I know that give their sons rebbeim $100 every Rosh Chodesh! I always write a personal poems as well. One year I didn't have any money for tips but I still wrote a nice thank you poem and sent it to show my appreciation even though I was not able to enclose the tip

amother

Papaya

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 8:49 pm

gold21 wrote:

Rebbe 150

Teacher part of a joint gift for 25

??

Does that make sense to you?

There is no option of a joint gift for the rebbeim and my son has had special needs so I feel the need to tip above average (average is around 100.)

amother

Papaya

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 8:50 pm

amother wrote:

Yes . My tuition is around 5k

amother

Turquoise

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 9:12 pm

I am amazed that so many people don't blink at the thought of giving 150 for every kid's rebbe twice - or even three times! - a year.

To me it sounds like borderline bribery.

I'm not arguing that rebbeim don't deserve every penny. But like a pp said, not everyone can afford that. It's setting a standard not everyone can maintain. Gosh, soon we'll need takkanos for tips!

Just out of curiosity, all those who tip 200 a year or more, do you pay full tuition? Because if I could tip $100+ for each rebbe three times a year, I would first get off scholarship. And several posters who tip generously said they live in Lkwd, where in many schools, more than 90% of the parent body is on scholarship.... Just wondering

gold21

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 9:15 pm

amother wrote:

Can you explain that again? I still dont understand. I know many Morahs who are grown-ups with families. (No, I'm not a Morah Wink

) How much shorter is the school day anyway?

It's always better to increase a Rebbe's salary than to encourage tipping and gifting, because although you have no problem with this setup, someone else who is struggling to make ends meet is at a disadvantage.

Tipping in general is silly. A waxing is 10 dollars.... Except it isn't, because there's a pretty-much-mandatory tip. So it's not really 10 dollars at all. Increase the price of the waxing and eliminate the tip, which isn't optional anyway.

amother

Ginger

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 9:35 pm

I'm giving $180 now, gave 100-150 rosa hashana, I forgot. I will give again Purim and end of year. Teacher (young married) I'm chipping in for gift. I'd normally give my own gift as well, maybe $36, but not so impressed with her devotion. It took three calls to get her to call me back 🙄.

The Rebbi has a family, spends hrs with my kid, is extremely devoted, and does not get paid well. If we can afford it (not super wealthy, it's just a priority) then why not? No one should feel pressure, it's all anonymous, and no one should ever give beyond their means!!

This is third grade in Lakewood, paying full tuition.

amother

Copper

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 9:38 pm

As a wife of a Rebbe I just want to mention that yes, we do factor in tips in our yearly budget.

Every gesture of thanks infuses him with energy and oomph.

Since the gift giving is done privately there is no competition between parents as to who should give what or how much. It is nice that people who have the means share it with those who extend themselves for their child's education.

Those who can't afford it just give less or don't give.

Rebbes are usually selfless souls.

gold21

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 9:42 pm

amother wrote:

Think of it this way- if you were tight for some reason (just made a simcha or something? I dunno), would YOU feel comfortable giving within your means, say, 30 dollars, when everyone else is giving 100-150?

amother

Papaya

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 9:46 pm

amother wrote:

I certainly do pay full tuition and I'm not rolling in money at all. My priorities include tuition (and Rebbe appreciation) before other things.

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Dec 25 2016, 9:48 pm

gold21 wrote:

Can you explain that again? I still dont understand. I know many Morahs who are grown-ups with families. (No, I'm not a Morah Wink

Not better for the rebbe. Salary is taxed. Cash in envelopes is not. (Unless they report this income but I'd be floored if that ever happens).