Abuse vs Nasty/taking advantage boss

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Forum -> Working Women

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amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:04 am

I work under a frum boss. I get less than $2000/month I work from 9-5 as a receptionist. I am owed half of the money from the Month of November. My workmates are being paid on time. I get paid later probably because I have no kids yet. They added descriptions to my job- I was hired as a receptionist-phone calls and copies and typing. Now he added bookkeeping without a raise. And if anything goes sour it's my fault. (They also never trained me into the job properly). I also have to fight for Chanukah/midwinter/3days off between day camp and school vacation. Everyone else gets off no problem. My boss gave me a project (getting all 30 employees legal documents together) that again wasn't my job and she expected me to finish it in 24 hours and I told her I tried to finish it . She tells me if it's not finished before Chanukah vacation then I don't get any vacation.
I get yelled at , criticized or questioned if something is their fault or if something didn't come out 100% to "their" liking. If I go to the bathroom and the phone rang and of course I could not answer I get yelled at. If the bell rings and I was at the other end of the building and didn't hear it I get yelled at that I must be by my desk the whole time. If a customer comes and gets service but something happens to the payment for whatever reason which is not in my control I get threatened that I have to pay for it.
Is this abuse or taking advantage or just simply a nasty boss? Please give me clarity. Am I oversensitive?

Talya

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:06 am

Sounds like you are being singled out for the nasty treatment. I'd stop showing up until I got paid. Unless you are really desperate to even be owed the money. It is NOT a normal situation.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:19 am

Talya wrote:

Sounds like you are being singled out for the nasty treatment. I'd stop showing up until I got paid. Unless you are really desperate to even be owed the money. It is NOT a normal situation.

Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. My question is-would you call this abuse or just nasty?

Chayalle

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:25 am

Why is there a need for differentiation? Your boss is nasty, and she is abusing you.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:36 am

I am asking because I had a discussion and someone told me maybe anyone who treats me nasty I call abusive. And its nasty not abuse the way I am treated at work. But I am the type to judge people favorably. I was in abusive situations before and it took me a while to realize I was being abused. I am asking people who are out the situation.

wondergirl

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:47 am

Your boss def sounds like a bully and even a narc if she is singling you out and treating you differently than anyone else. Not sure you have legal grounds to stand on as you are presumably the same religion, gender, race, etc. but you can look at the laws to verify that.

I believe these are federal laws, feel free to find the laws in your state by googling it-- http://www.workplacefairness.o.....osses

There are also laws about not being paid, check it out-- http://www.workplacefairness.o.....ges#1

This article may also help you learn how to deal with an unfair boss-- http://smallbusiness.chron.com......html

Last edited by wondergirl on Mon, Jan 30 2017, 12:27 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Lilac

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:49 am

amother wrote:

As described you are being taken advantage of, and your boss is breaking the law by not paying you, or threatening to withhold vacation, and discriminating against you based on your status as single. Is it worth making a legal case against her? Likely not - move on, and find a better situation for yourself.

gibberish

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:57 am

Time to find another job.

moonstone

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 12:08 pm

Your boss is abusive (yelling at you for not answering the phone BECAUSE YOU'RE IN THE BATHROOM??? SERIOUSLY????) and I would start looking for another job right now.

ora_43

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 12:16 pm

amother wrote:

So you're asking if specifically the word "abusive" applies?

In general people tend to use the term "workplace bullying" and not "workplace abuse," because "abuse" tends to imply a different type of relationship than the boss-employee relationship.

But really, as previous posters said, what's most relevant is that your boss' behavior as you describe it is not acceptable, and it sounds like a very hostile workplace.

amother

Firebrick

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 12:17 pm

I would say find another job.
You dont have to take this..

justmarried

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 12:18 pm

I would look for another job. My first job out of school was like this. I lasted a month and then quit. It is such a horrible feeling to go into work just to be miserable. You can't compare it to enjoying your work.

What are the positives of this job? If there aren't any major ones def look elsewhere.

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 5:29 pm

Thank you all for your support!

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 6:50 pm

justmarried wrote:

My workmates are a good mixture and most of them are nice.

allthingsblue

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 6:52 pm

Leave now before you have kids and will be more desperate for the job security.
Find a better place.

amother

Aqua

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:00 pm

Your boss is nasty and especially since she is frum, it is even worse for her to be treating you like this!!

I can tell you from my experience which is that my boss is also like this to me but pays me on time. I can't quit because I am in desperate need for my income to pay my family's bills, but if you could find another job, then leave.

I do think every job has pros and cons and many times bosses mistreat their workers because the "power goes to their head" or they can't deal with the pressure so they take it out on their workers

Sorry you are going through this.
Hatzlacha

MrsEsther

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:12 pm

That's a tough workplace, I'd quit!
It's time to look for another job. When one door closes the next door opens.
Much hatzlacha!!

amother

Dodgerblue

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 9:44 pm

My question is how will I know that I am not exaggerating something that happens in a typical workforce?

Chayalle

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 10:01 pm

My first boss was perhaps as nasty as yours. A real piece of work, and the worst of it is you find yourself second guessing yourself and thinking maybe it's normal, and maybe you shouldn't be so sensitive, and maybe it's really your fault (you is me in this post.)

It wasn't until I finally quit my job after 2 years of realizing I was going to get nowhere with it....and starting another job (I got the 2nd job and then gave notice to my boss, who promptly had a temper tantrum worthy of the most explosive two year old you have ever known) that I realized what a normal job situation is like. A boss who thanks you and appreciates you, who encourages you to take well-deserved vacation, who actually gives you a nice raise at a set time (being paid wasn't an issue for me because I was a salaried employee, but at my first job I got blamed for the mistake of my supervisor, who was in cahoots with my very nasty manager.....)

I think we get caught up in a situation, and we convince ourselves that that's just how it is. But it doesn't have to be. The things you write are not a normal situation. You deserve better.

zaq

Mon, Jan 30 2017, 11:11 pm

Polish up your resume and get your job hunt in gear NOW. what you describe is not typical workplace behavior. Some of it is actually illegal. Get out while you still have a shred of self preservation and self esteem left.

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