Wife choosing the names

greentiger

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 4:26 am

DH was just speaking to a Rav he holds very highly of, and was told that the wife should always be the one to choose the baby names since she recieves a special ruach hakodesh.

We were kinda head to head till now whenever trying to find a name so I think this is really cool!

Cheers

drumjj

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 4:31 am

I think that is very cool my husband always chooses the name as he always hates the names I chose so im going to tell him that next time we have a child!! pg!

BeershevaBubby

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 4:34 am

Marriage is a partnership and part of a partnership is compromise.

When we were deciding on the first and second name for our son, DH and I both had names we wanted. Some of his choices I didn't like and others I did. And some of my choices he didn't like (including my grandfather's z"l name) and others he did.

With the names we were left with, we compromised on a first name and I asked him what he thought of a particular name for the baby's second name. He liked it and that's how we named our son.

greentiger

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 4:36 am

Kmelion wrote:

Marriage is a partnership and part of a partnership is compromise.

I agree, and I would never choose a name that DH doesn't like, but in general he is more open to my style now that the rav told him that it's how it should be. Smile

HooRYou

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 5:09 am

I think that while the mother may be more tuned in to the baby both parents really receve the ruach ha kodesh. With our child we knew what one of the names would be and had come up with a lot of combinations. After the birth I knew exactly which combo to use and although DH had said at first he didn't like it when I told him what I thought the name should be he said it was perfect too.

shalhevet

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 5:13 am

That's strange - I'm sure I learned that both parents have ruach hakodesh. Not only that but the accepted minhagim are for parents to take turns in choosing names.

I'm just interested - did anyone have disagreements when starting to think of a name AFTER the baby was already born? I have a feeling the ruach hakodesh only works then. (Ie, not when you already discussed it and disagreed before and then continued to disagree.)

Nicole

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 11:08 am

shalhevet wrote:

I'm just interested - did anyone have disagreements when starting to think of a name AFTER the baby was already born? I have a feeling the ruach hakodesh only works then. (Ie, not when you already discussed it and disagreed before and then continued to disagree.)

I'm with you on this one! Dh was SET on a certain name if it was a girl- I wasn't so into it but as time went on, I kind of agreed because I felt if it meant so much to him, so be it. When dd was born we both took one look at her and we knew that the name we had decided on just didn't fit her.
We chose something else quite easily!

chocolate moose

Tue, Sep 18 2007, 11:38 am

I've heard gthat some have the minhag that the wife chooses first, or vice versa.

Ruchel

Wed, Sep 19 2007, 2:53 pm

In some families there is almost no choice, you name after a dead or living relative and that's it, except when you give a name that is symbolic of something that happened around the birth (holiday, event...). I wonder how ruach ha kodesh works there (just curious).

Dh and I chose together, although I did the Jewish name and he did the secular. We decided it was ok to veto a "I like it" name, but not a family name because then the choice is much deeper than the sound. We decided the name much before birth, actually when we were dating LOL

TammyTammy

Wed, Sep 19 2007, 3:00 pm

We also always agreed on a name. Neither my DH nor I would consider taking a name over the veto of the other.

That being said, I feel I have to share the best tip for picking a child's name that I ever heard:

When you finally decide on a name, go out to your backyard and yell it out at the top of your lungs; because that's how you're going to be hearing it for the next eighteen years. Smile

Tammy

boruchhashem

Wed, Sep 19 2007, 3:45 pm

By my baby last year, I thought of a name, but didn't dare mention it to my dh, bec. I already had most of the kids named for my side of the family. But, one week b4 she was born, I asked dh to please decide on a name, since I didn't want to be shocked. He told me, he is thinking of a name, but doesn't want to tell me. After much coaxing, he finally said, I think I want to give Nechama, since we waited for her for so long. I started laughing, cuz that was the name I was thinking of, but was afraid to ask him to give it, since noone in either of our families are named like that. We just both felt that we had to give this name. How is that for ruach hakodesh? "Boruchhashem"