Sister not coming to DD's Bat Mitzvah

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Apr 27 2017, 9:53 pm

I didn't read the whole thread.

Your sister probably didn't want to make a plan revolving around a birth earlier than now - she wanted to get into the 2nd trimester before doing that. I would not feel comfortable talking about that in a first trimester either. She cannot be blamed for not telling you earlier. "knowing she is pregnant since January" doesn't mean anything.

And she might think that breaking up a family with such a young baby is not a good thing - it particularly may be too much for her, the new mommy, who needs help.

When my family that is far away has an event - they always say "we don't expect you to come." Often, we do anyway, but the attitude should be that there is no pressure. My brother didn't come for my son's bris and I was sad, but I just pressed through the disappointment and moved on with my busy life.

Also, when we make a simcha, my family is likely to all fly out and my husband's family wouldn't. There can be different strokes for different folks. I just accept that each has their own style and that all this pressure doesn't do anyone any good. Appreciate who can come and enjoy.

BH for simchas. Mazel tov to you and bsha tova to your sister.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Apr 27 2017, 10:33 pm

My brother-in-laws did not make for my youngest sons Bar Mitzvah. I should have been mad, especially because it was their late brothers son. Bad enough, my DS could not have his Abba around. They could not come because each of them recently had started new jobs and could not take off. I could have been mad, but you know what??!! I had to be realize, that they would have been there if they could. When they told me why they could not attend. I shrugged my shoulders, was a little upset. But what could I do about it??!! Life goes on.