Naming after vs. choosing names you like

Yakira

Mon, Oct 08 2007, 12:34 pm

catonmylap wrote:

We will only use names we like, especially as the first name. I have less issues with the middle name if it is a normal name.

I think it's perfectly okay to name after someone but not use the exact name.

We named ds after my grandmother (obviously changed the name) and his middle name is after dh's grandfathers.

I would never give my kids a yiddish name. I was named after 2 great-grandmothers but their names were made into Hebrew from Yiddish.

If a relative already named after the person, I feel we are relieved from having to name after them.

I think the name has to fit the baby---I told my husband the name we chose wasn't final till we saw him--he totally didn't get that concept.

Yes, I agree, and the more babies that are named for that relative, the less pressure I feel to name it as well. That's the only reason I'm even considering not naming a baby girl after one of my grandmas.

NotInNJMommy

Mon, Oct 08 2007, 4:39 pm

We didn't name ds after a relative, though we could have. It just didn't fit. We just knew it wasn't his name.

Also with dd, they all wanted us to name after a great grandmother...but no one knew her name. Then when they "figured" it out... (ie. made it up) they forgot it was one of my names and had the chutzpah to ask us to change the baby's name...(she was named before they knew she was born bc of it was shabbos)

I mean, I wouldn't do it to shock...but if we just don't think it's the child's name....it's not the child's name. Most families get over it soon enough, bc BH babies are cute.

small bean

Mon, Oct 08 2007, 4:50 pm

I named my DD Rena, cuz I always liked the name. all the names on my dh's side I dont like (my inlaws were definitley insulted a little bit) on my side all the names were used tons of times and I was just sick of them. my parents were fine with it. they say if your old enough to have a baby then you are old enough to decide the name.

Isramom8

Mon, Oct 08 2007, 5:06 pm

We have done all of the following for different children:

Used a relative's name and added an additional name
Used a relative's name alone
Used names that were very loosely based on the relative's names
Changed a relative's name from Yiddish to Hebrew
Changed a relative's name slightly
Used names we just thought fit the child

My brother and sister in law have:

Combined names to name after two relatives at once
Used a name they just like and added a relative's names to it

Family members who are flexible and accepting were happy no matter what. Family members who are inflexible and controlling were never satisfied. Even when we named and called the child after the person he wanted, one family member complained that the child's friends and siblings often use only the middle name (the one we just liked).

Try to please the relatives but make sure the name also feels right to you.

An aside is that I have nothing whatsoever against Yiddish names in theory, but could never bring myself to give one to any of my children. Maybe it's because I live in Israel.

Maya

Mon, Oct 08 2007, 5:14 pm

Our family had this discussion a few months ago when my grandfather passed away. His name is really not a pretty name, and one that many of us can't stand. So the question was - do you honor your grandfather (and mother) by giving the name, or rather not make a child be embarrased with a weird name?

Of course, my mom said you give the grandfather's name no matter what. But most of us kids said no way, only as a second name that won't be called.

I'm not sure what I would do.