The Morah took away my 6 yr olds shoes

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Mauve

Mon, May 08 2017, 1:25 am

He wore a sandal type shoe to school as part of a special presentation to his class. He was so excited. The principal, via morah "a" contacted me and let me me know that sandals are not allowed in school, and if he wears them again he will be sent home. I called the principal to talk further about this, since no where in the school code does it talk about my sons grades clothing guidelines, and we didn't ever get verbal guidelines either. so he let me know that sandals are NEVER allowed. ok, so now I know. ( Rolling Eyes

)

fast forward 2 weeks later and via my sons friend, we found out that morah "b", the morah whose class my son gave the special presentation involving the sandals, actually made him remove his sandals and he went shoeless for the rest of the day, about 3-4 hours.

Personally, I am livid. its like stripping away his dignity. its making something small into something big and public. its an archaic punishment. she could have called me to see if someone could bring in different shoes. she could have told him Sandals are not allowed so please dont wear them to school. What is the lesson here? why this punishment? how does this mistake warrant this consequence? I'm sure he left school that day feeling bad and weird and punished. and then he didn't even tell me. I am so hurt for him. he was so excited to be a big part of that days lesson. couldn't she see that? And then how could she not even tell me about this at all? no note, nothing.

What is your take on the morah making him go shoeless? and then, what would you do?

MagentaYenta

Mon, May 08 2017, 1:31 am

amother wrote:

...
Personally, I am livid..
What is your take on the morah making him go shoeless? and then, what would you do?

I have my head examined to see why I thought it was a good idea to pay thousands of $$ per year so my kid could be dehumanized in such a way.

amother

Lavender

Mon, May 08 2017, 1:38 am

I feel so bad for ur ds! Besides being disappointed he was probably rlly embarrassed in front of his peers.
Some people are just dumb and should not be in chinuch- I'm not a good person to give advice because this isn't even my kid and I'm mad. I probably would have called up and yelled at her and then demanded she apologize to my son and explain to him that she was wrong to do what she did.

seeker

Mon, May 08 2017, 1:43 am

Absolutely crazy. In addition to all the other things already said plus those that go without saying, my overarching policy regarding young children and what they wear is that the parents are ultimately in charge of what the children wear. 6-year-olds don't go shopping for their own footwear. Therefore one should never penalize a young child for anything they wear. Kids that age do often get dressed on their own and make minor wardrobe decisions, so it would be appropriate to gently let him know to choose closed shoes next time, but beyond that just call the parents.

Not to mention I would consider it a safety issue to have a kid in school with no shoes.

Basically everything about this smacks of poor taste and worse judgment.

amother

Cobalt

Mon, May 08 2017, 1:45 am

How do you know that his shoes were for sure taken off? Just because he said so? Did you actually see the shoes off the kids feet?
I will never forget how my classmate mom phone started ringing in middle of class Because by accident she brought her moms (flip) phone (circa 2004??) The teacher told the girl to call her mother with a quarter by the pay phone and tell her mother that she has the phone.
This story with the Sandal's are different. You are definitely missing a piece to the puzzle.
Wishing you luck in finding the missing piece.

mommy3b2c

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:04 am

amother wrote:

Your story makes sense in this context, how exactly?

To op,I don't think I would keep my child in a school that treats the kids like animals.

amother

Gold

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:25 am

amother wrote:

This definitely sounds like a crazy story.
I would say wait a day or 2 to calm down, then call the teacher in the calmest way possible.
Dont accuse.
Just say you want to talk to her about what happen, and to understand the story.
If she does say that the story you heard is correct- then I give you complete Permission to loose it on her Smile

Best of luck!!

Chayalle

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:26 am

I would be really upset about something like this.

I'm just wondering, is this in Israel? Is the culture different?

amother

Mauve

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:38 am

Chayalle wrote:

I would be really upset about something like this.

I'm just wondering, is this in Israel? Is the culture different?

nope. Big city, USA. Yeshivish School.

Amarante

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:39 am

I don't understand why bare feet are better than sandals.

And I would be very upset because there are health and safety issues when children don't wear shoes with soles.

FranticFrummie

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:40 am

I would go through the roof! Good for you for coming here first to get perspective. I don't know if I would be able to contain myself.

If sandals are against the dress code, how is going barefoot an improvement?

Someone needs to educate that school about what the Chofetz Chaim says about shaming another Jew. Mad

amother

Goldenrod

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:49 am

I'm confused about the sandals and the "presentation". Were the sandals part of a costume or something?

Regardless, making a kid go shoeless is not okay at all. Embarrassing a child - awful.

I'd call the teacher to confirm that this happened. Then, if/when confirmed, I'd ask to meet with the principal to discuss. Either the teacher is reprimanded or the principal backs her up. If the principal backs up this behavior, my kid will be enrolled elsewhere.

DrMom

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:50 am

Amarante wrote:

I don't understand why bare feet are better than sandals.

And I would be very upset because there are health and safety issues when children don't wear shoes with soles.

This. What if he had stepped on something sharp and gotten cut?

sourstix

Mon, May 08 2017, 10:59 am

um I dont even know what to say......no words......

Miri7

Mon, May 08 2017, 11:05 am

This is just beyond. How awful for your DS. Typically when there's a dress code violation that needs to be addressed immediately, which this doesn't sound like - he wasn't wearing a tank top to school - the school will loan the child an item of clothing or call the parents and ask them to drop off some appropriate clothing.

I can't believe that the morah did this and all the other staff who saw this let this go on. How awful.

amother

Ginger

Mon, May 08 2017, 11:13 am

The source for your information about your shoeless child is another six year old child, am I getting this right? Did you ask your own child about it? Ask the teacher?

Raisin

Mon, May 08 2017, 11:23 am

I would be very worried about the judgement of this teacher.

amother

Mauve

Mon, May 08 2017, 11:24 am

amother wrote:

The source for your information about your shoeless child is another six year old child, am I getting this right? Did you ask your own child about it? Ask the teacher?

yes, exactly. my sons friend kept saying and laughing you were barefoot! I asked what he meant and he said my son had no shoes on the whole class. my son confirmed, he had to put his sandals in a bag and he was able to put them on when it was time for the bus. my plan, when I first talk to the teacher, is to ask what happened. I am beyond dreading this conversation and what tough choices might follow.

Dandelion1

Mon, May 08 2017, 12:09 pm

I feel so sad for your son. How degrading to have your shoes taken away and be barefoot. I'm not sure if in 15 years of kids in schools I have called more than once or twice with an "issue" to question, but I would definitely call about this!

But like others said, start with a request that the teacher tell you what happened first.

amother

cornflower

Mon, May 08 2017, 12:31 pm

amother wrote:

The source for your information about your shoeless child is another six year old child, am I getting this right? Did you ask your own child about it? Ask the teacher?

I was about to write this. I agree the mom really needs to call the school before jumping to conclusions. I'm sure there is more to the story. I realize we have 2 six year olds who are confirming, but I'm amazed that the mom here didn't contact the school and hear their side.

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