Moving to a house with no other jews in the area

amother

Papaya

Tue, May 09 2017, 11:29 pm

Would you take a chance and move to a house that Is not near any other frum Jews now but hopefully Jews Will follow? We have an option to buy such a house. The closest shul is a 35 minute walk. It's a great price and a big house. Wwyd?

amother

Aquamarine

Tue, May 09 2017, 11:46 pm

Op I'm guessing that you are taking about Toms River. And if you are not I'll use Toms River as an example so you can think of the pros and cons.

It's a big decision to make because:

1. Who is to say that Toms River will branch out to the area you are buying in. Toms River is so big that it can branch in any direction. I don't know if you remember ten years ago when people started buying in chestnut. It took eight years for chestnut to become a good area and in the beginning people were selling their house st a loss.

2. They say that the market is dropping if it does less people will move to Toms River and stay in Lakewood if t becomes more affordable.

3. Do you have kids because how will it affect your kids for at least two to three years until you have neighbors. Every shabbos them playing with non jews. You have to think is it worth the 100k savings for my kids to have it hard for two or three years until it's a good neighborhood.

4. Will the crowd thet moves in be your type?

5. Will it bother you being alone with no neighbors for two or three years.

6. Is it better to get not as nice house but be with frum people or a huge house with no neighbors.

These are just some things to think about.

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, May 10 2017, 12:41 am

I wouldn't. I did it and it was a disaster. I never ended up making it to shul so I didn't get a chance to integrate into the frum community. Dh didn't go to shul on Shabbos if the weather didn't comply. My kids had no one to play with on Shabbos (or even during the week) and it made things really hard. The neighbors weren't very welcoming either. They were quite nasty, actually. I don't think it had much to do with us being frum (not an area with any issues between the frum population and everyone else) but I really don't know why they had it in for us.

FranticFrummie

Wed, May 10 2017, 2:50 am

If you have kids, the answer is a big NO.

I used to live in a frum community, in the eruv. Still, there were no girls around my daughter's age where she could walk to them by herself. Her BFF was a girl her age who lived around the corner. The BFF was a nice girl, but very non Jewish. DD was constantly wanting to go over there on Shabbos and Yom Tov to watch videos, and she was very upset that she couldn't use her friend's computer or iPad at her house on those days.

As she got older, she used to lie to me and say that she had an apple as a snack over there, when in fact she was eating treif. The girl's parents didn't know better, and DD told them that it was OK. DD didn't tell me until years later.

LittleDucky

Wed, May 10 2017, 3:02 am

It would really depend on the details... Like everything in life! We had a similar choice to make... Get a bigger place just outside the "accepted borders" of the community or a MUCH smaller place closer. In the end we chose the closer place because one was suddenly available and was what we needed. The other places had major issues (inspections had plumbing, electrical, structural, roof and many other issues) or were not functional.or were ridiculously far from shul. Spent more for less but I am happy. Yes, there are times I want a yard, a swing set for the kids, and a bit more privacy. Many times to be honest. But we aren't moving for a LONG time.
Why are you moving? Are there any frum Jews around? Can the kids walk to friends? Is there anyone between the shul and your place? A 10-15 minute walk isn't bad to go to friends... But depends on your climate as well... 15 Minutes in 3 feet of snow is way different than 70 degrees (or high humidity, consistent rain, 5 degrees, 110 degrees...).

thanks

Wed, May 10 2017, 7:19 am

I moved to an area with very few families. It really took off and is now a great neighborhood.

How about you try it, and if it doesn't take off, sell your house in 2-3 years. (depending how long you can hold out and wait.) It's a lot of work to move, but I see people in my community moving around to get a bigger or better house.

Also, could you start a minyan in your house for Friday nights? Are there enough pple close by for that? If not now, then maybe sometime soon. That could really help a neighborhood take off.

amother

Tan

Wed, May 10 2017, 8:32 am

It's really hard to know. You have to know yourself and your habits, and know that it may be isolating to live that far from shul. You have to be willing to brave the nasty weather some days, and to make the extra effort to get to know people. On the other hand, it can be nice to be away from all the yentas Smile

.

We moved not too long ago to a house that is in a different direction than most people live, but about 3/4 mile from shul. We're hoping that more will move in, but in the meantime we're not too far to invite people, and we can see people when we want to--we kind of like being the only Jews on our block (there are some a few blocks away, though).

amother

Aubergine

Wed, May 10 2017, 9:31 am

I wouldn't do it. Jews need Jews near each other as frantic pointed out.

Even if your a loner like dh is. You may never know what can happen and you will need a frum neighbor for that. What happens if something Chas vesholom something happens to any of you and you need a hospital on shabbos where can you go to drop off your kids then?

I'm just giving some senerios. I beleive Jews need to be around each other for more reasons including what frantic said. Which is the first reason.

It's hard being the only Jew and frum one at that. When your near more it's way better.

amother

Papaya

Wed, May 10 2017, 9:39 am

Thank you so much everyone for your replies it gives me a lot to think about. The house is a foreclosure and we can maybe get it for a lot under it's value. We are pretty sure it's an area that people would move into after they see one family living there. Worse comes to worse we can sell it and move somewhere else after a year.

amother

Mauve

Wed, May 10 2017, 9:46 am

amother wrote:

We were in a similar predicament. It ain't so simple to sell in a year or two; it'll be a loss for you. If more people move in but not your type, then the house value might go up and you can sell, but if no one joins you, it's gonna be a financial loss.

We ended up going to the one with a better neighborhood and smaller house because location location locaton. I can extend or renovate my house but I can't change the location of my property. Also because its more Jewish the value of the house keeps going up as that's what usually happens in jewish real estate. so if I want to sell, I can more easily do that here than in the bigger house out of area.
(think of fri nt mikva, playmates for kids, 35 min to shul is very far,think of borrowing ingredients or any other judaic item you might need)

amother

Crimson

Wed, May 10 2017, 9:46 am

I moved to a brand new area 2.5 years ago. I knew that there were ppl following and I decided to move with 3 other families. The closest shul was 45 minute walk. Th walked for about a month and then we started a shul in our house. It lasted till by the neighborhood got too big. We now have 75 drum families and more moving in daily. We have 3 minyanim and it's amazing.
That being said I would do it with another family or 2 or knowing ppl will follow and it will pick up. It is amazing to be the start of a community and I wouldn't regret my decision at all.

amother

Fuchsia

Wed, May 10 2017, 9:46 am

amother wrote:

I'm the one who posted above about it going badly for us. You make a good point about emergencies. I actually did have an emergency while living there and had to go on bed rest. Even if my neighbors had been nice, they wouldn't have been able to help with meals and stuff because they weren't kosher. Since we weren't really part of the community, we had no one to turn to to help us out and ended up just spending lots of money paying for help. The the baby was born prematurely and in the NICU for awhile and in general it was just really hard not to have a supportive community during what was a very difficult time. I got very severe PPD and I still haven't fully recovered. The PPD may well have happened anyway, but if I'd had some local support, I don't think it would have gotten nearly as bad as it did.

amother

Papaya

Wed, May 10 2017, 9:52 am

amother wrote:

Is this tallymawr by any chance?

mommish613

Wed, May 10 2017, 9:57 am

OP it's a gamble. Like the other posters said you have to know yourself. If you have kids that are school age I would most definitely not do it. Simply put. Unless you plan to have lots and lots of play dates. and Shabbos guests. But then you are also asking them to walk 35 mins to shul... shock

doctorima

Wed, May 10 2017, 10:31 am

Could you buy the house and rent it out and use the rent to cover the mortgage? Then wait and see what happens with the neighborhood. If it takes off, then move in when a tenant's lease is up. If not, you can decide at that point whether to just keep renting it, or to sell it and move on to look elsewhere.