Ever made something truly awful

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sequoia

Thu, May 11 2017, 1:28 pm

andrea levy wrote:

It's not polish galitzia... it was Austrian at the time in history my family was from there. Now it's gone.

Well yeah the Austro-Hungarian Empire

SixOfWands

Thu, May 11 2017, 1:29 pm

amother wrote:

There are probably some very good Russian cooks. But a review comment on a tour package to Russia is quite telling: "The scenery was breathtaking and the food was served on time."

What's the old joke?

HEAVEN is where: The police are British The chefs Italian The mechanics are German The lovers are French and it's all organised by the Swiss HELL is where: The police are German The chefs are British The mechanics are French The lovers are Swiss and it's all organised by the Italians!!

treestump

Thu, May 11 2017, 1:31 pm

I like experimenting with food and spices, and rarely follow recipes. One time I did - I was trying an Asian chicken dish.

It ended up tasting like warm peanut butter and coconut milk with lumps (the chicken.) It was truly awful. And I had to buy some expensive ingredients for it which I never used again.

ra_mom

Thu, May 11 2017, 1:34 pm

sequoia wrote:

Galicia most certainly exists as a culture, just not as political entity. A person might be described as a "typical Galicianer"; a restaurant in Lviv prides itself on "Galician cuisine," and so on.

There's a Galacian food place (convenience store? deli?) that I pass sometimes in my neighborhood. I think they spell it with a j and maybe a z. I thought I noticed some of the customers speaking Polish but I could have heard wrong.

cbsp

Thu, May 11 2017, 1:39 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

Just recently, I made meatloaf, and used a new spice blend. What I didn't know, was that the blend was 99% salt, and 1% other spices. I ended up making a chunky vegetable soup, and dicing the meatloaf to add to it. I didn't need to season the soup at all, and the broth took a lot of the salt out of the meat. Things evened out quite nicely. It's always a bonus if you can figure out how to salvage a disaster. Very Happy

FranticFrummie wrote:

I still want to know what happened with your lamb, Sequoia. Please explain!

So someone gifted us with a pickled chicken roast and said "just bake it like you would a regular roast." So we did. It was supposed to be our main course for Rosh Hashanah. It's a good thing I tasted it as we were slicing it - it was completely inedible. I still have it in my freezer and now you've inspired me to use it (sparingly) as a fleishig salt in soup and maybe cholent.

Speaking of cholent, I use maple syrup/sugar or brown sugar in mine. My DD was on a restricted sugar diet so I would reserve most of the sugary stuff from a maple - brown sugar oatmeal packet (pareve) to use in the cholesterol. One week we had apple /cinnamon oatmeal instead... The guests very politely didn't say anything that week...

Oh, and last year one of the Jewish publications had a watermelon gazpacho recipe that I made for Shavuos. Maybe it could have been good but the spices (cloves, allspice, Chinese 5 spice) were completely overwhelming. It's also resting comfortably in my freezer and I add minute amounts to smoothies.

FranticFrummie wrote:

I still want to know what happened with your lamb, Sequoia. Please explain!

This please.

sequoia

Thu, May 11 2017, 1:39 pm

ra_mom wrote:

Yes, Polish, Ukrainian, and Hungarian would be the languages spoken.

As for spelling, I go by wiki:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Galicia_(Eastern_Europe)

Last edited by sequoia on Thu, May 11 2017, 1:41 pm; edited 1 time in total

MagentaYenta

Thu, May 11 2017, 1:40 pm

sequoia wrote:

Normally I'm a good cook, but today... Puke

I made a dish with expensive meat, vegetables, red wine, and spices that turned out so repulsively inedible I can't believe it.

Whyyyyyy Crying

I am so sorry for your pain.

I attempted a spendy Nigela Lawson cake a few weeks back. I'm an excellent baker BTW. It was absolute drek. It required almond flour @ $6 an lb. I had done a similar cake with a Martha recipe and regular flour and it was worth the effort. I thought the Nigela recipe with almond flour would kick it up a notch. It kicked right into the compost.

perquacky

Thu, May 11 2017, 1:49 pm

Who remembers this classic Friends moment?

ally

Thu, May 11 2017, 1:49 pm

When I was a newly wed, I ambitiously attempted a Jamie Oliver recipe for ravioli filled with potato and caramelized onion from scratch because he said "Nothing is simpler".
By the time I was finished, I was so done, I went to bed.

I once made pancakes with no baking powder and that was an epic fail.

I have a friend who is a professional pastry chef - I was doing my PhD in the sciences and my son asked me why I couldn't go to school to learn something useful like this friend.

EmpireState

Thu, May 11 2017, 1:49 pm

Last week I had some extra time on Friday so I made a long cooking potato kugel. The recipe called for olive oil for the top of kugel. Unfortunately it came out awful and was thrown away.

Rachel Shira

Thu, May 11 2017, 2:11 pm

zaq wrote:

I also found this particularly funny. Very Happy

heidi

Thu, May 11 2017, 2:26 pm

EmpireState wrote:

Last week I had some extra time on Friday so I made a long cooking potato kugel. The recipe called for olive oil for the top of kugel. Unfortunately it came out awful and was thrown away.

My friend swore that substituting olive oil for regular oil in challah would make it heavenly. It made it inedibly gross

amother

Royalblue

Thu, May 11 2017, 2:27 pm

nu???? tell us what it tasted like sequoia. I cant wait to hear.

UnFarvosNischt

Thu, May 11 2017, 6:11 pm

Last year (shana rishona!) when my ILs came to visit us for shabbos, I was decided I'll cook amazing food so that they'll see how amazing I am lol.
The problem is that instead of doing things I've already done, I decided I will try something new I've just seen in Top Chef... BAD idea!
Anyway, I wanted to do those fancy chicken balloting (they looked so simpleee) with mushroom and a white wine sauce. Friday morning when I tried my first balloting I realized it won't work so instead of just cooking the chicken cutlets, I decided to improvise and I put the chicken the marinate in orange juice...
Believe me, chicken with orange juice and white wine and mushrooms REALLY do not go well together...
But they were all so polite they ate it all! lol

tigerwife

Thu, May 11 2017, 7:12 pm

The first time I ever made zucchini soup (probably the easiest soup ever), I somehow used giant cucumbers instead of zucchini 🤢

working hard

Thu, May 11 2017, 7:32 pm

Last Rosh Hashana, I poured Melot into my briskit instead of sweet red wine. A very expensive mistake. The briskit was not edible. I ended out grinding it up and mixing with eggs and mashed potatoes and baking it like a shepherds pie. Then we ate it. At least all that meat did not go to waste!