S/o want a baby but can't have bc not managing

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amother

Bisque

Sun, Jun 18 2017, 12:57 am

So on the other thread most were referring to fertility issues or divorce/shalom bayis problems. Has anyone been in the situation where you want but can't have because YOU are the one who can't manage? I always thought I'd have a large family, and I still hope to have more kids than I currently have but I know that a) I need to wait awhile longer before I'll be ready to try again (youngest is 1) and b) as much as I'd like 3-4 more, I think I'll only be able to manage 1 more. I thought I wanted 12 kids before I had 1. It turned out to be so much harder than I thought (and no, my kids are not particularly challenging). I want several more but I honestly don't think I can do it, and that's disappointing.

thanks

Sun, Jun 18 2017, 1:09 am

I think this happens to many people.
Until we have our own kids, we cannot know how hard it really is.

tichellady

Sun, Jun 18 2017, 1:09 am

I'm sure there are lots of women like you. I know women who had less kids than they wanted because of postpartum depression, mental health issues, or the realization that they find having babies and little kids extremely draining

crust

Sun, Jun 18 2017, 1:19 am

You are very mature. I respect you.
I think women have more children than they can handle because they don't face thier own reality soon enough.
If ever.

behappy2

Sun, Jun 18 2017, 6:23 am

Me too. Well. I actually never thought I would handle a big family. I have two now and I don't know if I will ever have more. Right now I am choosing to focus on the life I have. I used to spend a lot of my energy wanting life to be different than it is. Now instead I try to accept my reality and work within it. And if you haven't done so yet let yourself grieve that lost dream. Hugs.

crust

Sun, Jun 18 2017, 6:42 am

behappy2 wrote:

I used to spend a lot of my energy wanting life to be different than it is. Now instead I try to accept my reality and work within it.

Wise wise words.
I just love them!

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