Weddings Nowadays...

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amother

Orange

Fri, Jun 30 2017, 3:16 pm

So I got married about 17 years ago, and haven't been to any weddings recently.
My husband's sibling just got engaged, and I wonder what has changed?
Do all immediate family members still wear long gowns? What about schtick? What is considered new and up to date? Are people doing the sleeveless gowns with shells or not?
And what is my role as the future sister in law? What are my responsibilities?
I know it's a vague question but ANY help is appreciated!

Blessing1

Fri, Jun 30 2017, 4:23 pm

What has chaunged is that weddings have become a show! It's embarrassing what some weddings look like, people forgot what the point of a wedding is-to celebrate a marriage. I've seen all kinds of crazy shtick.

tigerwife

Fri, Jun 30 2017, 4:45 pm

Definitely wear long.
The shell depends on your personal style. The norm is to wear a built up gown.
I still see shtick being done, but it's usually the kallah's friend who arrange it.

Mazel tov!

SixOfWands

Fri, Jun 30 2017, 4:49 pm

Honestly, it depends.

It depends on the wedding. On the community. On the family.

I was at a wedding last year where all of the sisters/SILs wore coordinated gowns. OTOH, I'm going to a wedding this summer where the mothers will be wearing short dresses, and I'm sure that the sisters will as well (no SILs .... well, there will be after the wedding, but you get what I mean).

If you want to be an amazing DIL/future SIL, ask if they would prefer that you wear long or short.

I hate shells with sleeveless gowns. But shrugs are fine.

As to shtick, yes, I see it at weddings. But I don't think that you have to plan or participate, unless that's your thing. Its usually the couple's friends.

Mazel tov.

cbg

Fri, Jun 30 2017, 6:31 pm

Also ask if there is a specific color.
It would be nice if you can help with Sheva Berachot

ckk

Fri, Jun 30 2017, 7:25 pm

Keep telling your brother how you like his kallah, how lucky he is, mention as often as possible as many specific things you can that you like about her.

The best wedding gift to the couple.

DrMom

Sat, Jul 01 2017, 3:47 pm

All the questions you asked are very community-specific. You will need to define what sort of circles you move in to get a more accurate answer.

As for what is "expected of you" -- why don't you just ask your husband's sibling?

Ruchel

Sat, Jul 01 2017, 5:37 pm

I wish I could help.
I have never seen family in long gown (actually that's very kallah-y). I haven't seen shtick except once abroad and I was quite at a loss. I do see lots of shells with dresses. You don't have a role or responsibility. Just enjoy! I guess you could ask the mothers if they need help;

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