Is it possible to live on this salary?

amother

Taupe

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 12:39 am

DH makes 78,000 salary. He also gets our full family health insurance paid and a company car with gas.
Is it possible for a family of 5 (3 kids) to live somewhat comfortably on this salary?
When I say comfortable I mean, frugal but not shopping at a thrift store. Chicken for supper but not steak or meat. We almost never eat out, etc..
When I add up our expenses it just doesn't make sense that his salary will cover all the bills.

Some rough numbers:
Mortgage with insurance $2000
Food $1000
Utilities $400
Tuition $500-600
Medical $150
None of this include the extras that come up every month but it's a start..

The reason I ask is because I have been working and making 50,000 and I am due soon with #3 and since I'll have 2 little kids not school age it doesn't make sense to spend $10-11 per hour for a babysitter whereas I was spending $6 per hour dropping off toddler at a babysitter.

It seems to make sense to quit my job as my full salary will end up going to babysitting but I have no idea how we can afford to live and pay our bills.

LittleDucky

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 2:48 am

What about taxes? Is his salary gross or net? That makes a big deal in our bottom line.
Do you want to eat chicken every night? How often for red meat? You gave estimates on food- was that the average of the last 3 months, this month's costs or a guess?
Do you pay copays for Drs?
Will you be able to save for emergencies? Simchas? Extras?

Just trying to help think of anything extra that might not have counted in to your calculations. I hope you can figure this out and can do what you want!

amother

Seagreen

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 2:50 am

You will be spending 50,000 on babysitting? I don't think so. More like 16,000. I once had four kids under three, all at a babysitter. I was paying $20 an hour. My salary was 80,000 a year pre-tax. It was still worth it for me to work. I had to, I was the only income at the time.
And we lived OK. But we paid half the amount you are paying in rent. And we did get hand-me-downs/thrift shop clothing. We are chicken/turkey/chopped meat.

amother

Navy

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 8:04 am

First- hugs! I know the feeling of wanting to staying home with the kiddos.

How does paying a babysitter $10-11 an hr translate to your full salary if your making 50k?
Like many amothers on this site say all the time.. 50k means a raise next year and a raise a yr after that. Vs quitting your job and having to start again in a few years with a empty space on your resume.
Also, $1000 for food while not a lot is not exactly frugal either.

tovli toraspicha

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 8:19 am

You probably won't be spending close to 50,000 on babysitting, unless you have crazy hours and overnight etc. Probably closer to 20-25k. So you should still be left with a decent amount after paying the babysitter.
But if you really want to be a stay at home mom, you could probably manage. I would crunch all the numbers carefully since you will be taking home less money.
Just from your numbers, 1000 seems a lot for food, especially with such young children. if you're a stay at home mom maybe you'll be able to shop more sales or make more from scratch, which may take more time but is cheaper.
You will have to be very frugal, you'll have to be honest with yourself in terms of what you think you can handle.

amother

White

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 8:21 am

It doesn't sound like you should quit. Even if that 50k is for full time 40 hour work week, that's 24 an hour and 11 to babysitter. Not worth it to leave if dh salary is 78k. In 2 years you'll have to pay their tuition anyway regardless if you work or not and then what? Take the full 12 weeks FMLA and enjoy your baby's first 3 months at home then head back to work.

amother

Taupe

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 9:27 am

$11 an hour is if I would drop off 2 kids at a babysitter. I need 9 hours a day for babysitting so therefore I would probably have someone come to the house for $12 (30 minute commute plus 8 hours of work is 9 hours being away from home)
$1000 includes all the household items such as papergoods, detergent, etc.
My salary of 50,000 is pre tax and DH of 78,000 is pre tax as well.
My take home is about 35,000 after taxes. Babysitter is $108 per day if I pay $12. It comes out to 26,000. So bottom line my job would make me 9,000 with me being away from my kids (and nursing) for 9 hours a day. Get home late Friday's, etc.
I know what my heart is telling me, but logically does it make sense?
FMLA for 12 weeks? Don't assume I live in Lakewood. No such thing where I live.

Edited due to typo

amother

White

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 9:38 am

amother wrote:

Logically it's worthwhile to stay in the work force. By FMLA I meant NY. It's not paid time off but your job is required to hold your job for 12 weeks for you as per the family leave act. Enjoy the time off even if not paid to get back to yourself before heading back to work.

amother

Taupe

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 9:46 am

amother wrote:

I'm pretty much at the highest I'd be making in my field. I work as an office manager/receptionist and I've worked at this job for over 7 years and I started at 35,000. Although I've come a long way I can't make any more where I am now. I've gotten several job offers for about 45,000 so I am not concerned about starting over from scratch.

nicole81

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 9:55 am

You're paying $500-$600 in tuition for one kid. What's gonna happen when it's 2 kids, then 3? I'd say rather than quit now, start looking for a better job, or work on increasing your qualifications for a more lucrative career.

As an aside, I agree that you're spending a lot on food. As a family of 7, we spend significantly less than $1000 a month on food, and we don't eat rice and beans Smile

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:02 am

amother wrote:

FMLA for 12 weeks? Don't assume I live in Lakewood. No such thing where I live.

FMLA is a national law in the US. If you and your employer both meet certain criteria, you are entitled to 12 weeks of leave during a 12-month period.

amother

Taupe

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:04 am

cm wrote:

FMLA is a national law in the US. If you and your employer both meet certain criteria, you are entitled to 12 weeks of leave during a 12-month period.

I thought she was referring to family leave or whatever it's called in New Jersey where you get paid to "bond" with your baby and get paid by the state.

SixOfWands

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:05 am

amother wrote:

Yes we have about $3000 saved. It's not a lot but it's something.

Not to be harsh, but no, $3000 is not "something." If chas v'shalom your husband loses his job, its less than one month's cushion, even including unemployment insurance. If it takes him 6 months to find a job, which isn't out of the question, you'd be at risk of losing your home. You should have at least a six-month cushion, probably more for you because you'd have to take over all of your health insurance expenses.

Not to mention what would happen if you had an expensive home repair cost. A new roof alone could take most of your savings.

amother

Taupe

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:10 am

nicole81 wrote:

Yikes I don't know!! But how is it fair I work every day and spend 9 hours away from my kids to come home with almost nothing.
My tuition bill will be double because we have a 2 person income and my food is a bit higher because sometimes we need to do quick and easy since I get home at 5pm every day.
I'm burned out and exhausted from working rain or shine, chol hamoed, erev yom tov, Friday till 4pm, etc.

amother

Taupe

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:12 am

SixOfWands wrote:

Yup pretty scary. But how does a family barely making it save anything at all?! We're lucky we have $3000. We live very frugally and have no extras. I get cleaning help one day a year, to help me clean my kitchen for pesach.

SixOfWands

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:37 am

amother wrote:

I guess that's what you have to ask yourself. On two salaries, you've been unable to save more than $3000. Can you afford to give up that second salary? It seems to me that you need it to get by.

By the way, I think your numbers include a double-dip. You say you're due with #3, and already have 2 kids who are not yet school age. So you don't need both babysitting and school, and don't need either if you're home. So there's a savings of $500 a month.

Someone mentioned using maternity leave to try to increase your skills. I don't know where you live, but where I am, a professional office manager makes a lot more than $50,000 (and doesn't answer phones). Try to see what you can do to push yourself into that category, since you already seem to have the skills.

amother

Taupe

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:49 am

SixOfWands wrote:

By the way, I think your numbers include a double-dip. You say you're due with #3, and already have 2 kids who are not yet school age. So you don't need both babysitting and school, and don't need either if you're home. So there's a savings of $500 a month.

Currently I am paying to drop off a toddler at a babysitter for 9 hours per day. Iyh when I have a baby I will be paying for 2 kids at which point I will have someone come to my house.
Older DC 1 is already going into Kindergarten (here it's the grade before 1st grade), then comes the toddler then baby soon iyh.

Tuition is likely much more than $500-600 but that's what I budgeted. Full tuition is 11,000, I believe, I'm not yet sure what we will be asked to pay, I didn't get my tuition bill.

baltomom

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 10:59 am

Oy, I feel for you. It does seem that you need more than your dh's income, but working such long hours for so little take-home pay does seem brutal. Would you consider leaving your job and doing babysitting in your home? Then you could make some money while keeping your kids home with you (I.e. not paying babysitting) and probably work fewer hours as well.