Is it possible to live on this salary?

amother

Taupe

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 11:03 am

baltomom wrote:

Oy, I feel for you. It does seem that you need more than your dh's income, but working such long hours for so little take-home pay does seem brutal. Would you consider leaving your job and doing babysitting in your home? Then you could make some money while keeping your kids home with you (I.e. not paying babysitting) and probably work fewer hours as well.

Thank you for feeling my pain. It is brutal!
No I'm really not interested in watching other people's children, I don't think I can handle more than my two kids.
Also that would mean not being able to take my kids out for walks.

saw50st8

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 11:03 am

amother wrote:

Yikes I don't know!! But how is it fair I work every day and spend 9 hours away from my kids to come home with almost nothing.
My tuition bill will be double because we have a 2 person income and my food is a bit higher because sometimes we need to do quick and easy since I get home at 5pm every day.
I'm burned out and exhausted from working rain or shine, chol hamoed, erev yom tov, Friday till 4pm, etc.

How is it fair? It's just real life. It sucks. I'm out of the house 11 hours a day and my entire salary covers tuition+healthcare. Your tuition bill won't be double though, the amount of charity you need will be halved.

You said your salary is basically capped. Have you looked into what the next step in your career could be?

SixOfWands

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 11:04 am

baltomom wrote:

She's not working "long hours." She's working normal business hours with a reasonable commute.

And she's not getting "so little take-home pay." She's earning just about the median HOUSEHOLD income in the US.

amother

Navy

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 11:08 am

amother wrote:

I'm pretty much at the highest I'd be making in my field. I work as an office manager/receptionist and I've worked at this job for over 7 years and I started at 35,000. Although I've come a long way I can't make any more where I am now. I've gotten several job offers for about 45,000 so I am not concerned about starting over from scratch.

I'm not going to Debate whether your making the highest you can for your field as I don't know where your located.
I do want to address the job offers you've received. You've gotten these job offers WHILE your employed. If you stop working now, you will be re+entering the work force and have a space in your resume

amother

Linen

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 11:14 am

I was in the same exact situation 10 years ago. I decided to quit my job and stay home. My sitter would have made more money watching 2 kids than I would take home after taxes and child care. My toddler also needed more than a babysitter. He had behaviour issues and needed therapy for delays.

As a result of quitting my job I found it hard to go back to work. Now my family is complete and I need/want to work. I found myself lacking the confidence. My resume has major gaps.

I wish I had more support and help from my dh to continue working. I was working part time. Dh refused to take a day off when kids were sick for a few days so I can go to work. I felt like I was being pulled in to many directions.

For me, quitting my job was the only option.

tovli toraspicha

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 12:12 pm

With both those salaries pre tax, minimal savings, and more tuitions coming up (and what you budgeted not even full tuition for one child) I don't see how you can leave your job. If your heart is set on being home more, maybe see how much you can save while you work at this job and find out if there is anything you can do part time that will still bring in a decent salary but with less childcare and you spending more time home with your kids?
Hatzlacha!

amother

Indigo

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 12:42 pm

amother wrote:

Since I believe Money is bashert, I would definitely give up sucha job. Her husband already works so the hishtadlus theyre doing.

she is currently bashert with 50,000 pre-tax. What kinda job shouldn't she give up?

amother

Indigo

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 12:47 pm

$3,000 in savings when you have nearly 3 children, to me is reason enough not to lower 'net income' levels. "net income' here would your income plus DH income less childcare costs required for you (plural) to earn income.

that said - I completely understand the desire to be home with children.

amother

Purple

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 12:50 pm

amother wrote:

she is currently bashert with 50,000 pre-tax. What kinda job shouldn't she give up?

That her husband is gonna earning more money...her calculation is 9k annually...which is ridiculous ..for this amount she should have someone else mother her kids.

Just my personal belief

amother

Indigo

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 12:54 pm

amother wrote:

That her husband is gonna earning more money...her calculation is 9k annually...which is ridiculous ..for this amount she should have someone else mother her kids.

Just my personal belief

putting aside that there is more to mothering than weekly 9-5.

How much does she need to earn for it not to be ridiculous in your personal belief for her to work?

amother

Ivory

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 1:32 pm

amother wrote:

Since I believe Money is bashert, I would definitely give up sucha job. Her husband already works so the hishtadlus theyre doing.

Does this histadlus go both ways?

I work FT. Does my husband (who recently lost his job and has a hx of numerous losses) not look for a job, because I have one and that's my histadlus? Are we to believe that because money is bashert, he should just stay home and watch YouTube videos all day?

SixOfWands

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 1:51 pm

amother wrote:

That her husband is gonna earning more money...her calculation is 9k annually...which is ridiculous ..for this amount she should have someone else mother her kids.

Just my personal belief

Interesting belief.

But I'm curious. How do you have time to be on imamother, given that you are homeschooling your kids and believe that you need to be with them, paying attention to them 24/7? I mean, if you walk away for 10 or 15 minutes to read a thread, don't you feel like you're no longer mothering them? Or do you save your vitriol for those who dare to work outside the home?

SixOfWands

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 1:53 pm

amother wrote:

No. If he does his histadlus and looks for a job, you can quit your job and stay home. The money for rent/mortgage, food, clothing and tuition will just arrive from above. No worries. Weddings, b'nai mitzvot, retirement? Taken care of. All those posts from people who aren't making it? Fake news. Ignore them.

ETA -- sorry to hear about your DH's job. Hope he quickly finds a new one that he enjoys and sticks with for a long time.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 1:55 pm

Quote:

I work FT. Does my husband (who recently lost his job and has a hx of numerous losses) not look for a job, because I have one and that's my histadlus? Are we to believe that because money is bashert, he should just stay home and watch YouTube videos all day?

How are you comparing staying home and watching Youtube to wanting to staying at home to be a mother? Follow your gut op, stay home with your babies. You can figure out a way to make the numbers work or try to work a few hours a day from home.

amother

Blonde

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 1:56 pm

amother wrote:

A mother is not staying home & watching YouTube videos all day. She is caring for her kids - I think it's great if someone can manage it. A woman with young children without an outside job still has more than enough to keep her gainfully occupied, which is not the same for a man, in my opinion. It's really a hard decision to make, need to weigh both sides and come to what works best for you & husband. Hatzlacha Rabba!

amother

Taupe

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 2:00 pm

Trust me there's enough to keep me occupied when the kids are napping. Dishes, laundry, suppers, bathrooms, etc will keep me busy for at least 2 hours. I spend about 1-2 hours every night cleaning my house once the kids are sleeping, will be nice to have it done during the day during nap time.
Technically I can find a part time position for 2 hours a day while the naps overlap.

amother

Cerise

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 2:00 pm

Quote:

How come working mothers get so angry and offended when SAHM's give their opinion? I'll tell you why: because leaving your baby in the care of someone else is not natural and you know it in your heart. If you were happy and certain that you made the right decision, you wouldn't get so angry at SAHMs.

amother

Ivory

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 2:01 pm

amother wrote:

Quote:

not a comparison, but I'm not a huge proponent of stay at home moms. If the money is there, that's one thing. The money isn't there for OP. But the post about money being bashert said as long as husband is working, she can stay home.

I'm working, so my husband can stay home

Not to mention what a disservice it would be for my 2 year old to pull her out of full time day care so my husband could watch her (in between YouTube videos, of course) Daycare provides more socialization and stimulation and education and activities than my husband or I ever could.

But I digress. I beleive that as adults we each have to do our hishtadlus.

amother

Ivory

Thu, Jul 06 2017, 2:02 pm

SixOfWands wrote:

Amen, Six. Thanks.