Attention Monsey Moms

amother

Cyan

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 11:04 pm

amother wrote:

You have the personal choice to change your own lifestyle.
Sure it's hard, but you can't expect to drag an entire community down with you in order to make the transition that you're seeking.

It's is people questioning the ridiculousness of certain unexplained norms that brings some changes to our communities although it's at a snail paced rate. We can remember when little boys davened in cheder with minyan and returned home after 6. It's has taken many years of children suffering. Now minyan is mandatory a grade or two older and dismissal is a drop earlier.
Such changes are needed and arn't dragging anyone down.

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Jul 17 2017, 9:01 am

amother wrote:

Compare it to hechsherim: I won't eat something with a plain OU, because it isn't my standard, something that I choose to take into my home. BUT it is 100% indisputably kosher. I would easily allow a friend to bring that item into my house and eat it at the same table as me. Driving is also not my personal standard, but I would never say it is not kosher. If your rabbi says it is kosher for you to drive, it is kosher! So why should it bother me if you come into my territory driving? You are doing nothing wrong.

Not letting women drive is nothing like keeping a chumra in kashrus. If I want to know why we don't eat x, I can look up in a sefer the different opinions about whether x is kosher. And I can decide whether the argument is compelling. Sometimes the answer is, if I'm machmir on x, I'll be meikil on y. I need to choose which one matters more.

If I want to know why women can't drive, the answer will just be, "we don't do that, it isn't modest. " I can't ask why walking down the street or getting into a car service with a man is more modest, because we're outside the zone of logic and halacha.(Not that the two are always synonymous, but in halacha, you can test a conclusion.)

amother

Mustard

Mon, Jul 17 2017, 10:20 am

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

I was told that it's the frum car service maligning America Latina so that it increases business for themselves. Were any of these cases reported to the police? I take America Latina every day. If it's such an issue why isn't there publicity outside the Chasidish circles.

Because it's the chassidish people who take taxis most often - both men and women who don't drive!

amother

Mustard

Mon, Jul 17 2017, 12:09 pm

BTW, I"m op and I drive. I don't take taxis. And I agree with everyone here who is saying that I cant drive, I ccan't take america latina, I can't take a male driver so what should I do? BH BH BH my dh could handle it that I drive and the schools haven't (yet) made an issue for us.

33055

Wed, Jul 19 2017, 7:52 am

amother wrote:

Anyone heard of the shooting taking place today on West Eckerson where a passenger shot the driver of a American Latina Taxi? Heard driver is in critical condition but shooter fled the scene.

It doesn't look like it was a fed up playgroup owner.

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news......html

BTW, I also heard the stories that the "g○y" owner is working as an informant. Makes no sense.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Jul 19 2017, 11:46 am

I did not read through all the comments, forgive me if I am off track.

I am ex satmar - on the inside. DH & I are fed up of living as a 2 facer. Yes, I don't drive but I do have full access to internet.

We are transitioning. I think that by controlling our internet and driving ability and so much more they are defeating the purpose. It's like building a mansion but starting with the second floor, mid air. We have no relationship with hashem, that was never instilled in us. And I want to give our kids a better future. I want them to keep shabbos and kosher out of love for their religion, not pressure and abuse. I want them to cover the body parts because they are beautiful and not because the skirt needs to be 4 inches past the knee in order not to get expelled from school.

Like so many posters said - my neighbors kids can't come over to play because my internet is not filtered but the mother sometimes shops on my iPhone. And when she wanted to show her DH a pic of a sink she wants to purchase he asked a sheila and was allowed.

Car services - I am about to get my license. I don't understand why Motty's is safer than AL. ALOT of ppl I know send kids alone with them. I was molested by a chassidisha guy and therefore never used Motty's, I rather use AL. And I personally know 1 driver for Motty's and for that reason I would never use them. Never have, never will.

I am sorry. I'm all over the place.

Anonymous because some people definitely know who I am based on this info.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Jul 19 2017, 11:59 am

amother wrote:

Perhaps all your resentment and confusion stems from this without you realizing? Have you ever addressed your experiences in therapy?

I am in therapy for 10 years already. While my friends own homes and go on vacations, I am shelling out thousands to become healthy.

And the process has brought me a lot of awareness of the dysfunction I grew up with and what I can choose to do so my future, and my children's future, is brighter.