Is it my weight or my confidence?

amother

Aster

Mon, Nov 08 2021, 2:21 pm

I was once at an airport when I was single in my twenties with my hair up in a pony and no makeup. I had time to kill before my flight so I went to the bathroom to apply makeup and fix my hair. Suddenly I went from invisible to people being really nice.

So yes, I believe the world is a nicer place to those who look good.

amother

Cyclamen

Mon, Nov 08 2021, 2:24 pm

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

My question is, why?
How does “lack of self control” connect to iq?
If the person would be smarter then they would know to eat less?
How did our collective brain wire itself like this?

Who says overweight people have less self control than thinner people?

So many factors affect how much you weigh.

So many stereotypes!

honeymoon

Mon, Nov 08 2021, 6:20 pm

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

My question is, why?
How does “lack of self control” connect to iq?
If the person would be smarter then they would know to eat less?
How did our collective brain wire itself like this?

I ask the same question. It is an externals focused society we live in and it affects our way of thinking even if logically we know its ridiculous. I have overweight friends and I love them, but when meeting a stranger this bias will often come up for a minute or two until I reframe. I'm just being honest here. I love myself more when I'm thin too, so there. It seems pathetic while I am typing, and it is, but its a truth many people won't admit.

amother

Razzmatazz

Mon, Nov 08 2021, 9:20 pm

See my post below from this thread:
https://www.imamother.com/foru.....30008

amother [ Sand ] wrote:

OP you are not off on your assessment. Fat bias is a real phenomenon that exists, both implicitly and explicitly. If anyone (including all the ladies here denying it) does not believe, feel free to research fat bias and see what you come up with.

Spoiler alert: less job opportunities, lower income, more hostility in & out of the work place, and yes, more difficulty in social situations. Some negative cognitions that have been associated with fat people as evidenced by research: fat people are lazy, fat people are stupid, fat people are dirty, fat people smell bad, etc.

Today's society is not welcoming of fat people, even as the phenomenon of the overweight and obese continues to rise. Fat has been demonized, characterized as an illness/ disability, and these ideas are continuously fueled by media, diet industry, doctors, and celebrities. Only exclusively thin people seem to be able to live in full denial of this. Anyone who has been on the heavier side of the scale has a hard time denying this reality.

Spoken as someone who has been fat, heavy, obese, and lost significant amounts of weight. Yes, thinner people are less invisible in our society. I say this now at the thinnest I've ever been.

amother

Grape

Tue, Nov 09 2021, 9:39 am

I am obese. (Yes I eat my feeling and have been diagnosed with PCOS. ) There is absolutely fat bias. I have been stopped on the street by strangers telling me to lose weight. Yes literally. Of course it rattles my confidence. I had a sales lady in a maternity store say “well how much BIGGER do you think you can get” (in my last trimester trying to buy something for a close family wedding).

Ppl give me compliments in an incredulous sounding way at a simcha because I’m not expected to look good. I once asked a good friend an opinion on clothes and she responded “well you don’t really care” and I was floored that someone I’ve shared so many good and bad times with could be so clueless and not SEE me