Terrified to fast! Having real anxiety bout it- pls help!

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

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amother

Smokey

Sun, Jul 30 2017, 10:13 pm

I have post partum depression (DD is now 2) and anxiety issues. I don't usually fast by the "minor" fast days even though I don't nurse cuz im a terrible faster. Y"K obviously I dont have a choice, but im really having anxiety issues bout Tisha B'av. My kids cannot keep themselves busy and are very difficult. I plan on sticking them in front of computer all day with videos to keep themselves busy. (last ditch idea but at least I know that it will keep them busy and not kvetch). Problem is that im still having severe anxiety bout fasting. I do have headaches that I get pretty often due to sinus issues.
please help me calm myself down 'bout fasting! im seriously having anxiety attacks just thinking about it! any ideas?

ra_mom

Sun, Jul 30 2017, 10:16 pm

Call a rav. He can tell you what you can and cannot do based on your situation. Sending you strength!

amother

Aquamarine

Sun, Jul 30 2017, 10:17 pm

Can you detail what specifically you're anxious about? Sometimes it helps to tackle each potential problem and think of possible solutions.

crust

Sun, Jul 30 2017, 10:19 pm

You need to consult a Rav that understands mental health.

amother

Crimson

Sun, Jul 30 2017, 10:26 pm

there is a 24 hr ibuprofin that you can take right b4 the fast so you will not get a headache. Take lots a vitamins - like a double dose of whatever you have. It will make you feel stronger and not feel the hunger pangs early on. I buy arts and crafts for my kids - we do videos too. I am also worried about taking care of my family and myself and feeling starving and headachy. Sometimes when I am really worried before a fast, I am surprised that I actually made it till the end and it wasn't that bad. And sometimes I'm sure I'll be fine and then I'm not ...so just prepare yourself the best way you can and hopefully it will all work out at the end.

amother

Beige

Sun, Jul 30 2017, 10:27 pm

If you want to try something, I take slow release advil+caffeine, starts releasin 12 hours after you take it, for 12 hours. I'm a horrible faster, have been hospitalized for bad fasts, but this really helps

Last edited by amother on Sun, Jul 30 2017, 10:38 pm; edited 1 time in total

cbg

Sun, Jul 30 2017, 10:30 pm

Can you get an eleven yr old to help you around the house with the kids.
Of course you'll be there, but she can play with them, serve them lunch and dinner, and keep them busy.
They may be hard to get at such short notice, but this way you can stay the least active all day.

Second, the 24hr. Advil

amother

Crimson

Sun, Jul 30 2017, 10:34 pm

Moonlight wrote:

what is the name of the pill you take? where did you buy it?

amother

Beige

Sun, Jul 30 2017, 10:40 pm

amother wrote:

what is the name of the pill you take? where did you buy it?

The one I take is sold by Rabbi Shlomo Miller's Kollel in Toronto. A pharmacy in Toronto produces them. But they have ppl selling them in different communities. I live in the states and have a local family that sells them on behalf of the Kollel

Kiwi13

Sun, Jul 30 2017, 10:46 pm

I wouldn't recommend high doses of caffeine... it can actually make anxiety worse.

esuss

Sun, Jul 30 2017, 11:01 pm

I drink tons of water and Gatorade for 1-2 days before Tisha b'av prevents dehydration or at least minimizes it.

amother

Black

Sun, Jul 30 2017, 11:09 pm

Have you asked a rav? I would be surprised if a rav would tell you to fast under those circumstances esp having PPD and being prone to headaches.

makehappy

Mon, Jul 31 2017, 12:42 am

I know someone that had anxiety and couldn't even fast Tom kippur. She was told to get an iv of liquids and minerals before the fast. She decided to leave the needle in her and during yk when she started getting anxious again she went to the clinic walking and got a new iv and that's how she survived. I don't thunk she did Tisha beav ask a rav

amother

Emerald

Mon, Jul 31 2017, 2:10 am

amother wrote:

Have you asked a rav? I would be surprised if a rav would tell you to fast under those circumstances esp having PPD and being prone to headaches.

AFAIK the brisker rav held that mental health issues make a person a choleh shyaish bo sakana. Please ask a sensitive sensible knowledgeable rabbi what to do.

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Jul 31 2017, 3:13 am

call your rav
I was surprised - I called my rav
I'm nervous to fast as I'm in the beginning of pregnancy after multiple miscarriages

he forbid me to fast past 10 am

I was surprised

amother

Yellow

Mon, Jul 31 2017, 5:00 am

OP. I have similar issues and only fast as much as I can. Have eaten on Yom Kippur when things were really bad,

amother

Ginger

Mon, Jul 31 2017, 6:40 am

Stay away from sugar and salt like fire three days before the fast.
Eat watermelon and grapes before the fast to keep your body hydrated.
You can buy Tylenol suppositories in the drug store.
At most if you faint or get sick you will get a heter to break your fast.

Ruchel

Mon, Jul 31 2017, 6:47 am

I have terrible anxiety about fasting because I have migraines (not "head aches"). It doesn't make me mentally ill, chas veshalam. BH there are rabbis who understand all this.

strawberry cola

Mon, Jul 31 2017, 10:34 am

I heard of someone whose doctor gave them Motrin suppositories. Definitely talk to your doctor and to your Rav.
Also, I read last year in the Hamodia, in Esther Horowitz's column, that eating a few dates before a fast helps tremendously.

amother

Copper

Mon, Jul 31 2017, 8:11 pm

amother wrote:

important - one does not wait until they faint or get sick to ask a Rav or to get a heter re breaking their fast!!!
one asks before they get to that point.

sorry, if I sound blunt or nasty, really really not meaning to be - it's just, my dh is in hatzolah several decades already, and has had serious emergency calls where people waited too long to ask a Rav.

OP precious dear, I didn't mean to increase your anxiety.
Anxiety attacks is real suffering. I sincerely hope you are getting professional help for them plus the PPD.

And yes, you should ask your Rav what quicker about fasting, but you have to tell him your situation precisely.

Or, if you are feeling too anxious to ask the Rav, do you have s/one who can do it for you.
But, pluck up the courage, clench your fists, straighten your shoulders, grab hold tight onto the the top back of a chair - I've seen people doing it when they were anxious and it really helps in getting strength to flow through one's body, and you ask the Rav yourself - it's better if he can hear your voice.

Refuah Sheleimah. I reach out to you with my WHOLE heart and wish you all the best only,
be'H.

If you can, let us know how Tisha B'Av went. I'm rooting for you with full confidence, be'H.
And above all, Hashem is Holding your hand. More than that - He is Holding you up strongly.

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