Ideas that changed your life

amother

Mint

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 10:11 am

Your thoughts really made a difference in your feelings
Example: criticism doesn't have to equal attack it can really be constructive. I've only recently come to the realization that my dh really does point stuff out that I'm doing wrong in order to help me. He doesn't do it to people he doesn't care about. He really views us as a "Team" and is trying to help. When I can view him as a helpmate as opposed to an attacker our marriage really improved.

animeme

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 10:39 am

That the Yetzer HaTov is intellect and consideration, and the Yetzer HaRa is desires and non-intellect based drives, and the goal of life is to properly balance the two.

Until I learned this, I couldn't understand the idea if Hashem giving us a Yetzer HaRa for the sole purpose of trying to trip us up. And I didn't understand the pasuk in Bereishis, "Yetzer lev ha'adam ra mi'ne'urav". Now I see the lifelong process of maturity as learning to balance and use urges and thought to drive and guide us on the right path. And that every part of my personality, including those that have been present since birth and sometimes seemed like too heavy a burden, can and should be used properly to serve Hashem versus just trying to squelch them. They are there for a reason.

amother

Aquamarine

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 10:58 am

amother wrote:

When someone tells you who they are, believe them. -maya angelou
Changed my whole perspective while dating but also on relationships in general.

admittedly being nit picky - but the quote is

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time".

gp2.0

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 12:44 pm

Happiness is achieved by being grateful for the blessings in your life.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Holding a grudge just means thinking constantly about someone you dislike. The best revenge is to forget them.

Apologizing or admitting a mistake makes you powerful, not weak.

We all make mistakes, no one is perfect, but most of us are trying really hard to be the best we can be.

iammom

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 1:01 pm

amother wrote:

If you got the tools then you can handle it. That is exactly what it means.

Technically you aren't able to handle it when you get the nisayon but HaShem doesn't set us up to fail so He will give you tools/ways/help to get through it.

pause

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 1:10 pm

allthingsblue wrote:

No one can make me upset but me.

When I think this way, I literally feel my angry feelings sliding away as I CHOOSE to smile despite the circumstances.

Similar to this:
I always have a choice. I can choose to go along with something or not to. I can choose to be happy or not to be. I am not a victim of the situation.

tichellady

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 1:15 pm

TeachersNotebook wrote:

That Hashem doesn't give you a nisayon you can't handle. I had to live it to believe it.

I have never found that to be comforting, but maybe one day I will!

amother

Natural

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 1:27 pm

amother wrote:

When someone tells you who they are, believe them. -maya angelou
Changed my whole perspective while dating but also on relationships in general.

Can you explain this? I'm. Not getting it..

JAWSCIENCE

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 1:35 pm

Don't look in other people's closets - including your parents! Unless you run the tuition board it not your business what other people have. And even those who "know exactly what is going on etc. etc." as posted in so many threads may not really know. Be happy with what you have and zehu. Let Hashem sort the others out.

It's really hard but I try.

amother

Indigo

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 4:32 pm

When you speak Loshon Hora, you get bad luck. When people speak Loshon Hora about you, they get your Aveiros and you get their Mitzvos. That's why my Mazal suddenly skyrocketed when people spoke Loshon Hora about me.

I try very hard not to speak Loshon Hora. I don't want my good Mazal to end.

amother

Salmon

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 4:39 pm

amother wrote:

What's the source for this?

amother

Indigo

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 4:57 pm

amother wrote:

What's the source for this?

It's a sefer written by the Chofetz Chaim, Shemiras Halashon. In the Hebrew Edition, third Chapter. He quotes the Sefer Chovos Halevavos, 7th chapter as follows:

Quote:

A lot of people are going to show up on the Day of Judgment, and when they see their deeds, they are going to find lots of good deeds that they never did. They will say, "I never did these deeds." It will be said back to them, "These are the good deeds of the people who spoke negatively about you."

Likewise, they will see that some of their good deeds are missing. They will ask for them, and it will be told to them, "You lost them when you spoke about so and so."

End of the Chapter 3, Chofetz Chaim says that first Netzor Leshoncha Mera, then Sur Mera, so that the good that Hashem gives a person will stay with him and he won't give it away to others.

So if you hear a rumor about me, please don't approach me about it and ask me what happened. Just do the right thing and pass it along to everyone you know, along with my pic. The more, the better. Cheers

FranticFrummie

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 5:02 pm

pause wrote:

I always have a choice. I can choose to go along with something or not to. I can choose to be happy or not to be. I am not a victim of the situation.

I learned this in my early 20's, and it turned my life around. I like to say that the bad news is that I messed up, but the good news is that I have the power to fix it.

Also: Anger is like drinking poison, hoping that your enemy will die from it.

And most importantly: HASHEM RUNS THE WORLD.

crust

Thu, Aug 24 2017, 6:14 pm

That not every brilliant person lives thier brilliance.
That brilliance is not a tool or a skill that automatically helps one advance in life.
That there is a difference between IQ and EQ.
That EQ is valuable.
And finally that a brilliant or knowledgeable person does not always have a developed. EQ.

Last edited by crust on Thu, Aug 24 2017, 6:17 pm; edited 1 time in total