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Mean or cruel things your teacher said or did...
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Bizzydizzymommy









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 8:58 am
After reading a couple posts about really mean things teachers/rebbes said or did it saddened me . Perhaps because I k ow that the comments or actions done so long ago to you as a child still haunts you to some degree today.
Did a teacher, rebbe, or principal ever say something truly mean to you or your child that you found damaging?
My sister opened up to me and told me that when she was in elementary school the principal found out she was going to have a classmate over for Shabbos. The principal went and called the mother of that girl letting her know not to send her daughter to our home because we didn't have a father living at home. Then the principal called my sister out of class and said " Etty can't come to your house for Shabbos because there is no man to make kiddush. So my innocent sister said "my brother is a bochur he can make kiddush". The principal said that's not enough. Ever since then my sister HATED anything frum. She went OTD and claims if she ever saw this principal again she is afraid she wouldn't be able to hold herself back from doing harm to her. And we are talking 20 years later.
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tweety1









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 9:06 am
In all honesty other than gossip what's the point of this thread??
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simba









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 9:10 am
I cant think of anything traumatizing. On the other hand I can think of some things I did to my teachers that they are most likely still traumatized about!
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mommy3b2c









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 9:12 am
tweety1 wrote:
In all honesty other than gossip what's the point of this thread??


And if it's just gossip? No one knows who anyone is talking about.

I personally don't see the point in your post.
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Bizzydizzymommy









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 9:13 am
tweety1 wrote:
In all honesty other than gossip what's the point of this thread??

I did not intend for this to be a gossip thread. The opposite. I was hoping we can learn and see how our actions and words can be so damaging to children that it will raise awareness for us to be more careful and sensitive. And to also stick up for our children and speak out if they experience this kind of degradation.
I'm sorry if you misunderstood my intent.
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Ruchel









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 9:18 am
Bizzydizzymommy wrote:
Ever since then my sister HATED anything frum. She went OTD and claims if she ever saw this principal again she is afraid she wouldn't be able to hold herself back from doing harm to her. And we are talking 20 years later.


That's quite weird.
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amother




Ivory


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 9:21 am
Teachers don't always realize how much their words matter to a small child.
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Bizzydizzymommy









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 9:23 am
Ruchel wrote:
That's quite weird.

There is nothing weird. A child that comes from a home of divorce is more sensitive to begin with. This girl had no control over the fact that she had divorced parents and she was being "punished" for that by depriving her of having friends over just like any ordinary kid. This caused her deep pain obviously and that's what we need to be careful about.
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rgr









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 9:32 am
Ruchel wrote:
That's quite weird.


No actually, after reading the post my blood is boiling and I feel like I would hit that woman. K"v what she would feel.
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amother




Lilac


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 9:42 am
I was new to the school and very sheltered. I longed to be socially accepted but didn't know how.
One of the popular girls drew a caricature of a frum couple who had separate bedrooms and bathrooms and whatnot. So I drew the opposite, a modern couple with one bed and twp toilets in a bathroom, silly.
Ofcourse the teacher confiscated only my drawings.
What followed was being sent out of class for a full day and multiple verbal lashings by the principal. I tried to defend myself but how could I when I didn't even know what I was being accused of other than drawing in class? He called me rotten beer, lied saying that parents in the class were complaining that I was poisoning their daughters. He had it in for me for the rest of my school career and never believed I was innocent and didn't even know what sx was. He made my parents sent me to an unlicensed male therapist who nearly raped me and raped many others.
As for me, that incident forever stripped me of my childhood and threw me into a depression that took until adulthood to shake completely.
He is revered and praised by so many.
But he is a monster who preys on the weak and crushes anyone who stands in his way.
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amother




Ginger


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 9:47 am
Not school but I was called out of class in seminary in front of everyone and yelled out by a male rabbi (who was very senior in admin and I think became principal at one point) for being so disgusting, having the chutzpah to come to class like this, how they were barely putting up with me as is...
I was so scared I wet my pants a little.
To this day, I do not know what he was talking about. When I asked friends in the class - they didn't really know either. One said she thought maybe my shirt rode up a little bit while I was holding my books but she wasn't sure.

This was a large, mainstream seminary.


Last edited by amother on Wed, Sep 13 2017, 9:49 am; edited 2 times in total
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sneakermom









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 9:48 am
Ruchel I wonder what would be categorized in your book as an experience that is worthy of empathy?

A child's heart is broken. And you call her pain weird.

Why?

Personally my blood boiled twice. Hearing the story and then seeing it called weird.

There's a joke about Eyov that he said that the worst part of his suffering was after all was said and done people said it never even happened.

It's very painful to go through a particular abuse and then be thoroughly dismissed and invalidated.

Is there not a place for empathy? Is everything in life about sucking it up and telling the next person to suck it up? Is there a place for tears? Or is that a sign of being spoiled and stupid?
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mommy3b2c









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 10:03 am
Ruchel wrote:
That's quite weird.


I think your response is quite weird. Do you not feel for the little girl from a broken home that was pushed to the ground over and over again?
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amother




Wheat


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 10:09 am
I had an art teacher in high school who was nasty to anyone who wasn't good art. I'm terrible at art, I have zero artistic talent. My mother is an artist, which this teacher knew, so it was almost like she personally offended that art is just not my thing. She was so cruel that to this day I hate everything to do with art. I will not set foot in an art museum or gallery and I can't even do art projects with my kids.
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Bizzydizzymommy









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 10:12 am
amother wrote:
Not school but I was called out of class in seminary in front of everyone and yelled out by a male rabbi (who was very senior in admin and I think became principal at one point) for being so disgusting, having the chutzpah to come to class like this, how they were barely putting up with me as is...
I was so scared I wet my pants a little.
To this day, I do not know what he was talking about. When I asked friends in the class - they didn't really know either. One said she thought maybe my shirt rode up a little bit while I was holding my books but she wasn't sure.

This was a large, mainstream seminary.


I was also accused by a very chashuva rebbetzin in seminary for cheating on a test. Because me and another girl answered a question the same way. It turns out that girl had studied with me for the test. She accused us both. It bothers me until this day that she would think that of me. I'm the opposite o a liar and cheat. It's actually something I am very careful with so it really made me feel awful
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amother




Dodgerblue


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 10:13 am
Not to me, but to a friend of mine, if I remember correctly in 4th or 5th grade

"You are a baby! You are not a big girl! "

(Hi if your on here)
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Ruchel









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 10:16 am
Wanting to hit someone 20 years later is quite weird.
There are people who hold you need a boy over 13 for the brachos. She obviously held so. It was for the parents to decide anyway, not the principal. She's meddling. But wanting to hurt her, and be OTD because one person was dumb? I call bull. We've all had experiences with bad teachers, maybe even terrible. Then we become adults and don't allow it to be an excuse for violence or OTD decades after. I guess I'll never see eye to eye with those cultures.
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amother




Vermilion


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 10:17 am
I was accused of something in high school by a teacher that I didn't do. The principal called me in and yelled at me, calling me a liar, without asking me any questions to defend myself. I was a good girl, naive, and was shocked that he wasn't being dan lkaf zchus as we had always been taught.

I went home crying that day. My mother was furious and spoke to the principal who ended up apologizing over the phone. I think I have forgiven him, although I still do not like the teacher that initially accused me. It all gave me a very bad feeling.
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amother




Vermilion


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 10:23 am
My DH went to a chassidish school where hitting was accepted. BH he didn't have this teacher but his older brothers did. From the stories I've heard , this man was sadistic and will receive his due punishment one day.

One story he told me was: there was a chubby kid in the class that loved candy. The teacher went to the boy and told him that if he allows him to give the boy 10 potches, then he'll give him a bag of candy. The boy agreed because he wanted the candy. The teacher started hitting the boy really hard.. 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9.. after the 9th hard slap, he told the boy, I'm not going to give you the 10th slap, so you can't have the bag of candy.

Pure evil.
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mommy3b2c









  


Post  Wed, Sep 13 2017, 10:24 am
Ruchel wrote:
Wanting to hit someone 20 years later is quite weird.
There are people who hold you need a boy over 13 for the brachos. She obviously held so. It was for the parents to decide anyway, not the principal. She's meddling. But wanting to hurt her, and be OTD because one person was dumb? I call bull. We've all had experiences with bad teachers, maybe even terrible. Then we become adults and don't allow it to be an excuse for violence or OTD decades after. I guess I'll never see eye to eye with those cultures.


I will repeat. Your lack of empathy is quite weird and disconcerting.
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