How to be patient with kids right after work?

amother

Green

Thu, Oct 19 2017, 1:10 am

I have a long, draining day at work and when I come home, I'm tired. My kids were in daycare/school all day and also are hungry, tired, fussy, etc. I find that I literally can't even take 5 minutes. It is one after another, getting one a drink, another food, helping another one with a toy, playing with them. Then, once they're set up with an activity/toy, I get supper ready (even if it's made, still need to warm it up, set up plates, etc). I feel like it is literally non-stop. I don't have a second to unwind during this time because my kids are so needy.

What is your schedule like?
Let's say you're home around 5:00. How you carve in 10 minutes to sit and breathe between 5:00-8:00 which is the toughest time? I feel like it is this race to get everyone what they need, then dinner, bath, etc.

I find myself catching myself losing it or about to yell. That is not fair to my kids. I generally power through and tell myself just stay calm for a couple of hours but if I had a difficult, demanding non-stop day at work it is even harder. Of course, the toughest day at work tends to coincide with the toughest day at home. So for example, I come home and one kid has a dirty accident, one spills drink on carpet, one fell down outside on the way in and is bleeding. It is literally one thing after another. How do you all do it with little kids and high pressure work??!!

Please tell me any tips and tricks you have.

amother

Amber

Thu, Oct 19 2017, 1:18 am

I let my kids take an ices from the freezer after they put away their jackets/bags. They know this rule, and although it is not "self-time" it gives a few minutes for me to prepare supper on the table while they lick their ices.

Wintertime - not sure if I'll continue with the ices or some other snack.

Looking forward to other imamother responses on this topic....

cinnamon

Thu, Oct 19 2017, 1:51 am

Oh my gosh I remember those 'everyone comes home at the same time and everyone is crazy' times. They were so hard!

First off keep in mind that it doesn't last forever. Now my kids are a littke older and I come home after them so they already ate and relaxed by the time I get home and dd even makes me a coffee sometimes 😃

I've coped with this differently at different times.
Sometimes I would prep a yummy snack for everyone including me and we would all chill for like fifteen minutes together.
Sometimes I enforced a 'ten minutes alone' rule where I would go into my room for ten minutes and everyone just had to wait.
Sometimes I had a snack on the way home and used my commute as a breathing time between work and kids.
And there was even a while that I payed someone to pick up the kids just so I could get home five minutes before the flood.

amother

Teal

Thu, Oct 19 2017, 6:16 am

When I leave the office I think "now I'm going to my other full-time job". Here is my strategy:

1. Use the bathroom before I leave work so I'll have one less personal need when I walk in the door
2. Eat a snack I look forward to on the way home
3. Deep breathing at the end of my commute

Shoshana37

Thu, Oct 19 2017, 7:29 am

I agree deep breathing on the way from work helps a lot. When my kids were little I prepared dinner the night before for the next day after putting kids to sleep. It was very hard when they were little. Now it's hard because my younger kids have tons of homework and it's just too much on them and me after long day. There are times when I cry from overwhelmed days. I also have very busy hectic job at work. 😰
I would always have dark chocolate on hand for myself and keep reminding me this is all temporary.
Good luck.

amother

Black

Thu, Oct 19 2017, 9:10 am

The biggest thing for me is having supper all ready when I come home. It doesn't happen every day but when it does everyone is better for it. Walk in, smell the scent of food cooking. The food cooks either in the crockpot or oven until I get home.

Once I come home, the most urgent thing is for me to lock my door for 1 minute while I yank off my wig, tights and put on something really comfy. I don't let them talk to me until I'm undressed because I know it won't be good.

Before I leave work I make sure I'm well fed and use the bathroom again before leaving.

amother

Azure

Thu, Oct 19 2017, 9:34 am

I opened up Imamother to post this exact topic and I see its right here. I living walking distance to work and on way home I pick up baby (14 month) from the babysitter, my daughter from preschool and our last stop is waiting for my son at the bus stop. I get home and my baby doesnt stop pulling at my skirts. My 3 and 4 year old are constantly fighting. I can make supper for them but my son wont eat "till Totty comes home" which is at around six. If my sons not eating my daughter also doesnt want to. I try to give them a healthy snack to carry them through till dinner but they dont always take it. We walk in the door at around 3:40 and till six its makes supper..break up fight...clean up spill...pull baby off my skirt so I can walk...take daughter to bathroom..break up fight...try to feed kids etc. By the time my husband comes home im so beat plenty of times I just lock myself in my room for 20 minutes to have some peace and quiet. Problem is that if I do that then bath time gets delayed....

simba

Thu, Oct 19 2017, 9:59 am

Wow.. nice to hear I am not alone. I meet the bus as I get home from a full day at work.
Like others have said I make sure to use the bathroom and have something to eat before I leave work so I am not as fussy as they are!

1. Feed my kids something as soon as they walk in (after I remove my tights and wig!).
2. Sit on the couch for a few minutes and talk about their day.
3. Put away my personal devices until after bedtime. (including my phone)
4. make simple suppers
5. Breathe!

saw50st8

Thu, Oct 19 2017, 11:55 am

I'm with you!

This year my schedule is slightly easier because I get home at 4:45 but after care costs go in 1 hour increments so it's either 3:30-4:30 or 3:30-5:30. I make dinner from 4:55 - 5:15 and then get them. Can you carve in some time that way? This is literally the first time I have this and it is incredible. It is such a luxury.

Also, I put out a tray of something healthy for them to snack on while I'm doing some last minute stuff (taking out plates/silverware/cups/drinks etc). They hang up their bags and coats, sit down and start munching on peppers or cucumbers until I can give them their portion of dinner.

So even if you can't come home a few minutes before them, prepare something the night before and put it on the table as soon as you get home.

It's really hard. It gets a little easier as kids become more independent but then they also have more homework to check.

mha3484

Thu, Oct 19 2017, 12:28 pm

My situation is a little different as I come home last and its DH who needs a break from everyone but some things that help me anyways is that 1) I walk home to clear my head. It takes me about 15-20 minutes but it makes a big difference in my mood. 2) Once I get home I usually sit and nurse my baby and the other two kids get to sit and talk to me about whatever they want. After that we start with our dinner/hw/bed routine. The neediness is usually gone when I go to deal with dinner and they dont mind playing themselves or reading.

Another mom

Thu, Oct 19 2017, 1:42 pm

mha3484 wrote:

Dinner? In Israel we came home right into lunch (unless u work in hi tech or whatever).. the same rush, though. Gan used to be over at 12:30 ! Then 1:20 and now 2:00

mha3484

Thu, Oct 19 2017, 1:58 pm

Yeah. My baby is home with DH. my toddler goes until 1pm with the option to stay late if I want to pay extra and my oldest comes home at 3:45. I think it makes it easier for DH to have it staggered like that. All 3 at home for the whole afternoon would be so hard. How do you do that and not loose your mind?