Would you? | Imamother

amother

Crimson

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 9:36 pm

But it has Jewish infrastructure? Shul, mikvah, day school? Plenty of families shop in a regular supermarket and keep kosher homes. For me the determining factor would be appropriate schooling for my kids. If that's available, I'd be fine with moving.

Kiwi13

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 9:43 pm

Community is important to me. I don’t care so much about the “luxuries” of a big city, such as kosher restaurants, kosher supermarkets, sheitel shops, etc. (I don’t have those things where I live now and it’s not a big deal.)

I DO care about having a warm community, schools for my children, and the ability to get kosher food (whether from a regular grocery or even if some things, like meat, have to be ordered in bulk from another city).

Being able to afford living somewhere is important. But quality of life is important too. You have to know yourself and your needs. If the affordable town meets those needs, go for it!

MagentaYenta

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 9:44 pm

malkyderhn wrote:

move to a city where you can actually afford life if you knew ahead of time that the city has "no heimishe community", no yeshivas, no kosher supermarkets...
has anyone here done this? how difficult is it to adjust?

I didn't move to a city, I moved rurally about ten miles away from a town of two thousand and 16 miles from a real city of 20k at the time. The closest frum Jew was about 40-55 miles away depending on what roads were open. I now live in the city that once was 20k but grew to 50k. It's had a synagogue for about 10 years and the Jewish community has grown to the point that they are preparing to break ground on their first day school.

This took well over a year of planning and consultation with our regular rabbi at the time to successfully make the move. I don't regret it in the least and neither does my family.

amother

Taupe

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 9:50 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

Again, I'd move there by you!

Cost of living is killing my family in Brooklyn. I won't be moving any time soon due to family issues, but if we were free from that, YES. Hashem brings Jews to Jews, even if it takes a while in His time. Waiting on Him makes us stronger to stick with who we are.

Financial suffering that can be fixed by moving away?? Do ya research, trust in Hashem and go!

malkyderhn

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 10:04 pm

MagentaYenta wrote:

are you in the US? what state?

doctorima

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 10:12 pm

As important as cost of living and quality of life are, in my eyes, I would have no quality of life if there wasn't a strictly Orthodox shul in town and a local yeshiva school that I view as an acceptable educational option for my children. Without those, you could give me a free house to live in, and I still wouldn't be interested.

lavenderchimes

Tue, Nov 07 2017, 10:52 pm

malkyderhn wrote:

yes there is a shul (but all denominational if that makes sense), there is a lubavitch mikva and there is a day school but no high school (the day school is mixed until grade 9)

If the shul was Chabad with mixed attendance, yes. If the shul was egalitarian, no. Basically, I would consider moving to any community where Chabad had already set up camp, because if there is a Chabad house, I can for sure find everything I need.

amother

Ecru

Wed, Nov 08 2017, 3:15 am

amother wrote:

I grew up in such a city. Let's be real about the negatives.

1. Small classes, motto is "If you don't like anyone, you better learn to". Few kids went OTD cuz they just never found friends or fit in. If there's only 10 girls in the class, what do you do?
2. Community is so small, everyone knows everything about everyone. You are forced to socialize, and everyone knows about everyone's issues.
3. My city had BEYOND politics, I'm so glad I moved out. You wouldn't believe how much politics there were, and davka because it's much smaller so everyone was always involved. It was virtually impossible to stay nameless, faceless, and opinion-less.

amother

Mistyrose

Sat, Nov 11 2017, 8:43 pm

lavenderchimes wrote:

this statement is a little controversial because there are many cities and town with a chabad house but no cholov yisroel for many many miles

seeker

Sat, Nov 11 2017, 10:28 pm

amother wrote:

this statement is a little controversial because there are many cities and town with a chabad house but no cholov yisroel for many many miles

And there are many people who either don't keep cholov yisroel or have psakim that when CY is unavailable, the mainstream hechsher is OK. So... your point...?

amother

Ecru

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 3:10 am

amother wrote:

this statement is a little controversial because there are many cities and town with a chabad house but no cholov yisroel for many many miles

If there's no CY, youy don't eat it. Simple as that. That's why here is a heter. I live in town now so we don't eat non CY, but everyone out of town doesn't wait a month to get a block of cheese and milk and freeze them!

amother

cornflower

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 6:43 am

amother wrote:

If there's no CY, you don't eat it. Simple as that. That's why here is a heter. I live in town now so we don't eat non CY, but everyone out of town doesn't wait a month to get a block of cheese and milk and freeze them!

I live oot and we get lots of milk at once and freeze it. A local supermarket had a kosher section which sells other chalav yisrael items like cheese, yogurt, etc as well as long life cy milk. (we prefer frozen fresh milk) We can also get soya, almond, coconut milk and yogurts if we want.

But we are chabad and we are prepared for the challenges. Food is not the main challenge. (Nowadays there are websites that deliver food and we have a lot of freezers. Plus there is always fresh fruit and veg and fish and staples available so we will never starve.)

The challenge is chinuch. If you describe youself as a "heimish" family it is going to be very difficult. Less so if you are modern orthodox or open to your kids being exposed to all types of people. We send our kids away from home for school once they are a certain age, its just too difficult socially. Other families here keep their kids home but its very hard socially. Friends are mostly not frum. We also have to supplement the education they receive in the local Jewish school.

Just because there is a chabad house doesn't mean there is much infrastructure either. Many chabad shluchim homeschool, travel far to a mikva, import all their meat and dairy products, and may not even have a weekly shabbos minyan.