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"Registry" or gemach for BT/giyores?

 
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amother




Orchid


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 9:34 pm
Anon to because I'm posting about a friend.
I know a family who has been learning and keeping many mitzvos for about 2 years. One parent is Jewish, one in the process of conversion (mentioning this because I don't know what info might help them).
They have been shomer shabbos for almost a year, and they are going to kasher their home. I know cost is on their mind. They are very aware that becoming frum will/has affected their finances, but the never complain, it's just very matter of fact. Anyway, they are going to have to buy a lot of new things, beside for what they can't kasher, it's another set of everything. They are not doing well financially. They are such nice, amazing, sincere people and I really want to help them. Is there a gemach, or a kallah gemach that they can shop cost price from?
On a slightly different note, how can a few of us help- should we get a gift card to a specific store? Give cash and tell her why it's for? She hates asking for help and I don't want her to feel like a charity case. I want her to take advantage of any sales going on now too if she is going to kasher in the next week or two. I hope this all made sense.
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legalos









  


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 9:51 pm
First of all, this is amazing and I wish them all the hatzlacha!

Second, Idk of any gmachs but I’d be willing to send money towards a gift card. Good luck!
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amother




Orchid


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 9:54 pm
That is so sweet of you!
Trying to decide if I should ask other people in my very small community...I don't know if she would be touched or embarassed. Hard call.
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amother




Powderblue


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 9:55 pm
Can she make an Amazon registry? I might be able to purchase something for her directly if it's simple for me and I know where the money is going. Even though I know that a Jewish place would toivel the items for her. What about the Buzz? Can I purchase something for her there? Pretty expensive right?
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legalos









  


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 9:57 pm
amother wrote:
That is so sweet of you!
Trying to decide if I should ask other people in my very small community...I don't know if she would be touched or embarassed. Hard call.


I’m serious though - pm me if I can help in any way. I could load a gift card and send to you even. But honestly I think your desire to help comes from a place of true caring and you can present it as such. It’s not cheap to be frum, we all know that, and it’s always nice to be thought of.
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amother




Lavender


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 9:58 pm
amother wrote:
That is so sweet of you!
Trying to decide if I should ask other people in my very small community...I don't know if she would be touched or embarassed. Hard call.


I got all sorts of pots and pans when my mothers friends threw me a 'bridal shower'. I don't think anyone in the room thought I couldn't otherwise afford those things.

So why not throw a 'new kosher home' shower (if you think others would support this).

Same way my shower was a 'welcome to married life' yours is a 'welcome to kosher home life'.
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amother




Orchid


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 10:00 pm
That is so nice of you! Just want to make sure - it wasn't my intention to ask people to donate, but it is appreciated.
I wonder how she would feel about an Amazon registry. Like, what if not enough people contribute, would she feel dumb? It will be hard with convincing her to make one. I want to know the most sensitive way to do this, and protect her dignity. What do you wise amothers think?
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amother




Orchid


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 10:02 pm
amother lavender - I love that idea! I will run it past a few people in my area. She can always exchange things too without feeling like is charity.
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amother




Pewter


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 10:05 pm
I wouldn't say anything about them not doing well financially. I would make it out as a present not as tzedakah:
shprintzy- we are so excited that you are kashering your home and we wanted to share in this momentous occasion so we got together as a community and got you a gift card at ________, I hope you have a great time picking out new housewares or we are making you a kosher home shower..."

just saw someone wrote the same thing but I guess I'll post anyway Wink
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amother




Orchid


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 10:08 pm
Thank you pewter. I would never mention finances to her. I like how everyone is wording it- thanks! Now thinking about group gift card vs. A shower....
I was nervous about making this work but I feel encouraged now!
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Petra









  


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 10:16 pm
If one of them is in the process of conversion, won't there be a wedding once the conversion is complete? This would be the time for gifts from the community, no?
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Boca00









  


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 10:16 pm
She doesn't need to make a registry. You can just send her an Amazon gift card and she can pick out what is priorities for her.
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amother




Orchid


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 10:24 pm
Great question - I don't want to post to many details, to protect her privacy, but the conversion process takes a while. They keep all hilchos kashrus...except their kitchen isn't kosher. They use a lot of cheap plastic Wal-Mart plates for now, etc. But their pots are trief. They just feel wierd trying to keep kosher when their kitchen isn't. Especially since someone is Jewish, they want to kasher sooner than later. She told me they are going to kasher their kitchen in the next few weeks, and I thought - didn't she mention, in passing a few weeks ago, that they will have to buy a lot when they kasher? I can't even tell you what an amazing person my friend is... She just wants to do what's right...ok, I can't get carried away here Smile
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amother




Orchid


Post  Mon, Nov 13 2017, 10:26 pm
While the shower idea is a good one, I think I'm going to go with a gift card. I think she'll feel more comfortable that way.
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mommyhood









  


Post  Tue, Nov 14 2017, 11:53 am
In this case I think an actual gift will feel less like tzedakah and more of you wanting to share in their mitzvah/journey. Even if she could afford it it's so nice to show that you understand that the process is stressful and you want to help. Give a gift receipt so she can exchange if it's not what she needs.
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amother




Orchid


Post  Today at 1:30 pm
Thank you legalos for contributing! It gave me a boost to ask a few friends that know her. BH a few were able to contribute. Can't wait to give it to her!!
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