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DD3 doesn’t like school

 
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amother




Lemon


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 12:44 pm
My 3yr old dd started school this year in an official nursery. BH for the first 2 months she loved it! She was excited to go to school every morning, when I saw her throughout the day (I work there) she was happily playing, and when I picked her up she begged to stay longer. A few weeks ago things started shifting.
Every morning she would fight me, saying different articles of clothing bother her, this hurts, her shoes are wrong, etc. She started saying she didn’t like school and didn’t want to go. When I pick her up she won’t talk at all until we get home. If she ever catches a glimpse of me in school she runs over and won’t let go, crying. Her afternoon teacher reported that she cries basically daily. I’ve seen her in the playground sitting alone...she’s just not the same kid she used to be. The director of the program is looking into it now for a couple weeks but doesn’t think it’s a problem.

Now here’s the question...is this just a phase? Is it the new reality? Is this a red flag? Am I hurting my child by sending her to school every day?
What should I do??
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amother




Lemon


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 12:47 pm
Oh, I forgot to mention. We are trying to address all of her little clothing concerns in case that is the issue. We let her wear long sleeve’s every day with a sweatshirt because that’s most comfortable, we bought her new shoes, we gave her socks with no seams, etc. but no change. Sad
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amother




Lemon


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 7:54 pm
Bump
Please..
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FranticFrummie









  


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 8:45 pm
It's hard to get kids that age to be specific about what is going on with them.

When your DD is calm, usually right at bedtime, ask her:

What was the worst thing that happened today?
Then ask her What was the best thing that happened today?

Discuss the worst thing, let her feel heard, and that you are going to work on it. Then go back to discussing the good thing, so she can fall asleep on a happy note.

You'll be amazed at what you'll learn about your child's day in school.
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amother




Apricot


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 10:31 pm
That sounds very worrisome.
I would do some digging around to try to figure out what is going on.
Can you peek in the classroom during the day?
Speak to the teachers. Speak to other parents. Sometimes another child will tell their parents about what happened to your child that day. You may find out something this way.
Talk to your child.
Something is wrong and you need to figure out what it is.
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amother




Lemon


Post  Wed, Dec 06 2017, 11:17 pm
Thanks for responding!
FF I’ll try! She’s not such a big story sharer unless a specific memory is sparked, idk if she’ll be able to just draw upon the full days experiences

Apricot I’ve been doing that a bit, but so far I have been getting such mixed messages! I’m not sure how to proceed! It seems like she’s really usually fine but cries a couple times a day which is so not her personality.. so is it a real issue? I can’t tell!
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dancingqueen









  


Post  Thu, Dec 07 2017, 12:25 am
I would be concerned. Why is she crying according to the teachers?
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luvinlife









  


Post  Thu, Dec 07 2017, 7:00 am
could it be that one kids is bullying her and the teachers aren't even noticing? her behavior changed so much that for me that would be a red flag. continue looking into it, stopping into the classroom and have the teachers pay attention to what's going on around her.
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amother




Copper


Post  Thu, Dec 07 2017, 7:11 am
Thats tough. I would definitely worry. Don't know what works for you but dh and I would probably rotate staying home w her a wk to see if things shift or we get something out of her. I dont trust anyone. The director looking into it wouldn't reasure me
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amother




Lemon


Post  Thu, Dec 07 2017, 8:16 am
Thank you for validating my concerns! She is my oldest so when the director told me that it’s normal sometimes to go through phases like this, I wasn’t sure what to think.

I don’t think realistically I can keep her home much, but I can pick her up early/drop her off late if that would help

I will follow up up on the social/bullying angle

I do peek in fairly often, the issue is that when my daughter sees me her behavior changes so I am really not seeing what goes on. And by now her whole class recognizes me so they all make sure to announce, “DD, your mommy is here!” Laughing Rolling Eyes
I’ve been trying to have friends of mine peek in but no clarity yet.
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amother




Lime


Post  Thu, Dec 07 2017, 8:23 pm
She was happy the first 2 months- which is great. What happened at the two month mark? did a new kid join the class? A new assistant? She may have had a scare at the two month mark and the scare may be stuck in her . Maybe a few sessions of play therapy can help her get it out of her system.
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amother




Lime


Post  Thu, Dec 07 2017, 8:26 pm
I second the idea of having your friends check in.
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