New Cleaning Lady - Would this weird you out?

imasoftov

Thu, Dec 21 2017, 11:48 am

Ruchel wrote:

I didn't think of those massages as they're illegal bh. But still, ewww, next.

Is there some prejudice in France of which I am not aware against touch between adults unless they are committing adultery with one another?

Ruchel

Thu, Dec 21 2017, 12:33 pm

imasoftov wrote:

Is there some prejudice in France of which I am not aware against touch between adults unless they are committing adultery with one another?

This isn't touch, this is MASSAGE. I grew up modern. Cheek kiss, hugging, whatever. But unless you're together, or a doctor, you stay the hell away from massaging/deeply touching a body. Gross.

amother

Ruby

Thu, Dec 21 2017, 5:15 pm

Oy Ruchel, you are really missing something. A therapeutic massage is so relaxing, gets all your muscles to feel great. Of course, if DH were willing to learn to give a good massage, that would be even better, but meanwhile I indulge occasionally for my health.

imasoftov

Fri, Dec 22 2017, 5:05 am

Ruchel wrote:

This isn't touch, this is MASSAGE. I grew up modern. Cheek kiss, hugging, whatever. But unless you're together, or a doctor, you stay the hell away from massaging/deeply touching a body. Gross.

When you say "you stay the hell away" do you mean that this is the attitude in France, in the community you now live, or just you, Ruchel? In France, are there not legitimate professionals who are trained to give massages but not practice medicine?

Ruchel

Fri, Dec 22 2017, 5:37 am

What is the goal of those questions? And how do you know I don't receive massages either from husband or doctor?
NOT comfortable disclosing all this when some questioners are anon.
I'll just say, I know no one going for massage if it isn't about pain, discomfort or health. I grew up OOT, in public school,and lived there after. It wasn't like here where people "neeeed" massage and go to special places. If massage isn't professional then it's something much too personal to do with a non spouse. This shall iyh be my last reply because I don't get the nitpicking.

imasoftov

Fri, Dec 22 2017, 7:20 am

Ruchel wrote:

I have no idea if you receive massages from anyone, I'm not curious about that, and all I want to know is if you're speaking for yourself, your community, or the whole world. I am not nitpicking. There is just so much subtext pouring out of your posts I don't know where to start. What are the quotes around needed? What are special places? And what's personal about massage? Are we even talking about the same thing? From an online dictionary: "the rubbing and kneading of muscles and joints of the body with the hands, especially to relieve tension or pain"

lavenderchimes

Fri, Dec 22 2017, 8:21 am

People go to school especially to be trained to do massage. Most Doctors recognize the health benefits of massage, but no (or close to "no") doctors actually do massage. Even my Chabad Rabbi has no issue with massage given by a professional. It is very possible that OP's mystery lady is actually a certified masseur earning extra money cleaning. This is MORE likely than her being a professional cleaner giving creepy massages. And it's easy to find out!

octopus

Fri, Dec 22 2017, 8:27 am

I totally disagree! If you are a masseuse you are not cleaning ppl's homes to earn some extra cash. I don't think ruchel is overreacting. I wholeheartedly agree with ruchel that it's just gross. I would never take a massage from anybody that was not either my spouse or a professional IN A PROFESSIONAL SETTING. Not in the comfort of my house. That's too creepy and personal. I'm a huggy person, so I don't have aversion to touch, but I also know boundaries and it always alarms me at how people don't know how to set proper boundaries with one another. No, your cleaning woman should not be giving you massages.

imasoftov

Sat, Dec 23 2017, 5:53 pm

octopus wrote:

Maybe "you"'re a massage student who is putting her way through classes cleaning houses. Some massage therapists make house calls. Legitimate massage therapists. I have never ordered a masseuse to my house but I was once staying at the home of a rabbi I know during a business trip, another guest who was there recovering from something medical, I don't remember the details, had a massage therapist over the rabbi and his wife were fine with that.